Gurfateh Sangatji
My dear mother and father, pleased that I have stopped calling myself an atheist, sent me this link to encourage me today., Some of you may have seen it before, it is an animated version of Guru Nanak's life
It also answered a question that I had had for some time, Did Guruji consider his family before he went to find god, and I found the answer in this animation, which is most tender and loving.
I have for many years now, had very long depressive bouts, which to me is consistent with the lifestyle I have had led, you take the highs and the lows as they come. I have found that now, when I wake up depressed, which used to last for 5 or 6 days, when I would speak very little, I now read the daily prayer from Harminder Sahib, and then research the subject that is causing me angst on this forum. I am now able to discharge these negative feelings normally in about an hour, by which time I am my normal happy fool, chardi kala self.
I have also narrowed down the thought process that leads me to getting depressed, it is normally the thought that, in this lifetime, I am not going to find the truth, just spend a lifetime doing sewa, with no salvation for myself.
I have to say this thought is actually what I live with on the whole, and I am comfortable with it. If god wishes me to sewa myself to death without finding the truth, I have no real problem with that , as it is gods will, but sometimes, the thought of washing the dishes for eternity as I hear my fellow sikhs enjoying the kirtan in the main hall, does depress me, not very often, but sometimes,.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/36057-the-life-of-guru-nanak-children.html
Strangely enough, I would never change from this line of thought, despite any argument, as it seems to me, hugely important that the truth finds me, and not the other way around. If the truth is to find me, then I must be not looking for it, as if I add that search to my lifes desires, I fear I will taint what I have, by placing the end of the journey, above the journey.
Our children need to be exposed to less ritual and tradition, lets face it, the basic principle of sikhi is so simple, a child could understand it
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