Colleagues From Hell. (season 2) . Did Any Of You Ever Face Like This As Well ?

[Seeker2013]

I thought it would all get better. But I guess I was wrong. Despite the guru warning me that
the name of waheguru is the only true friend , I still thought worldly people who sit next to me 9 hours daily wouldn't disappoint me .

But it seems like no matter what I do , they still will put the blame on me.

So this sunday, surprisingly , they added me in that old whatsapp group again, despite me not asking them. However, like it happened past 3-4 times , it would only be a matter of time before they made me feel so unwelcome that I left it voluntarily.

I asked them to add me in the boy's group . What do they do there ? I don't know, some say its full of porn gifs , but one of them commented "First develop like a boy" .
To him I reply back "saala (milder expletive in india), first you develop your personality and your torn voice".

He calls me in the night and over the phone starts with all expletives on mothers and sisters and threatening to beat the hell out of me in office next day and all sort of expletives.
Little did he knew each call in my phone gets recorded automatically. I didn't throw expletive back to him.
My mom overheard this and got hyper . She said she will take the recording evidence and take it to my boss . I requested her not to , as this would make me look like an immature kid who ropes in his parents"

However my mom dad went next day. Its said my dad also gave him nice beating over the phone.
He was humiliated greatly.

Now , it seems like many other think it was all my fault.

When I enter cafetaria for a cup of tea, some of them left from their tables , thinking I would like to sit with them. Others try to imply I am the one who's at fault and I should have kept my mouth shut.

My question is this :

Why is it that if I hurt someone with a feather , everyone tries to make me feel guilty.
And if a person throws abuses at me, these same people couldn't care less.

I called out to them on their bias ! But it made me wonder are there any real friends at all (except name of god ofcourse) ?
I am really disappointed in people and this favoritism .

I still can't understand why ? is it because I have a turban on my head or they think I am gay ?
It ever happened to you ?

 

[Sikhilove]

I thought it would all get better. But I guess I was wrong. Despite the guru warning me that
the name of waheguru is the only true friend , I still thought worldly people who sit next to me 9 hours daily wouldn't disappoint me .

But it seems like no matter what I do , they still will put the blame on me.

So this sunday, surprisingly , they added me in that old whatsapp group again, despite me not asking them. However, like it happened past 3-4 times , it would only be a matter of time before they made me feel so unwelcome that I left it voluntarily.

I asked them to add me in the boy's group . What do they do there ? I don't know, some say its full of porn gifs , but one of them commented "First develop like a boy" .
To him I reply back "saala (milder expletive in india), first you develop your personality and your torn voice".

He calls me in the night and over the phone starts with all expletives on mothers and sisters and threatening to beat the hell out of me in office next day and all sort of expletives.
Little did he knew each call in my phone gets recorded automatically. I didn't throw expletive back to him.
My mom overheard this and got hyper . She said she will take the recording evidence and take it to my boss . I requested her not to , as this would make me look like an immature kid who ropes in his parents"

However my mom dad went next day. Its said my dad also gave him nice beating over the phone.
He was humiliated greatly.

Now , it seems like many other think it was all my fault.

When I enter cafetaria for a cup of tea, some of them left from their tables , thinking I would like to sit with them. Others try to imply I am the one who's at fault and I should have kept my mouth shut.

My question is this :

Why is it that if I hurt someone with a feather , everyone tries to make me feel guilty.
And if a person throws abuses at me, these same people couldn't care less.

I called out to them on their bias ! But it made me wonder are there any real friends at all (except name of god ofcourse) ?
I am really disappointed in people and this favoritism .

I still can't understand why ? is it because I have a turban on my head or they think I am gay ?
It ever happened to you ?

Brother,

I have had a lot of problems with collegues and friends and family in general over the years.

Waheguru really is your true friend. Gurbani says that the Gurmukh may laugh and make merry with manmukhs, but that there can be no real bond with them. Bhagats are of the same, our hearts open to one another. You love God, I love God, we're of the same and my hearts open to you.

