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Sikh Boy Muslim Girl Want to Marry - Please Help (No hate)

Ayah_2023

SPNer
Apr 5, 2023
4
0
32
I am 31 year old Muslim woman from the UK, I am a professional and have been independent for a long time. I have met people of my own background and faith but never felt it was right and I never wanted to settle with just anyone for the sake of getting married or giving into social pressure. I've met a Sikh man who isn't practicing but is very inclined to his faith as I am to mine. We both find ourselves in 'love'. We both believe in our respective faiths as they have been our light during our own tough times and do not wish to impose on the other, I myself am practicing and hence why find it even more confusing finding myself in this position. I never thought this would happen, we are not sixteen - young or dumb and are aware it is a challenge.

We both quickly realise that we want to be together and get married. Our outlook, views, values, experiences, wishes and spiritual views are very compatible and we make each other laugh and are able to have tough conversations without breaking down or being rude or disrespectful. I find he is such a compassionate, generous, kind and strong soul, the kind of man I have been praying for to complete me. We both don't believe in fairy tales but this feels very natural for us and the only thing holding us back is religion.

His family are quiet open and liberal, he loves Sikhi and I love Islam and he doesn't want me to change but I am scared of what will happen. I've been trying to find similar situations and to see if it works, to stop myself from going crazy and thinking I will go to hell If I do this. I do want a marriage and a nikah - a blessing and in my heart I believe Allah is everyone's God, our language or colour might be different but If you open us up, we all have the same organs and heart. How can our Creator therefore be different then? I am happy to go Gudwara too as I find Islam itself and Sikhism - if you put aside the politics, propaganda and ignorance of people - are the same in their message and at their core and preach the same morals and ideas. I do not want to convert and neither would he want me to. And deep down even though it would be easier if he was Muslim, I respect and love him for who he is and the person he is, is partly because of his deep love for Sikhi and i admire that.

I feel he is my better half and he believes I am his. We compliment each other and find peace in each other, peace like I have never known before from a human. I have experienced some extremley tough times in life but God always showed me a light at the end and allowed me to become resilient and overcome the challenges. I cannot believe he would get me to this point and allow me to meet this man for it to be something I would have to sacrifice. I believe God is love - in meeting him, I thought this is what God says marriage and love should be - it says our spouses are like 'garments' for us and sent down for us so we can find 'tranquility' in them... to me even though I am Muslim and he is Sikh, he is a believer as we both believe in One God, love, humanity, compassion, seveh - charity work, kindess and in working hard and doing our best.

I guess I am just afraid, even in 2023 of what people may say and esp becuase my family or community won't accept him if he doesn't convert - hell my family will still not accept him. I find myself in conflict within myself.

Any advice will be appreciated. Please do not share any hatred or right wing views, neither my Prophet pbuh or Guru Nanak Ji ever bashed another faith or person, in fact that openly sat amongst everyone and preached love and guided people to their own goodness and consciousness. Please be respectful.

Thanking you in advance.
A seeking soul - Ayah.
 

swarn bains

Poet
SPNer
Apr 8, 2012
774
187
Love is godly. Emperor Akbar built a hindu temple in his palace for his hindu queen jodha by. if you guys do not interfere with others faith then as they say love begets love. go ahead but do not force the other to convert. good luck
 

A_seeker

Writer
SPNer
Jun 6, 2018
277
63
39
I am 31 year old Muslim woman from the UK, I am a professional and have been independent for a long time. I have met people of my own background and faith but never felt it was right and I never wanted to settle with just anyone for the sake of getting married or giving into social pressure. I've met a Sikh man who isn't practicing but is very inclined to his faith as I am to mine. We both find ourselves in 'love'. We both believe in our respective faiths as they have been our light during our own tough times and do not wish to impose on the other, I myself am practicing and hence why find it even more confusing finding myself in this position. I never thought this would happen, we are not sixteen - young or dumb and are aware it is a challenge.

