Japuji Sahib In English Poetry

This is to bring to your kind notice that I have posted Japuji Sahib in English poetry. I have relied on the work of Prof.Sahib Singhs Guru Granth Darpan. I would like to know your comments on my work which you will find in the website: Japji Sahib

 

Veer Ji,

That's a very bold step you have taken.
I have thought of this kind of thing about 25 years ago but nobody accepted it.

I will definitely help you improve on the rhyming part, if you accept my offer.:yes:

 

Kuldip Singh Lamba Jio

I read it up to Verse 111, then I stopped since I found what you wrote is not even close to the meaning interpreted by many as I agree with them. humbly recommend, revise it. I went through translation effort, still working and revising, and do not feel satisfied. Jap ji is written in so compact form, many scholars admit they might have missed Guru message. After having said that, I applaud your effort and sincerity. Thanks.

 

I read your comments long, long ago but I had no means to reply to your comments. If you consider properly the rendering I have made of Gurbni, japji Sahib you will find it is in consonance with the translation by Sardar Sahib Singh Ji. In "author's note" I have said that there are additions and omissions but the essence of bani is there. The additions you will findthem I have given them in italics.
A reader can learn what the essence is and what it denotes.
I request you to please apply your mind in a way you catch the meaning of my work 'the rendering of Japji Sahib in English Rhyme'
The work is by me and I had used GP Lamba's Mail ID.

Palaingtha (Kuldip Singh Lamba)

 

I agree that there may be shortcomings in my (Not Translation) rendering of japji Sahib in English Rhyme but to make improvements may be difficult. It is only possible that the stanza which is found lacking in conveying correct meaning is re-written in English Rhyme.
Anyway, thanks for the very kind offer.
I am to inform you that the author of the work is not GP Lamba. I had used my son's E Mail ID to ask comments from a Sardar Sahib of Sikh Net.