Dissapointed with life

solidsnoop29 · #1 (**permalink**) 01-Jun-2009, 04:36 AM

Hi, and sat sri akal everyone.

I have been on this site for years, but I have registered with a completly new username. I thought this was a good place to post my issues. I really like getting involved in my culture and religion, as it teaches me about life and how to cope with problems as a human being.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/general-discussion/25228-dissapointed-with-life.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25228

The thing is, I just feel as if I have messed up life alot. Not sure if this is the suitable place to come up with this thread, but I really feel like sharing my problems. The thing is, I believe that as a British Indian, I have been brought up to acknowledge education as something important in life. The problem is, I am currently going to a low standard University (University of Hertfordshire), and I feel that I have messed up my education career. I kind of regret what I've done, and I feel Life is a struggle. I see people going to high standard universities like City univerity, Kings College, oxford, Royal Halloway, I just feel as if I have let myself down.

I am currently retaking my 2nd year at university, and I just feel like takking out all of my frustrations here. Is there anyone who has been in this situation, I would like to discuss.

dalsingh · #2 (**permalink**) 01-Jun-2009, 05:31 AM

First thing is well done for having got to uni in the first place! Many haven't. Seriously, you should remember that everyday.

I think you are doing a good thing now - even better if you change it slightly to make it about reflecting on how you could improve for the future. Find better study techniques through experimenting. Make different study buddies.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25228
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25228

Don't think you have messed up your life. Because you haven't. You are still young an have much to experience and learn. Very few people go through life just doing everthing right.

This is just a phase of your life, ultimately you will pass it and move onto different things. Be positive, keep trying, never gve up. See this as an opportunity to learn how to face challenges. Have faith inyourself and our Gurus. If you truly make the effort, I'm sure they will carry you the rest of the way.

Soul_jyot · #3 (**permalink**) 01-Jun-2009, 05:32 AM

"Comparisons are a greased slope into a pit of guilt, envy, anger or feelings of inferiority and intimidation."

More fundamentally, comparisons fail to honor the uniqueness of each person's path in life. Just think of all that's unique about you and the path you've walked! The universe -- or your higher power, if you have one -- never asks you to be anybody but you.

Fortunately, you can break free of comparisons. Here are five simple strategies you can start using today:

1. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25228
This strategy is preventive. Look inside, and give yourself credit for your accomplishments and positive character traits. You might even mark in your calendar reminders to pause and recognize the heart, intelligence, imagination and integrity you bring to living life your way.

Start now: What can you give yourself credit for today?

2. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.
This is another preventive tactic to build your comparison "immunity." Cultivating an awareness of all the blessings of your life can take the sting out of seeing how others are blessed.

You might enjoy counting your blessings in a "gratitude journal," or review the best parts of your day as you fall asleep. You might even count your blessings before you get out of bed in the morning.

Give it a try. How many blessings can you call to mind in the next 60 seconds?
The next three strategies can help in the moment when you have a "comparison emergency."

3. EXHALE.
When you notice that you're comparing yourself to someone else, bring your attention to your breathing. Then, on an exhale, let the comparison leave your body with your breath. It's amazing how a well-timed exhale can create space for serenity and perspective.

Once you've blown the comparison away, you might ask yourself, “Is this where I want to put my energy today?”

4. RECOGNIZE LOSSES.
Other people's accomplishments may remind you of goals you have set aside. Maybe you've deferred or even given up hopes and dreams from earlier, simpler times in your life.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25228

Be kind to yourself, and take time to acknowledge these losses. Create a ritual or find some other way to give voice to your grief so that you can move forward in healing.

5. SHIFT INTO A PERSPECTIVE OF GRATITUDE.
Take a couple deep cleansing breaths, letting any tension in your body leave on the outbreath. Now, see if you can shift into a perspective of gratitude.

Practice this strategy by bringing to mind a "comparison trigger" from the past -- maybe your ex-significant-other's new girlfriend, or the obnoxious alpha-parent you met on the preschool playground. Notice how relaxing and healing the perspective of gratitude feels.

YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CAREER ARE UNIQUE. As you lovingly attend more and more to your own life and values, you can leave the comparison trap far behind.

source: Never Compare Yourself - The Comparison Trap

PERSONAL NOTE:

1. Please do consider very carefully to seek professional help ( from your doctor / counselor, etc )
2. Daily meditation for at least 20 minutes is the key for you !
3. THE SIKH WAY = SEVA + SIMRAN + SANGAT !

With Divine Love & Blessings of Waheguru Ji ,

Harbhajan S. Sangha