Hi, don't know if this is the right place to post this, and i don't want inconviniences and I respect the boards, i have nothing against it, but i thougt there might be some people who may be able to help. Basically, i haver this problem, and its really depressing. From the ages of 8 to 20, i have had a problem and addiction of self abuse...masturbation. Thats right, the 'M' word. Scientists says there is nothing wrong with this habbit, but let me tell you my story at the moment. From the age of 8 i had started this vice. Up to now (20 years of age), it has ruined my life, my self respect, my confidence, its jsut really really really depressing. I have got this spacey cold/warm feeling inside my head, i can't describe, i feel s empty, so dirty, so abused, i feel like killing myself. I felt like exploding it is like living in hell. My mind feels empty, as if i am trying to find myself, but i cant... Its so depressing, it ruins my life, i spend the whole day just looking on wrong websites (webcam sites) and just masturbating. I spend the whole night 12 am to atleast 3:30 am, looking and satisfying myself, i cant help it... i start to gforget about the after affects and just carry on this vice in the morning, when i should be sleeping like everyone else. I feel as if something is wrong with me. As soon as i am done doing this vice, i feel as if i have lost vital body substances, i feel as if i have shrunk to a 9 year old kid, this empty depressive sensation inside me, it kills me, pains me...really hard to describe, i have excessive mucus in my throat, and it smells bad, every day i am living with excessive mucus, i feel like killing myself, my legs feel weak, i feel as if i am not growing, my body fluids are getting wasted... i feelboiling hot every time, my heart is always beating fast...and sometimes i feel as if i can do anything, (OVER HAPPY), and its not norla, but more importatnly, i feel empty and if i have lost alot of important life energy that was inside me, being thrown away being wasted..Please give me advice, is there anyone here who has this problem, i am 20 years of age.. Please dont take it wrong that i have posted this on this website, i am of the same religion, and i was hoping what it says in the guru granth sahib ji i feel like im being killed every day...its destroying me this bad habbit, i could have done so much throughout the age of 10 to 20, i could have gone to a better university, this habbit has destroyed me, the reason i carry on doing thids habit is because i know i wont find any cure to fix the current diseases illness i get after doing masturbation. Its too much to bare this depressive feeling, i feel as if a big load of weight has been taken of from my back...as if i am not growing.