VikramSingh4er
SPNer
- Jun 25, 2023
- 1
- 0
- 29
WaheguruJi,
So I am 28 year old man and have a turbaned father. My parents have Singh and Kaur by names but we are not strongly into Sikhism. My father has done tobacco abuse over years and my uncle (mother’s brother) died of addiction as well.
I have last name Singh, I am Roda (Mona) and never been strongly into Sikhi. I lost my faith over years living in a toxic family and I don’t know how to describe how I feel.
I don’t even know if should call myself a Sikh anymore, I don’t do prayers (I suffered from physical and sexual abuse as a kid and lost my faith). Owing to my father I developed negative image of turbaned men.
I am ashamed of myself of not living up to Sikhi, but at the same time I don’t feel it from inside. Also, me being from lower caste and poor home did not help either. I wish someone reached out to me as a kid when I was suffering abuse.
I don’t know how to define my relationship with Sikhi cause I have never been recognized as a Sikh either and always felt looked down in Gurdwaras as a person who cut his hair.
I have moved to US and I am a scientist now. I don’t identify with Khalistan movement and I am proud of Indian heritage. I am proud of Sikh history but I am also fascinated with other empires of India.
I know I might not be making sense, but I want to begin my spiritual journey and I don’t know where to begin with.
Vikram Singh
So I am 28 year old man and have a turbaned father. My parents have Singh and Kaur by names but we are not strongly into Sikhism. My father has done tobacco abuse over years and my uncle (mother’s brother) died of addiction as well.
I have last name Singh, I am Roda (Mona) and never been strongly into Sikhi. I lost my faith over years living in a toxic family and I don’t know how to describe how I feel.
I don’t even know if should call myself a Sikh anymore, I don’t do prayers (I suffered from physical and sexual abuse as a kid and lost my faith). Owing to my father I developed negative image of turbaned men.
I am ashamed of myself of not living up to Sikhi, but at the same time I don’t feel it from inside. Also, me being from lower caste and poor home did not help either. I wish someone reached out to me as a kid when I was suffering abuse.
I don’t know how to define my relationship with Sikhi cause I have never been recognized as a Sikh either and always felt looked down in Gurdwaras as a person who cut his hair.
I have moved to US and I am a scientist now. I don’t identify with Khalistan movement and I am proud of Indian heritage. I am proud of Sikh history but I am also fascinated with other empires of India.
I know I might not be making sense, but I want to begin my spiritual journey and I don’t know where to begin with.
Vikram Singh