Help the needy. But who are the needy?

Gurfatehji,

Although there are several discussions currently being debated on kesh and thoughts, I wanted to touch on something else, namely seva.

To whom exactly should we be making seva to? everyone? those in apparent need?

My father sent me this over the weekend, I read it with interest

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives.

If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
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Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=36859
We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!


So not only do we need to do seva but it needs to be the right kind of seva, the seva that frees and educates, rather than imprisons and encourages dependency, but its hard sometimes to know what to do.........

 
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Awesome snippet, please thank your father for it, bhaji.

And I think you answered your own question at the end.

I was watching TV last night (again...) and I saw a program about people in Venezuala, how their President in 2008 was trying to encourage the people to invade the land owned by the handful of landlords and occupy it forcefully so they could start growing their own food and help the local economy. The host visited one of the co-ops and in 5 years their main concern was thrashing out the bushes diving their co-op from the one next door -- they grew pretty much nothing of their own. Their reason was they couldn't get loans for agricultural tools, etc, because they did not legally own the land!
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Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=36859

An example of trying to help but not doing a real good job of it...

Here's a summary of the series: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programme...ld/6321203.stm You might be able to find snippets of it on Youtube, etc, if interested.

And it's like, giving money to homeless people - they're likely to spend it on cigarettes and booze. Or like our government here, paying people thousands of dollars for making babies -- you end up with a bunch of single-mum families with a bunch of ramshackle kids who are clearly not loved, while mum and (sometimes) dad (if he's around) are occupied smoking pot or watching their plasma televisions...

Then you get some of these charities which claim they'll help needy people but they pocket the donations for themselves and don't do anything for their clients...

You're very right, it's hard to know what to do!

Ishna

Bhenji

I think it goes further than that, I have in the past, change a tyre for a gentleman in a mercedes who had no idea what to do , at the time, I thought I was doing good, seeing Waheguru in this gentleman, but by the look on his face when I had finished, I felt I was being used.

A few months ago, a chap stopped me in the street, begging for bus fare, as he was ill, etc etc, so I said, forget the bus, I will give you a lift, but he did not want to know, said he hardly knew me, i said, you know me well enough to ask for money, and then he walked off, yesterday, the same man walked into my shop, and gave me the same story, when I remarked that he had already given me this story, he left in a hurry, I have also in the last few weeks come across a customer who is extremely needy, and the more I help, the more needy the customer gets, and I quite agree with you about organised charity, the amount of times I have been stopped by someone trying to get me to donate a few pounds a month, and when I have asked 'how much do you earn', some of the earn more than me!
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I do not like to judge people, but this is different, this is seeing people for what they are, not what they pretend to be, Guru gives us knowledge, and the tools to differentiate, I think the Guru expects us to hone these skills, so as not to waste time helping those who could well help themselves, or those who see others help as a way of life, both huge wastes of time, energy and resources.

Personally, I think seva should be of physical type, listening, doing, making a tangible difference, not just appeasing ones own guilt, for as many fraudsters that pretend to be Babas, there seems to be just as many pretending to be needy!

Yikes. That's gotta hurt.

You say seva should be of the physical type -- like changing a tyre (for the Merc-jerk)?
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Or joining a co-op like they have at a nearby church here -- they help less fortunate with gardening, new families with landscaping, small families with moving house, etc.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=36859

Or like cooking/serving langar to people 99% of whom in the West earn enough to pay for their langar and for someone to bring it to them?

Is it better to donate your time to hands-on helping those who can't help themselves, like the physically challenged? Even they can develop complexes and abuse the system! (or worse yet, their carers!)

It seems no matter where you turn you can't serve the truly needy?

But then, by helping the Merc-jerk, and him regarding you with contempt, are you really losing anything? It is his loss that he is so manmukh... it is your gain to do a good deed?

That is bittersweet though... like when you let someone into traffic and they don't even wave... gee that makes you kick yourself for being kind!

Then you get the ones who give you a wave in the mirror AND stick their hand out the window! They make you smile.

So you win some and you lose some, should it make you stop helping entirely?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Breakfast at McDonalds

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’ The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.I did not move an inch…. an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was ‘smiling’. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, ‘Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’ because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you.. God is here working through me to give you hope.’

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..’. We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
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Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=36859

We are not church goers, but we are believers… That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in ‘my project’ and the instructor read it.Then she looked up at me and said, ‘Can I share this?’ I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn : Unconditional Acceptance.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to……

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS – NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE


- an enlightened soul

Souljyotji,

This is an example of how easy it is to spot the needy, the ability to help, and know that your helping is making a difference, not just making life 'a bit easier', I would put this in fact, as an extreme example of worthwhile helping in that it is so obvious this is a good cause, there is no doubt what the right thing to do is, the trouble is, the situations we find ourselves in every day require thought, perception, thinking outside of the box, the question is, how do you sort the chaff from the wheat, most times, I do not know whether I am being stung, used or just being careful, I am sure that the Gurus did not advocate wholesale helping to all and sundry, just the worthy, the question is how do you know who is worthy?

Veer Ji, good question I once saw a lady and her blind husband walk into a wedding reception, l saw her looking around for a while as all the older ladies like to sit together and the men on other tables so I offered to look after him, she said something nice to me and left.Then the first thing he asked for was for me to get a beer ,then another ,then another and then finally he said can you take me to the toilet.
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Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=36859
(I did not hold it if that's what you are thinking)See you do one good thing and you get ****** on!

Veerji

Again, I know some blind people that make it their mission to be as independent as possible, is such mollycoddling holding some people back?

A WORD TO THE WISE: Never judge all by the actions of a few, so:
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"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
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If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

— Mother Teresa