Basically I’m a Sikh boy living in the UK. I have just turned 16 and for the past few months have been gaining allot of female attention with Sikh and Christian girls. I was wondering whether it is a sin to have a girlfriend. Does it matter what colour, race or religion she is? Is it wrong to have premarital sex even if you really love and care for the girl? In the eyes of the UK law I am fully permitted to engage in sexual intercourse but what about Sikhism rules?
Surely god is not racist and does not discriminate between colour and race?

I would not suggest getting a girlfriend as it will cause many problems.. but it is up to you I suppose. <<<<<<<<<< edited >>>>>>>>>>>

Sikhism talks about controlling Kaam = an obsession with sex or lust. Are your actions guided by this? If they are then you should ask yourself are you seeking self gratification, because if you are it may cause other problems.

Sikhism does not discriminate against others. The Sikh Code of Conduct Rehit Maryada does state a Sikh must marry a Sikh. The Sri Guru Granth Sahib j (Sikh Holy scriptures), make no such rules. A Sikh can be of any race/colour etc.

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Randip Singh
Sikh History Website

"Let no man be proud because of his caste/race (Jaat).
For the man who has God in his heart, he alone is the true Brahmin.
O stupid fool, be not proud of your caste/race (Jaat), by this pride many sins arise.
Everyone says there are four castes/races (Jaat), but they are all created from the Lords seed (essence).
All men are moulded from the same clay, but the potter has fashioned it into vessels of numerous forms.
By joining the five elements, the form of the body is made, no one can say that the element is less in one and more in another" Pg 1128 SGGS

so does that mean having Sikh girlfriend is ok?

Having a girlfriend is fine, but i would NOT have sex until after marriage - but then again, thats your choice.

Please also know being Panjabi and being Sikh are TWO different things... just because your are panjabi does not mean you are a Sikh at heart

I think a few years ago I would say no sex, but today I ask myself sex even within marriage just based purely on lust rather than love maybe percieved as Kaam.

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Randip Singh
Sikh History Website

"Let no man be proud because of his caste/race (Jaat).
For the man who has God in his heart, he alone is the true Brahmin.
O stupid fool, be not proud of your caste/race (Jaat), by this pride many sins arise.
Everyone says there are four castes/races (Jaat), but they are all created from the Lords seed (essence).
All men are moulded from the same clay, but the potter has fashioned it into vessels of numerous forms.
By joining the five elements, the form of the body is made, no one can say that the element is less in one and more in another" Pg 1128 SGGS

For most, there is a mix of both.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

These days I'm starting to think and truly believe that even having a boyfriend/girlfriend probably is not the best idea, specially for someone merely in their teenage years. People tend to get caught up in their emotions and often do end up doing things they regret. It may start off totally innocent, but with kaam towering over you like a Hawk, you never know when it will swoop down for the kill.

I think there is much truth in this.

Sikhism aside, the body is awash with raging hormones that are very difficult to control in teenage years, so judgement would be swayed. I have many friends who regret doing certain things in their teens. They wish they could go back and change what they have done.

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Randip Singh
Sikh History Website

"Let no man be proud because of his caste/race (Jaat).
For the man who has God in his heart, he alone is the true Brahmin.
O stupid fool, be not proud of your caste/race (Jaat), by this pride many sins arise.
Everyone says there are four castes/races (Jaat), but they are all created from the Lords seed (essence).
All men are moulded from the same clay, but the potter has fashioned it into vessels of numerous forms.
By joining the five elements, the form of the body is made, no one can say that the element is less in one and more in another" Pg 1128 SGGS

Randip Ji

Totally agree with you on this!

My answer is Yes you can have a girl friend .
About Sex its very personal decision and only Thing I would say is take it as very important and not lightly and I hope you will arrive at appropiate discision as per your situation .

The baseline is Sikhism does not Bar anybosy to live a normal life although it offers lot of sensible things that help you in long run!

so take care



Jatinder Singh

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PrIdw kwl^ØI ijnI n rwivAw DaulI rwvY koie ]