New to Sikhism, I Have Questions

Hi,

Let me tell you about myself. I'm in a commited relationship with two children. My partner and I are not currently a part of any religion, she enjoys some aspects of buddhism but wouldn't call herself a buddhist. I myself don't lable myself for the most part, but for the sake of it you could say i have agnostic tendencies. I'm interested in possibly becoming Sikh, and my partner - she is supportive and likes some of the values she's read about Sikhism.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/new-to-sikhism/35606-new-to-sikhism-i-have-questions.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35606

My question is how would an unmarried man (which isn't important to me, though we do plan on getting married) with two children (planned ) be accepeted into the Sikh community under these circumstances?

Also I fully intend to let my children grow up and decide on their own belief system, and not make them follow my beliefs.

Thanks

 
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Hi Bunky ji, welcome to SPN. I'm a bit of a junior member here, so others may give you more appropriate advice. But here's my take on things:

1. You say you have agnostic tendancies - what do you mean by this? Do you mean you're generally atheist but sometimes wonder about a higher power? That kind of mindset probably fits OK with most Buddhist traditions, but in Sikhi the entire 1430 pages of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji (scripture) is about (cue wrestling announcer voice) "The One, The Only, The Amaaaaazing Diviiiiniiiiityyyyyy!!". Aka, Waheguru or Universal Creative Force. Without acknowledging that Reality, you can't play the game as a Sikh. This is the number 1 unquestionable part of Sikhi you can never forget.

2. As far as how communities will regard you: it really depends on the community. I've found, Sikhs broadly are accepting of people. Some are unaccepting of some people's lifestyles, and when they gather in groups it's obvious and you get the heck out of there. But more often than not, even if they don't agree with your lifestyle, they'll let it alone because it's none of their business. Especially if you're white (which I assume you are, like me) but it might be different if you've got Indian heritage or are actively engaged in your local Indian culture.

3. You will come up against more argument if you were to consider becoming "baptized", ie. become Khalsa. But that's probably a ways down your track, if at all, and in the meantime there should be nothing stopping you from exploring Sikhi and the Sikh community.

4. Your children... my POV will differ from most here. From my point of view it is very important to raise children with a wonder about the Divine. If you don't have any input into their spiritual development, it's like not watering a plant-- it witheres up and dies and then you end up with children like my step-children who have no believe what so ever in a higher power and focus on materialism exclusively. They've got no sense of anything higher, seem devoid of a desire toward nobel actions or thoughts. That's the way their parents raised them, with no talk of anything spiritual. That's their perogative, but I think it's good to plant the seed and water the sprout. You're not telling them which spiritual plant to grow, but you're not sending the message that spirituality is useless and not to bother about it.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35606
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35606

Just my 2c.

Ishna

If god is considered "a formless force that is above all things and yet preseent in them at the same time" you can call me a believer. Correct if I'm wrong but is that a general/basic concept of god in Sikhism?

That is a good place to be.

Yes, that sounds right to me as a basic statement.

I read this just the other day, how does it fit with you?

Sukhmani Sahib (Peace of Mind) Sri Guru Granth Sahib JiJ Page 292 (Section 22, Stanza 1)

You are the speaker, You are the listener too,
You are both the Single One and the Infinite Expanse.
When You Will, creation is formed,
By Your Will, it is dissolved.
Without You, nothing comes to pass,
Our whole cosmos rests as a bead on Your thread.
Only they whom You enlighten recognize You,
They receive the True Name,
Wise to Your Essence, they see everyone alike,
Says Nanak, they triumph throughout the world.

-- translated by Nikki-Guninder Kaur Singh, in her book The name of my beloved : verses of the Sikh Gurus (I hope it's OK to use her translation like that here admin)

And here is the Gurmukhi and transliteration of the same stanza:


ਆਪਿ ਕਥੈ ਆਪਿ ਸੁਨਨੈਹਾਰੁ ॥
Āp kathai āp sunnaihār.

ਆਪਹਿ ਏਕੁ ਆਪਿ ਬਿਸਥਾਰੁ ॥
Āpėh ek āp bisthār.

ਜਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਤਾ ਸ੍ਰਿਸਟਿ ਉਪਾਏ ॥
Jā ṯis bẖāvai ṯā sarisat upā▫e.

ਆਪਨੈ ਭਾਣੈ ਲਏ ਸਮਾਏ ॥
Āpnai bẖāṇai la▫e samā▫e.

ਤੁਮ ਤੇ ਭਿੰਨ ਨਹੀ ਕਿਛੁ ਹੋਇ ॥
Ŧum ṯe bẖinn nahī kicẖẖ ho▫e.

ਆਪਨ ਸੂਤਿ ਸਭੁ ਜਗਤੁ ਪਰੋਇ ॥
Āpan sūṯ sabẖ jagaṯ paro▫e.

ਜਾ ਕਉ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਜੀਉ ਆਪਿ ਬੁਝਾਏ ॥
Jā ka▫o parabẖ jī▫o āp bujẖā▫e.

ਸਚੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਸੋਈ ਜਨੁ ਪਾਏ ॥
Sacẖ nām so▫ī jan pā▫e.

ਸੋ ਸਮਦਰਸੀ ਤਤ ਕਾ ਬੇਤਾ ॥
So samaḏrasī ṯaṯ kā beṯā.

It might not speak to you the same way it speaks to me, but I put it out there, you might be inspired by it like I am.

What have you learned about Sikhi, Bunky, which brings you here?

Ish

Ishna ji, SPN does not have a rule about what translation to use.

My personal reaction? You are now in the top 10 percent in my book because you did use the translation of Nikki Gurninder Kaur ji.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35606

So few people know of her work. All that she translates fits with the "sense" not the literality of Professor Sahib Singh. I checked this myself systematically. In other words, she studied his interpretations and then translated accordingly....but with her own insight and in her own voice. That is what a translator is supposed to do, in any language and for any literary form.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35606

Let you in on a secret. I have myself been panned badly for quoting her work. So what! People who do that...it is their loss.

I am very happy you found that book and that it made an impression on you!

The Sikh view on all things is that what ever we do we do it infront of everyone. We don't hide away. we have a duty to ourselves and to society.

In this respect marriage is seen as a public affirmation that we take each other and that we have nothing to hide.

On a spirtual level, the actual act of marriage is seen as fomalising the union of two souls.

Marriage for a Sikh is very different from the Abrahamic sense, which is seen by many feminists as a form a bondage and more to do with property that a union of souls.

So would I be frowned upon?

My Ms's does not intend to convert.

I'm looking for a community to belong to. Sikhism is what i'm investigating, I agree with their definition of a Force/God or what have you. I believe it will be good for my mental health.

i investigated lots of beliefs in my early 20's and none of them really stuck, I like the Sikhism promotes living the faith as opposed to rituals and idol worship etc...