We both quickly realise that we want to be together and get married. Our outlook, views, values, experiences, wishes and spiritual views are very compatible and we make each other laugh and are able to have tough conversations without breaking down or being rude or disrespectful. I find he is such a compassionate, generous, kind and strong soul, the kind of man I have been praying for to complete me. We both don't believe in fairy tales but this feels very natural for us and the only thing holding us back is religion.

His family are quiet open and liberal, he loves Sikhi and I love Islam and he doesn't want me to change but I am scared of what will happen. I've been trying to find similar situations and to see if it works, to stop myself from going crazy and thinking I will go to hell If I do this. I do want a marriage and a nikah - a blessing and in my heart I believe Allah is everyone's God, our language or colour might be different but If you open us up, we all have the same organs and heart. How can our Creator therefore be different then? I am happy to go Gudwara too as I find Islam itself and Sikhism - if you put aside the politics, propaganda and ignorance of people - are the same in their message and at their core and preach the same morals and ideas. I do not want to convert and neither would he want me to. And deep down even though it would be easier if he was Muslim, I respect and love him for who he is and the person he is, is partly because of his deep love for Sikhi and i admire that.

I feel he is my better half and he believes I am his. We compliment each other and find peace in each other, peace like I have never known before from a human. I have experienced some extremley tough times in life but God always showed me a light at the end and allowed me to become resilient and overcome the challenges. I cannot believe he would get me to this point and allow me to meet this man for it to be something I would have to sacrifice. I believe God is love - in meeting him, I thought this is what God says marriage and love should be - it says our spouses are like 'garments' for us and sent down for us so we can find 'tranquility' in them... to me even though I am Muslim and he is Sikh, he is a believer as we both believe in One God, love, humanity, compassion, seveh - charity work, kindess and in working hard and doing our best.

I guess I am just afraid, even in 2023 of what people may say and esp becuase my family or community won't accept him if he doesn't convert - hell my family will still not accept him. I find myself in conflict within myself.

Any advice will be appreciated. Please do not share any hatred or right wing views, neither my Prophet pbuh or Guru Nanak Ji ever bashed another faith or person, in fact that openly sat amongst everyone and preached love and guided people to their own goodness and consciousness. Please be respectful.

Thanking you in advance.
A seeking soul - Ayah.
You need to visit a Premarital counselling for Help. Members of this forum are no expertise in this field. All the Best
 

Ayah_2023

SPNer
Apr 5, 2023
4
0
32
AYAH: I find your choice is based on Love which has no Barriers of religion, and other burdens of culture. If U are comfortable with his faith in Sikhi, go ahead and enjoy the Bliss of married life.
Thank you... I guess it is hard because I do believe we are all originated from only One True Creator and we both believe that, I'm just scared as to how it would work in the long run as I am a practicing woman and would never want to feel like I've betrayed my faith or teachings. And I do believe God is love and this shouldn't be something forbidden or difficult if we both believe in the same God and just want to be good people and live a peaceful life. Thank you for your time.
 

Ayah_2023

SPNer
Apr 5, 2023
4
0
32
Love is godly. Emperor Akbar built a hindu temple in his palace for his hindu queen jodha by. if you guys do not interfere with others faith then as they say love begets love. go ahead but do not force the other to convert. good luck
I hear this. Thank you.
 

Logical Sikh

Writer
SPNer
Sep 22, 2018
277
66
26
Thank you... I guess it is hard because I do believe we are all originated from only One True Creator and we both believe that, I'm just scared as to how it would work in the long run as I am a practicing woman and would never want to feel like I've betrayed my faith or teachings. And I do believe God is love and this shouldn't be something forbidden or difficult if we both believe in the same God and just want to be good people and live a peaceful life. Thank you for your time.
Imo, if you want to test how it would go in a long run, you mgiht talk to your partner about how you'd want to raise your future generation/kids .....
That'll open door for a lot of insightful conversation.....
 

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