who is a Sikh and when should you start calling yourself "Sikh"?

carolineislands · #1 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 08:58 AM

I know this seems like a really elementary question but it's not as easy to answer as I thought it might be. Honestly, I am not sure when a person starts calling themselves a Sikh. When you make the decision to be a Sikh? When you are completely faithful with morning meditation and follow the 3 pillars? When you wear dastaar? Honestly, I wear dastar at home and sometimes when I go out but not often. The reason I don't is because I don't want people to ask me if I'm a Sikh because I simply don't feel worthy to represent Sikhi.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/21056-who-sikh-when-should-you-start.html

I know that might sound soppy, but its the truth. I don't feel worthy of representing Guruji... and that's why I am hesitant to call myself a Sikh. To me, its kind of like calling yourself an "expert" or a "saint." When are you an expert? How much do you have to know? When are you a saint? How good do your actions have to be? How clean does your heart have to be? When do you call yourself a Sikh?

Narayanjot Kaur · #2 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 09:17 AM

Carolineislands ji

Tonight I am splitting my time between doing laundry and moderating and writing my own thoughts too. So I saw your questions. WoW!! On another forum, let's call it Nameless for Now, one very dear and kind member from Delhi, wrote that he was very concerned that I doubt myself the way I seem to do. I had actually described the feeling of not being a "real Sikh". Even though i was speaking tongue in cheek, it was my attempt to describe the struggle we who are converts have feeling authentic. So much knowledge, language, understanding of Sikhism is bound up in centuries of culture that some share -- those born into Sikhism - and others do not have this dependable founcaton-- they are those who convert.

I want to share what he told me without disclosing his identity or the name of the forum. It is a private network anyway. This may help you as it helped me.

I firmly know that the Guru takes care of his sikhs. But the only condition is that the sikh is true to his Guru and not that he knocks at other doors as well.

A convert sikh truly has no tradition to teach him or ease of learning. But at the same time there is no accompanying garbage to give up.

Guru Nanak Dev ji in his time traveled far and wide and there were sikhs with diverse cultures. Many unfamiliar with the language. In a local Hyderabad Gurdwara which i visited once there were telgu speaking sikhs who have a different back ground. Similarly there are many other sikhs with different language backgrounds.

The sikhi of Guru Nanak is devoid of rituals. It is difficult to practice as there are hardly any ritualistic things to do. The sikhi is to go within. It is to live as even a householder and be with the Guru within. So people with diverse backgrounds can easily go forward.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056

The Guru arranges the satsangat as per needs. The affairs too are resolved both of the outer world and blocks before the inner world.

So I am not going to say more right now but to share your wistful sense of wondering. Now deep down inside you know you are a Sikh. Of course you do. It just that sometimes it is such a fragile feeling.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056

carolineislands · #3 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 09:49 AM

I'm starting to realize how much my first experience with a Sikh affected me. This woman was is a friend of mine who I love and respect very much. When I told her I was very interested in Sikhi and had been studying it with the intent of "converting" she shocked me with her response -- she was not at all encouraging about it. She is from Punjab but has lived in the States for over 30 years and raised her children here. When I got over the shock of her reaction I asked her to explain her feelings and she said that she didn't really believe in converting because a person's religion is in their cells -- it's part of who they are. And she went on to describe how her faith is something she was born and raised in and that she chose before her birth and that a person can't just change that. Then she said that no one religion was better than another and was concerned that I wanted to leave the love of Jesus.

I was like

"Huh?"

I came away from that feeling self conscious and presumptuous about my desire to become a Sikh. Since then I haven't talked to her about Sikhi and I don't think she is away of how much I have embraced this path in my heart. I did a lecture with her a few weeks ago and I saw her eye catch on my kara. She didn't say anything.

I wondered about that a lot though. I thought about what she said about choosing our families and our religions before we're born and how we all do that because that's the path that has what we need to learn in this lifetime. But then I thought, what if what I needed to learn was to seek out the best path instead of just following what was expected of me? What if what I needed to do in this lifetime was find Guruji?

Funny thing is, she is totally non traditional. She has short hair and dresses totally American. I wonder if she thinks about the fact that she has converted nationalities? LOL

At any rate, I think that experience probably planted a seed in my mind about whether or not I could become an 'authentic' Sikh even though I wasn't born to it.

