Sikh Man, English Girlfriend, Need Advice About My Family

ecpcsb · #1 (**permalink**) 27-Nov-2011, 21:58 PM

I'm 40 years old and was married for 7 years to a sikh girl. We got divorced 3 years ago.

About 18 months I met an english lady, we fell in love and now we're living together with her 13 year daughter. My family know about this, and seem to be ok about it. I see my mum and dad regularly, and we talk about my girlfriend and her daughter, but they've never met them.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/love-and-marriage/37659-sikh-man-english-girlfriend-need-advice.html

I think mum and dad realise how bad my marriage was, and I guess they just want me to be happy. Everyone in my family know about my situation, and so far I've had no negative comments directly to my face, but I don't know what may be said behind my back.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37659

I love my girlfriend, and am so happy, never felt like this before. But she is understandably getting upset because she has never met my family.

I just want a normal happy life, I dont want to have to live 2 lives anymore. I just dont know how to approach this with my parents. My family are modern, they're not particularly religious, but I know deep down they would love me to meet another indian girl and get married. I was so hurt after my divorce, I just dont trust indian girls anymore.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Kanwaljit Singh · #2 (**permalink**) 28-Nov-2011, 02:37 AM

Xmas is coming, good time to invite them over for dinner and merge the lives!

lionsingh · #3 (**permalink**) 28-Nov-2011, 03:31 AM

I love my girlfriend, and am so happy

You havent mentioned any problems you have with your lady in a religious sense. I presume you have a British passport and are an English Sikh ? Perhaps the title of your question should have been English man who has met a lady who loves a Sikh ?

I married a German and have a 17year old great kid (hee hee see my avatar).

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37659
Introduce her as a special friend first of all...I am sure the will be welcoming. I dont think you have to say it directly in one go, perhaps introduce her as a work colleague....
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37659

In the end you are in love. In the end they can only gain a daughter than lose a son. I presume you want to develop this relationship more, then that is what you should do.

From your own words IT IS CLEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!! You dont need our advice...just listen to your own words. CARPE DIEM brother.

harry haller · #4 (**permalink**) 28-Nov-2011, 18:02 PM

I had a similar problem, let your parents see how happy you are together, they will be fine, the only problem is whether you can all move away from the izzat issue, provided your family put more emphasis on family happiness than izzat, you won't have a problem, although it does some getting used to, especially the sight of a 6ft 20 year old englishman tucking into cholay poori with lassi with a huge beam on his face, but there you go, Its all Creation, bourne of Creator