You don't need to deal with them. Just stay True to yourself and all around you. You've complained which was a good thing, although your parents did it for you. Sikhs fight for justice and have self respect for God flows through and works through you, as his lover.

We're supposed to get along with everyone but if they don't want to get along with you, that's their problem not yours. If they slander you, remember, we are Nothing, and we are Him and He is us, so love and respect yourself for you are His vessel and associate with people who have respect for you.

You're blessed you need not associate with people who are bad to you, they've failed tests, you're better off without them. You can still teach them but people can only learn if they're willing to listen and willing to learn.

Don't be surprised or upset, humans are losers, they fail to see past their egos and fear and recognise the master who is beyond ego and fear.

 

[Seeker2013]

But all I am asking is
Why this bias ? Who is at fault ? me or the guy who called me and verbally abused me and threatened to beat me up.
And why rest of people sympathized with him and not me ?
like I am left wondering WTH ?!

 

[Pathfinder]

Have you seen God?. I said - no. Do you believe I'm hell? I said no again. Look at me charlie he yelled. I am your God for the next three years and I swear I will make it an unbearable hell for you, Do you get it.?. Aye sir, I get you.

That was my first Mate at sea, my first day as a cadet. Three years and so many humorous incidents of torture later the same Mate recommended me strongly.

Who is your God?. God is in you, in me, in us - sir, I answered three years later when questioned as we sat in a diner. Your cadetship is over so answer me as a friend he smiled at me. We all are manifestations of him i stated. We ended up visiting the Gurudwara later. You guys are tough he admitted. I said that i too was we and him too. There is no you or them, its just we. I was a second in command of his years later.

Three years as a cadet was rough, we were put through various breaking situations to test our resolve as I learnt later. It was really hell in a way. But you know - the more I was tested, the stronger my resolve grew. The tougher I became. I was told I would cry and break down and maybe wish or jump into the sea out of desperation to end the pain, humiliation soon. Yes, i broke down at times, I cried but I befriended king Neptune. I poured out my grief to him. He spoke back to me at times and told me that if I wanted to rule his domain I would have to be tough, not run to his lap in tears.

React as unexpected and it throws one off guard. When they ignore you you still smile at them, wish them with a smile. Join a group that you grow in, visit here, post here if you feel weak. But, don't let them define who you are. When they abuse you, just ignore and ask Waheguru to forgive them.

Imagine you are a sailor at sea and I have yet to meet a soft Mate, one who treats you well. They are your trainers and doing a good job at helping you control your anger and frustration.

They more they push you down, the more you stand taller. The more they try making you cry, the more you laugh. Let them realise that they cannot affect the way you feel. Stay happy when around them. This will knock their socks off.

Stop wanting to be a part of them.you are too good to deserve second best. Don't seek their defination of who you should be. Dont look at yourself through their eyes. When alone drown yourself in simran and positive thoughts. Let the new you be non-reactive, happy and comfortable in your own skin.

What you are is what you feel. So build a tough new you. It's not tough to be tough we believe at sea. You just need to start believing you are. You become what you believe.

Bullies feast on easy pickings, they pick on you because you let them, nothing to do with being a gay.

You wear a turban. Then how do you let a bunch of bullies dominate and beat you down, no - that's not fair. You are stronger than them, far stronger - if you only believe and act like one.

So, chin up charlie. Strap on those boots, smile like you feel sorry for these losers. Don't abuse them back - say softly - Waheguru guide me and take them head on. You want respect, you earn it the hard way. Just remember, all you have to do is remember that you are tough, tougher, toughest.

Lol, easier said than done you would say but I have been there, done that and emerged stronger. So will you soon.

Best of luck in this test of life, do well like i know, we know you can, will and must.

There are a lot of king Neptune's out here if you need some heart and soul talk.

Aye, so, go ahead and make us proud, most important - make yourself proud.