Fortunately, I have run into people who have been much more encouraging! This forum has helped, with all it's pros and cons. And there are a couple of really nice Sikh families in my town who have been very supportive too. They say they love to see westerners coming to Sikhi because it makes them to take a fresh look at their faith, and also because they think that converts bring wonderful things to a faith community. They're not at all critical or suspicious of 3HO - they think they've brought new life to Sikhi.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056

I think I'm going to gurdwara with them in next weekend. I don't know why I'm nervous about that. Should I go up front and pay my respects to Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji like everybody else or just slip in the back?

LOL It is truly not like me to be shy! Have you ever seen the movie, "The Color Purple?" You know that song the nightclub singer sings when she goes into her father's church? I sing that song! And DANCE. I've been to Vodou ceremonies! Why am I nervous about going to gurdwara???

anyhow... thank you so much. That writing was very touching. And please thank your friend for me too.

Narayanjot Kaur · #4 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 10:06 AM

ਸੂਹੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ਗੁਣਵੰਤੀ ॥
soohee mehalaa 5 gunavanthee ||
Soohee, Fifth Mehl, Gunvantee ~ The Worthy And Virtuous Bride:

ਜੋ ਦੀਸੈ ਗੁਰਸਿਖੜਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਨਿਵਿ ਨਿਵਿ ਲਾਗਉ ਪਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
jo dheesai gurasikharraa this niv niv laago paae jeeo ||
When I see a Sikh of the Guru, I humbly bow and fall at his feet.

ਆਖਾ ਬਿਰਥਾ ਜੀਅ ਕੀ ਗੁਰੁ ਸਜਣੁ ਦੇਹਿ ਮਿਲਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
aakhaa birathhaa jeea kee gur sajan dhaehi milaae jeeo ||
I tell to him the pain of my soul, and beg him to unite me with the Guru, my Best Friend.

ਸੋਈ ਦਸਿ ਉਪਦੇਸੜਾ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਅਨਤ ਨ ਕਾਹੂ ਜਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
soee dhas oupadhaesarraa maeraa man anath n kaahoo jaae jeeo ||
I ask that he impart to me such an understanding, that my mind will not go out wandering anywhere else.

ਇਹੁ ਮਨੁ ਤੈ ਕੂੰ ਡੇਵਸਾ ਮੈ ਮਾਰਗੁ ਦੇਹੁ ਬਤਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
eihu man thai koon ddaevasaa mai maarag dhaehu bathaae jeeo ||
I dedicate this mind to you. Please, show me the Path to God.

ਹਉ ਆਇਆ ਦੂਰਹੁ ਚਲਿ ਕੈ ਮੈ ਤਕੀ ਤਉ ਸਰਣਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
ho aaeiaa dhoorahu chal kai mai thakee tho saranaae jeeo ||
I have come so far, seeking the Protection of Your Sanctuary.

ਮੈ ਆਸਾ ਰਖੀ ਚਿਤਿ ਮਹਿ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਭੋ ਦੁਖੁ ਗਵਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
mai aasaa rakhee chith mehi maeraa sabho dhukh gavaae jeeo ||
Within my mind, I place my hopes in You; please, take my pain and suffering away!

ਇਤੁ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਚਲੇ ਭਾਈਅੜੇ ਗੁਰੁ ਕਹੈ ਸੁ ਕਾਰ ਕਮਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
eith maarag chalae bhaaeearrae gur kehai s kaar kamaae jeeo ||
So walk on this Path, O sister soul-brides; do that work which the Guru tells you to do.

ਤਿਆਗੇਂ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਮਤੜੀ ਵਿਸਾਰੇਂ ਦੂਜਾ ਭਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥
thiaagaen man kee matharree visaaraen dhoojaa bhaao jeeo ||
Abandon the intellectual pursuits of the mind, and forget the love of duality.

ਇਉ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਹਰਿ ਦਰਸਾਵੜਾ ਨਹ ਲਗੈ ਤਤੀ ਵਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥
eio paavehi har dharasaavarraa neh lagai thathee vaao jeeo ||
In this way, you shall obtain the Blessed Vision of the Lord's Darshan; the hot winds shall not even touch you.

