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Just Hold That Conclusion For A Moment

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
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Animal life is good, its free, I can breathe again, the savage in me is taking over, human functions, understanding, and that word I can barely bring myself to spit out 'love' are receding fast, I feel good about it, the more savage I become, not only in attitude, but in look, the more free I feel, free from constraints, from boundaries, from worry, from fear, I have lost something that gave me enormous happiness, and brought me immense sadness, my heart, and my love for people, but then, I lost that years ago, whatever few shreds of humanity that existed are gone, I really could not give a flying {censored} about the world, the environment, people, I have not been out in days, other than the 4am drop off at the all night UPS access point, to drop off parcels and stock up on toblerones and red bull, I keep leaving the volvo unlocked, but I am dismayed every morning to find it still sitting there on the road, with its stupid smug look on its face, its not what I am used to, it has not broken down once yet,

And then someone has to ruin it, someone always has to ruin it,

The answers to these questions are all subjective. My personal answers are that the world should be just and compassionate. The small things include tender moments with loved ones and the joy of feeling the first drops of the first rain of the season. The big picture includes the environmental degradation of the Earth, the creeping threat of a technological police state and the eventual death of the planet.

Thanks Rick for your answer, an animal can laugh and mock at a lot of things, certainly, everything in life is a bad joke, and everything can and should be mocked and laughed at, for that is the animal way, nothing is holy, and nothing is precious, yet, that answer encapsulates perfectly what humanity is, what feeling human represents, what peace represents, it is a statement that is impossible to mock, or even to laugh at, what is bravery? is it killing the heart, or is that in fact cowardice? Is becoming base and savage brave? or is it running away? I don't know, I really don't know, all I know is that those words burned in my head most of the night, ruined my sleep and gave me nightmares, I cannot get away from the conclusion that retaining ones humanity is the bravest thing above everything else,

hopefully, I will find something to mock and laugh at in that statement, maybe I am just not feeling myself
 

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