Judging

Originally Posted by carolineislands

Let me start by saying that I am new and have only been reading Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and learning about Sikhi for about a year. So, forgive me if any of my words are offensive. But there is something I have been seeing so much of in these forums that deeply disturbs me. And that is JUDGING.

Pardon me for saying this, but so much of what I hear from Sikhs does not line up with what I read from Guru Nanak. On the one hand I read the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and stories of Guru Nanak's life and I find acceptance of all, all persons have equal value, all religions belong to God, no one is high or low. No distinctions, no rules or judgments about who is right and who is wrong and who is Sikh

Nanak's words are the message to the world, the uplifting and revolutionary message, that attracted you in the first place. Stay close to your intuitions.

and who is not and who is Amritdhara and who is not and who has a right to call themselves Sikh and who does not and who really understands Naam and who doesn't and this and that and this and that. The question, Who is a Sikh? can be debated from many perspectives. Intellectually this debate is very interesting. In practice, in the real world, Sikhs are more often than not puzzled initially that you even know about Sikhism. How did you find out? is the first question. Genuine and respectful curiosity. The second response is to give you some very simplistic information -- stuff you already know -- e.g., Sikh means learner or Sikh means seeker. This is a precious gift if you think about it. It is a Sikh's way of confirming your interest as in "let me move you on this path in the little way that I can. And without being too intrusive or rude" The next steps are more interesting and some of the interactions can be hilarious. At this point some cultural confusion can enter the picture. Final analysis, deep deep within the Sikh psyche is this: You are here among us. We may not reject you for any reason other than the grossest infamy. We will answer any question according to our understanding because of our love for our Guru. "We are proud of You (Guru)" And by the way, did you eat anything yet in the langar hall? Take all of this forum talk with a grain of salt.

To tell the truth my friends, I'm pretty disgusted. Is Sikhi the religion that sprang up out the of message of Guru Nanak ji or isn't it? Is it a competition to see who is really a Sikh and who isn't? What is Sikh anyway? Who has the right to say what human being can impart Naam? Who has the right to say whether another person is a Sikh or not? Who has the right to say who is high and who is low?

Think of all the members who have not posted a word. They may be thinking otherwise and have decided that the conversation is futile, not the questions.

I know a lot of posts that judge are quick to qualify themselves by adding some sort of comment like, "Of course everyone has a right to live how they choose." and then the post goes on to judge that person as though that little disclaimer made it right. Then they go on to declare who does and does not have a right to call themselves this or that or consider themselves this or that. It's heartbreaking -- it really is!

Now I'm judging, of course. And I'm ranting a bit as well. But I really need to talk about this. I am a new Sikh and there are a lot more new Sikhs coming into the community, as well as more and more to come. And it didn't really take me long to realize that I should be careful about how much time I spend reading the posts here because so much of the judging hinders my spiritual development. Several times I have restricted myself from this board in order to focus on the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and the loving message of my Guru because of all the legalism and sectarianism that seems to be going on in the community. And most of it comes from people who have been Sikhs a while, and are even Khalsa! Matter of fact, pardon me for saying so but it seems like Khalsa are the most likely to be judgemental and uppity about their station and to speak down to and about those who are not. Is that supposed to make new Sikhs want to be Khalsa? Because it only makes me want to take more time to come to that place just to make sure I don't have that attitude when I do.

In part there are cultural reasons for this. Believe me, I found out, Patience and Compassion run deeper than judgment.

What is going on? Didn't Guru Nanak make it his life's mission to spread a word of unity and equality and do away with legalism? I fell in love with this message thinking it was something called Sikhism, then I go to Sikh forums and find, what?
Legalism, inequality, judging, sectarianism. This rule and that rule, who can be this because they did that, who can call themselves that because they believe this.

Now, I know some of you will get angry at me and I am sorry for that. But it seems to me that many Sikhs have turned Sikhi into the very thing that Guru Nanak lived his life to do away with.

And honestly, it disheartens me. What is Sikhi -- a bunch of rules and uniforms and people setting themselves up in a position to decide who has naam and who is a real Sikh and this and that by how rigidly they follow the rulebook? Because that seems to me to be in deep conflict with the message of Guru Nanak.

Pardon my presumptuousness. I know I am a new Sikh and have no right to say these things. But I really need to say what I see and hopefully address some of these issues.

Thanks for your patience and understanding and my apologies to any whom I might have offended. I am speaking from the heart and would like to know your heartfelt thoughts as well.

Originally Posted by pk70

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Carolineisland ji

You have a very fine mind. You also have the light given by Guru Nanak ji, keep moving on your path, dont mind the mist.

Originally Posted by amarsanghera

here's my parting shot, something to chew upon

"having no religion does not make a person atheist."