ਹਉ ਆਪਹੁ ਬੋਲਿ ਨ ਜਾਣਦਾ ਮੈ ਕਹਿਆ ਸਭੁ ਹੁਕਮਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056
ho aapahu bol n jaanadhaa mai kehiaa sabh hukamaao jeeo ||
By myself, I do not even know how to speak; I speak all that the Lord commands.

ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਖਜਾਨਾ ਬਖਸਿਆ ਗੁਰਿ ਨਾਨਕਿ ਕੀਆ ਪਸਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056
har bhagath khajaanaa bakhasiaa gur naanak keeaa pasaao jeeo ||
I am blessed with the treasure of the Lord's devotional worship; Guru Nanak has been kind and compassionate to me.

ਮੈ ਬਹੁੜਿ ਨ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਭੁਖੜੀ ਹਉ ਰਜਾ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਿ ਅਘਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥
mai bahurr n thrisanaa bhukharree ho rajaa thripath aghaae jeeo ||
I shall never again feel hunger or thirst; I am satisfied, satiated and fulfilled.

ਜੋ ਗੁਰ ਦੀਸੈ ਸਿਖੜਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਨਿਵਿ ਨਿਵਿ ਲਾਗਉ ਪਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
jo gur dheesai sikharraa this niv niv laago paae jeeo ||3||
When I see a Sikh of the Guru, I humbly bow and fall at his feet. ||3||

I will send you a pm about going to gurdwara. First time your eyes will be opened. It is going to be very different from what you think.

kds1980 · #5 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 11:05 AM

Caroline ji

These days plenty of sikhs think that conversions in sikhism or spreading sikhism is banned in sikhism.They just think that one should follow religion in which he/she born.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=21056
They forget that ancestors of more than 90% of sikhs were Hindu's and at one point
they converted to sikhism that's why there descendents are sikhs today.

I don't know who spread this Myth or who spreaded this type of misunderstanding in sikhism

dalsingh · #6 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 18:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kds1980

Caroline ji

These days plenty of sikhs think that conversions in sikhism or spreading sikhism is banned in sikhism.They just think that one should follow religion in which he/she born.
They forget that ancestors of more than 90% of sikhs were Hindu's and at one point
they converted to sikhism that's why there descendents are sikhs today.

I don't know who spread this Myth or who spreaded this type of misunderstanding in sikhism

Without going into anti-Hindu territory. I think it was Brahminical sources that persuaded naive Sikhs of this. Sikhs were open and actively accepting converts up to the early 1800s. There are plenty of references by early western witnesses in Panjab to this effect. Sikhism was clearly open to Muslims and Hindus and many converted.

As a person born with a Sikh heritage I would say this to you Caroline. It is true that much Panjabi cultural baggage is linked with Sikhism as practiced by most Sikhs of Panjabi background. In future this should change as the community increasingly diversifies. Be confident and honest to yourself. Believe you me many Sikhs of Panjabi backgrounds are no angels. Call yourself Sikh when you feel it in your heart. Ultimately your judge will be Akal Purakh, not Panjabis!

carolineislands · #7 (**permalink**) 14-Apr-2008, 23:31 PM

Thank you all so much! It really helps to understand a little of the reasons behind my friend's thinking. She is a wonderful person and is extremely caring and nice to people. She is a doctor and does lots of pro bono work in Third World countries and things like that. She really is one of the most wonderful people I know. That's why I was so confused. But now I think I have a little better perception about it. Thank you!

pk70 · #8 (**permalink**) 15-Apr-2008, 06:20 AM

Carolineislands ji

As I said earlier in my previous post, your sincerity is an asset for your goal. This kind of sincerity towards Guru ji, will keep you on the true path you have chosen. I am a strong believer of this that without it, hypocrisy, duality take over the soul. Why do I applaud you? Because very rarely I have found it in the believers.

Anonymous_Kaur · #9 (**permalink**) 15-Apr-2008, 17:20 PM

well we all know wat a sikh is..sikh is a learner..as we are always learning new things about sikhi !! right !!to become a guru;s sikh (gursikh) we shud follow the rehit n obey the orders that are provided by da guru granth sahib ji !! there are many tuks inthe gurbannnii which gives the definition of a truee sikh..there is one "jo satgur ka sikh akahiye..oh tarkke uth har naam thaiyee" srry if i spelleed it rngg !!!