Sexual Intercourse, Need or a Want?

justosh · #1 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 17:34 PM

I wanted to ask this question because the thought arrived to me when i was at my college computer doing course work, and I BECAME hungry, with-out thinking about it.

So then i thought, one does not become aroused, just like i became hungry. With influences of Kaam (lust) around people and because of those influences images form in the mind which lead to one having desires (I have observed people in my class that respond like that, and its around 95% that do).
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/questions-and-answers/38612-sexual-intercourse-need-or-a-want.html

Point being i spontaneously became hungry, but one dose not spontaneously become aroused.......
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

So is it a need or a want?

i understand its a need to start a family, thats fair enough.... but what about these people who say it is a psychological need?

I welcome all faith and beliefs to comment, can be either religious, philosophical or psychological or all of them.

please, if you are going to state facts, can you please put a reference so we all can study it

Thanks

harry haller · #2 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 18:59 PM

I suppose sex could be debated long and hard and very little could be possibly achieved.

Food on a regular basis is essential to survival, sex is not.Once you have enough children, there is no point in having sex other than for procreation. Having said that the closest I feel to my wife is during sex, and that feels more spiritual than fun. The trouble is there are so many different types of sex, just as there different types of food. And do we actually get 'hungry' or do we yearn for a particular type of food, to taste, to devour, if it were hunger alone, surely rice and daal would do fine.

Sex as an expression of love between two people is a wonderful experience. Sex, having paid money for, and taking place in an alleyway stinking of urine is not so.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

In my view, sex remains the closest you can get to another human being, it does not require money, status, finery, just an abundance of love, but like everything we experience,
the majesty has been stripped out of it, and it now represents pleasure, rather than union.

I think if sex is driven by love, union, intimacy, then it is a need, outside of these, it is a want.

justosh · #3 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 19:18 PM

But what about people who feel union with God or a being- that can be possible without sexual intercourse. further more do we need sex to express love and unity?

If i put it this way, when i went India for a month, there was little references to sexual activities hence i found myself thinking about it less- much to the point where i forgot about the influences in the UK, so when i came back to the UK the influences hit me hard, again found myself think about it alot.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

so can one say it has been glorified by society so much that it has become a need?

harry haller · #4 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 19:55 PM

As I said before, sex outside of a loving relationship bears little resemblance to sex within. I find that the sex that one yearns for, lusts after, is predominantly the physical act, rather than the spiritual union, ie, the same way you may be hungry, but want a Big Mac rather than just the sensation of not feeling hungry.

There is a line of thought that union with God is akin to the best orgasm you have ever had, one could even ponder as to whether the spiritual pleasures of loving sex are there to give us an insight into the power of love, the feeling of oneness with another being.

Do we need sex to express love and unity? no, it is the other way round, sex is a medium to express love and unity, just as our hair expresses our love and unity with Creation. Should I grow my hair? Should I have sex? no, first find the love.

The more you write, the more I think you are talking about sex in its most basest act, rather than as a by product of a loving union.

There is a general line of thinking that the way to better sex is variety, to make sex sexier, clothing, fetishes, swinging, orgies, drugs, and those that are not having such sex, are not really living, but such sex leaves you feeling incredibly dirty, it demoralises you, it makes you a slave, and far from enhancing sex, it turns it from something beautiful and pure, into something disgusting and base, it numbs you, so that the rituals that surround the sexual act have to be more and more pronounced in order to get the same effect, it is a one way ticket to the very pit of your brain.But in the materialistic society we live in, the quick fix society, loving sex is seen as quaint and old fashioned.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

I am as guilty as you, even though married, I still have the most sordid thoughts about my wife, I find it disrupts my connection with Creator, I cannot find myself in a state of Naam when I feel like this, it is base and for the self only, however, when I think of us as pure loving souls sharing that love, I find that compatible with a state of Naam, the gold thread of Hukam seems to flow through that action, if anything, to love someone that much, that you can experience such happiness is a blessing from Creator, anything else is just scratching an itch.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

I note you are of a young age, some words of experience, for every sexual experience you have between now, and when you fall deeply in love, you will have more to undo in order to enjoy that love as Creator intended, I am 43 now, and still have not completely made up what I have lost through lust.

Archived_member15 · #5 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 21:03 PM

"...The inner purpose of human sexuality is to regain wholeness and manifest the oneness of God..."
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

- Daniel Chanan Matt (Jewish Zohar translator)

"...The sexual relationship is in reality a thing of great exaltation when it is appropriate and harmonius...Keep this great secret and do not reveal it to anyone unworthy, for here is where you glimpse the secret of the loftiness of an appropriate sexual relationship...When the sexual relation points to the Name, there is nothing more righteous or more holy than it..."

- Moses ben Nahman (1194-1270 AD), Jewish Kabbalist master

Now this part should be be arresting: "When the sexual relation points to the Name, there is nothing more righteous or more holy than it"

Yes NOTHING is holier!

When sex is mutual and self-giving, when the two lovers care not about their own pleasure - solely at least - but about pleasuring the other, then sex can ascend to divine heights. It becomes an act of seva - mutual, self-sacrificing, self-giving love and in the sexual act what you have is not only the unity and harmony of the sexes, but an icon of that Higher unity between God and the soul.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

However many sexual relationships nowadays are based not on self-giving love but rather on lust and the desire, merely, for the sensual pleasure itself rather than sex as an expression of a deep, loving, committed relationship between two people.

Scarlet Pimpernel · #6 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 21:10 PM

gurmqI siB rs Bogdw vfw AwKwVw ]
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612
Through the Guru`s Teachings, I enjoy all the pleasures in the great world-arena.

siB ieMdRIAw vis kir idqIE sqvMqw swVw ] .The True Lord has brought all my senses and organs under my control.

harry haller · #7 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 21:10 PM

Just to throw an interesting dimension into the arena, where does that leave masturbation........?

Scarlet Pimpernel · #8 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 21:19 PM

Quote:

where does that leave masturbation........?

Veer Ji I'm not sure thats what Vouthon meant by describing a

Quote:

self-giving love

Randip Singh · #9 (**permalink**) 05-Jun-2012, 22:54 PM

Look Sikhism talks about Kaam, which is an un-natural obsession with sex. It's about self gratification.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38612

Sex per se is not unnatural and Sikhism does not condemn it as per my understanding.