Hi everyone. I'm a 19 year old boy. I keep my hair, I have a non trimmed beard. but the funny thing is i don't believe in god. I don't want to spark any religious debates as to weather or not god exists but lately I've found myself quite depressed. My belief in God became weaker and weaker, but please don't convince me there is a god and that Sikhism is true, that's a totally different debate and perhaps we can debate on that about another topic. the fact is in my heart I am not a Sikh. I wouldn't classify myself as atheist but perhaps more agnostic. I am in conflict with various Sikh principles 1) I don't want to keep my Kesh 2) I don't want to have to marry a Sikh woman of my parents choosing 3) I don't want to have to raise any children as Sikh, rather I would want them to have the freedom to choose what they believe in so the solution seems obvious right, i just come out of the agnostic closet, cut my hair, shave my beard and live my life as a free man doing what i want. I have a problem though... I love my parents. Weather you think it's an act of got or just human psychology, I love my Mom and Dad and hate seeing them in pain. Proclaiming i don't believe in God, marrying a non-sikh girl and cutting my hair would upset them a lot... so i have two choices 1) I break their hearts and live my life how I want 2) I continue with the ruse, I wear a khanda around my neck, i act like im praying when i'm at the gudwara, i marry a Sikh girl and raise a child Sikh, and tell them that the Sikh way of life is the best even though that's what i dont believe. This stuff keeps me up at night and really upsets me, damned if i do and damned if i don't. I don't think i'm the only person who is in this situation so here's what i wanted to say to all of you parents out there: I understand you want your kids to be Sikh, teach them about Sikhism, but allow them to be open, allow them to express their thoughts and FOR GODS SAKE don't emotionally blackmail them... so here's a scenario, little Billy walks in clutching several books on theology, philosophy and ethics. He proclaims "Mom! Dad! i love you both very much, our values are very similar however I don't believe in the Guru's, and I don't believe in god. My Moral's are derived from great thinkers and philosophers and my own concious.. now that i have researched my beliefs may i please stop going to the gudwara, may i please cut my hair... and can i focus on my Spanish coursework instead of having to learn the Punjabi alphabet!" Do you slap the little runt, or perhaps you respect his beliefs, and live together?