A Confused Punjabi-Sikh Girl

bliss · #1 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 21:53 PM

Sat Sri Akaal everyone,

I'm a young Punjabi-Sikh girl from Australia and I would like to ask your opinions on these topics raised.

First of all, I hold my religion very close to my heart... however I am very critical of Punjabi culture, and I do notice the bad things like:

double-standard in men and women, heavy patriarchy/sexism - boys can go out, girls can't and if they do, they are deemed to be 'bad'.

racism towards other cultures - seeing white/black people as being different to us and saying they have bad morals

upholding of caste system - you often hear 'jatts' refer to other castes as 'choodas' and even when they say they don't believe in caste.. they continue to do so

extreme pride in having a 'good' family - it's so important for many parents to marry their kids into a good family and often don't let their children be happy and have the freedom they want because other people will think it's 'bad' - e.g. going out

and many more beliefs which contradict Sikhism.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/35398-a-confused-punjabi-sikh-girl.html
This is all generally speaking on my experience but I'm sure many of you can relate.

I would like to know, what is your opinion on the fact that Punjabi culture is being held higher than Sikhism by many Punjabis? How could we change this? Do you disagree with me? I would just like your opinions because I feel so lost and so insecure in my culture.

I see a lot of young Sikh men who go out and get drunk, get Sikhi tattoos, call themselves "jatts" and get angry when they see young Sikh girls going out and I think it's disgusting that parents are telling their kids this is right.. personally I have taught my little brother that this is completely wrong. He was putting "jatt" on his Facebook before and I got upset at him for doing that... but lots of parents aren't teaching their kids about Sikhi, they are just instilling their racist and sexist beliefs in their kids.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35398

Older people are saying Punjabi culture is becoming 'Westernized' but I just believe it is evolving. What do you think? Do you think Punjabi culture is changing for the good or the bad?

Secondly, I am a singer and dancer, I write english music and dance to english songs and I have recently got some interest for a major recording company in America.

However, many Punjabi people say that I am departing from my beliefs and morals and I am wrong. This makes me deeply sad because I absolutely love music and these people are telling me I'm wrong and too provocative and Punjabi girls don't do this. What do you think? Do you think it's wrong that I am becoming a singer/dancer? Their are many young women in Bollywood but none are Punjabi and British singer Jay Sean who is also Punjabi-Sikh is a representative of Western Desi's but he is a male and I know that people think different of male and female in Punjabi culture and I'm scared people will think I'm wrong and hate me. Would you honestly feel uncomfortable with a young Punjabi-Sikh female singer/dancer? Do you think many Punjabi people will get angry and not respect me?

I would really appreciate any answers as I am very lost and confused and this is the only place I can turn to for help. Thank you in advance for your answers.

kds1980 · #2 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 22:14 PM

Quote:

Secondly, I am a singer and dancer, I write english music and dance to english songs and I have recently got some interest for a major recording company in America.

However, many Punjabi people say that I am departing from my beliefs and morals and I am wrong. This makes me deeply sad because I absolutely love music and these people are telling me I'm wrong and too provocative and Punjabi girls don't do this. What do you think? Do you think it's wrong that I am becoming a singer/dancer? Their are many young women in Bollywood but none are Punjabi and British singer Jay Sean who is also Punjabi-Sikh is a representative of Western Desi's but he is a male and I know that people think different of male and female in Punjabi culture and I'm scared people will think I'm wrong and hate me. Would you honestly feel uncomfortable with a young Punjabi-Sikh female singer/dancer? Do you think many Punjabi people will get angry and not respect me?

There many females in bollywood which are from Sikh background.

As far singing and dancing is concerned what type of Dancing you do.If you do bollywood type Dance then I am sorry no respectable family from any religion would want to see their daughter doing it.

bliss · #3 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 22:40 PM

Thank you for the response.. I don't know what type of dancing is in Bollywood, I don't watch their movies. Could you please link me a video?

kds1980 · #4 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 22:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bliss

Thank you for the response.. I don't know what type of dancing is in Bollywood, I don't watch their movies. Could you please link me a video?

most of dancing in bollywood is vulgar so I don't think it appropriate to post a link here.You just tell what dancing you do?

spnadmin · #5 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 23:04 PM

Sorry for interrupting. However the thread is double posted and the starter articles are not exactly the same. I need to figure out how to merge the threads without making a mess. At some point expect the two threads to be merged. spnadmin

bliss · #6 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 23:05 PM

Oh okay.. I do hip hop dancing

spnadmin · #7 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 23:11 PM

Two threads now merged. Original thread remains in the Sikh Youth forum.

spnadmin · #8 (**permalink**) 15-May-2011, 23:59 PM

I am myself interested in the reactions of the forum to your question about "double standards for men and women." For both Bollywood and for other forms of popular performance, not limited to hip-hop, as found on CD's, TV, YouTube, etc.

kds1980 · #9 (**permalink**) 16-May-2011, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spnadmin

I am myself interested in the reactions of the forum to your question about "double standards for men and women." For both Bollywood and for other forms of popular performance, not limited to hip-hop, as found on CD's, TV, YouTube, etc.

What double standards.Sikh men who joined bollywood were almost disowned by community.Infact many times it comes to us as shocker that the character which we were seeing from years is a Sikh.These people never used the term Sikh for them,they just used to say either jatt or Punjabi because they knew that using term Sikh could have been controversial for them.On the other hand it is the sikh women in bollywood who used word sikh for them despite cutting hair in recent 90s and 2000s

Traditional Sikh families Which wanted their sons to wear turban always kept their boys away from this industry.At best they can play back door role of fashion designer writer etc but never the On screen role.The only role Sikhs played on screen was always of comedian in Hindi Film and serial industry.