Remember, nobody, Nobody can bully you - period - and walk away Scot free except with guilt in their soul. That is not possible, no, it's mission impossible, lol.

 

[Sikhilove]

But all I am asking is
Why this bias ? Who is at fault ? me or the guy who called me and verbally abused me and threatened to beat me up.
And why rest of people sympathized with him and not me ?
like I am left wondering WTH ?!

Because humans are primitive. When you become Gods devotee and step on the path of truth, of self realisation, many don't like it. At the same time, don't set yourself up to be bullied.

Don't react in anger. As Pathfinder said, toughen up, once people realise you can't be messed with they'll very likely stop trying, and if they do try, theyll likely end up feeling stupid.

Stay true to yourself, and your true self is the toughest of the tough, the strongest of the strong, the most loving of the loving, kindest of the kind and lowest of the low. When u accept yourself as Nothing, Nothing can stick to you, no slander can effect you.

You are truly amazing because He works through you so start having a bit of self respect and stop letting primitive beings get to you.

Let Him work through you.

 

[RD1]

But all I am asking is
Why this bias ? Who is at fault ? me or the guy who called me and verbally abused me and threatened to beat me up.
And why rest of people sympathized with him and not me ?
like I am left wondering WTH ?!

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Unfortunately, a situation has developed where you are the one who is singled out and bullied. Since it appears everyone is a part of the bullying, the other guy gets all the sympathy because he is "one" of "them" (the bullies). You are not. You have been dehumanized and reduced. You are expected to take the crap, and stay inferior so the others can collectively get their kicks.

In addition, it is easier for them to blame you, than blame themselves for perpetuating this nasty situation.

If you are the one that is most different (e.g.: wearing turban), then unfortunately you become an easy target - this is what bullies do - look for the one they see as different or "weak" and team up against them. And also, sometimes the bullies are actually jealous of the ones they bully.

But you are not weak. Don't care about what they think - as hard as it may be. Hang in there. Stand up for yourself - in an assertive but non-aggressive manner. Speak to HR. You don't deserve workplace harassment.

 

[Seeker2013]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Unfortunately, a situation has developed where you are the one who is singled out and bullied. Since it appears everyone is a part of the bullying, the other guy gets all the sympathy because he is "one" of "them" (the bullies). You are not. You have been dehumanized and reduced. You are expected to take the crap, and stay inferior so the others can collectively get their kicks.

In addition, it is easier for them to blame you, than blame themselves for perpetuating this nasty situation.

If you are the one that is most different (e.g.: wearing turban), then unfortunately you become an easy target - this is what bullies do - look for the one they see as different or "weak" and team up against them. And also, sometimes the bullies are actually jealous of the ones they bully.

But you are not weak. Don't care about what they think - as hard as it may be. Hang in there. Stand up for yourself - in an assertive but non-aggressive manner. Speak to HR. You don't deserve workplace harassment.

They haven't dehumanized or bullied me , in reality ! For real, they've bullied themselves and dehumanized themselves only
What we do unto others happens to us .
They sowed cactus, they will reap thorns too . Will they remember me when they're having a down time in the rollercoaster of life.

 

[Sikhilove]

They haven't dehumanized or bullied me , in reality ! For real, they've bullied themselves and dehumanized themselves only
What we do unto others happens to us .
They sowed cactus, they will reap thorns too . Will they remember me when they're having a down time in the rollercoaster of life.

Nice post

Gurbani says that slanderers hold the weight of their sins on their own heads, when someone slanders someone else, they automatically dive into a hellish state of mind, ( and connecting with hell realms).

Be in chardi kala, for even your colleagues are your Master. Humans are primitive, this may sound harsh, but as long as one puts the false ego before Truth, and makes ego the master, not Truth, one will serve maya.

Toughen up as RD1 said before, become untouchable, the bit about you not having been bullied would only ring true if you didn't let their primitivity get to you. Don't set yourself up to be bullied, by being strong and having unshakable self belief and self confidence.