Welcome to SPN

Register and Join the most happening forum of Sikh community & intellectuals from around the world.

Sign Up Now!

What should i tell her to do?

Discussion in 'Sikh Youth' started by truthseeker, May 5, 2005.

Tags:
  1. truthseeker

    truthseeker
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    8
    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

    i have a very close friend how is thinking of taking amrit( before i go on i just wann say that i think that its amazing that she is thinking of amrit)My only concern is that she is goin into everything soo quickly and im afraid that she might " take the plunge" without being 100% ready for Guru ji. One day she would be talking to me about getting her hair cut and styled or w.e and then the next day shw would be like... wanna take amrit.And she just recently started getting more serious about it but im stilln ot sure that she is ready and ive already talked to another friend of ours who has also been talkin to her and he too said the same thing. And like now she wants to start wearing her Kakaars and she from what she has told me she does her paat, but she still talks about getting her hair done and all that kind of stuff, so in a way i really dont think should would be ready to take the final step. So my question is... what should i tell her, cuz she always asks me How she can get closer to Guru ji and stuff like that but i myslef dont even kno??

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!
     
  2. Loading...


  3. S|kH

    S|kH
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    380
    Likes Received:
    29
    Let her take it.

    I had a friend or two, who told me not to, and so I'm still not amritdhari.

    Well, life went on, and I still regret my decision, but will take it...and
    I'm not so-close friends with those people anymore.

    I had another friend that was in the same boat as yours, she was always saying she wants to take amrit, and then she would talk of cutting her hair...well, she didnt take it because of friends/parents or other reasons...and now shes so far from being Sikh I cant even explain it. I lost touch with her, not because of that, but other reasons.

    Those are just my personal experiences and of course every situation is different.

    But, I am convinced the Panj Pyare just went up and did it, so to speak.
    Could they know what to expect? I don't think anyone did. I bet half the people that were in attendance were worried about their farms back home, or their children running around, and weren't paying attention to guruji's wishes. A few individuals were debating it, and just stepped up and did it.

    If you don't feel right in her taking it, don't tell her she should, but yet don't tell her she shouldnt. Let her make her own decision, just don't try to tell her that she should wait.
     
  4. vijaydeep Singh

    vijaydeep Singh
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2004
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    86
    Gurfateh

    Let her decide herself.



    If she wuould been blessed by Akal then she will not do unsikh thing.



    If Akal does not find her fit then she may leave the true and ultimate faith of Akal.
     
  5. UnstoppableSingh

    UnstoppableSingh
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Vijaydeep Ji,

    Its a little more complicated then that. Though that is what our final vichars should be (leaving everything up to Hukam) at this time in a persons life (Truthseeker is 15 so i'm guessing her friend is as well)

    TruthSeeker

    First off i would just simply sit with your friend and let of my personal events and thoughts that occurred before and after taking amrit. Give the person the view of changes and personal self-sacrifice that is required.

    Secondly, we never go 100% ready for amrit. We are but students that will make mistakes. But are goal should be to "give our heads" for Guru Ji. This is the explaination my dad gave to me while i was really young about Amrit.

    "Think of taking Amrit as your finally exam for acceptance into a place of higher learning (ie University). Just as in life you prepare for your classes and exams do the same with Sikhi. So that one day (in his opinion not when your 60 and close to your death bed) you can take the one giant step of advancement and go to the University of Sikhism. And don't be discourage if you do mistakes in University everyone does. The only good thing is you have an ever loving Guru to forgive and give guidance."

    Lastly, show your friend the life of a Amritdhari Sikh by calling her over for your evening paat and simran. Bring her to your house and sit and read bani try to understand something together...... if the friend sees this and accepts it then fully encourage the friend to take the next step. If the friend doesn't well at least you know you did everything in your powers to help.
     
  6. truthseeker

    truthseeker
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    8
    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

    Dear unstoppalbe singh..

    Every weekend abunch of us kids get together on saturday night and have a sangat at either of our houses. We sit and do paath, kirtan just as if we were at gurdwara, so it is not that she has never done this before. From what she has told me she does hir nitnem as much possilbe and usualy kirtan sohila before goin to bed. My worry is that she isnt spiritually ready, i guess. I mean no one knows her better than herself and some days she will call me up on the phone and just talk about how much she wants to do this, but there are those times when she makes comments like " im thinking of getting my hair cut" that worry me. I mean if she cant make those sacrifices then how can she be ready?
    Another thing, she wanted to start wearing all her kakaars but she still eats meat on occassion and still removes her hair and soo forth... so would that be wrong if i told her that she should do it???

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!
     
  7. Arvind

    Arvind
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,365
    Likes Received:
    379
    Dear Truthseeker ji,

    IMHO, let us not judge whether another another person is ready or not. When anyone asks, it is our duty to explain the road ahead without using words like tough, difficult etc. Let them decide, if they are willing to travel or not. Do play a catalyzing role in the event for her necessary preparation though.

    Warm Regards, Arvind.
     
  8. CaramelChocolate

    CaramelChocolate
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Messages:
    588
    Likes Received:
    62
    My suggestion: Live as an amritdhari for a few years without actually taking amrit, and then if she gets used to living life that then tell her to take the plunge, but if she doesn't feel the lifestyle she can go back without any regrets.
     
  9. Arvind

    Arvind
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,365
    Likes Received:
    379
    I like this as well.. kind of rehearsal first. A self imposed test on self
     
  10. UnstoppableSingh

    UnstoppableSingh
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    TruthSeeker ji,

    First off let me just say i'm not getting into the meat issue. I have no opinion... if a person eats it or not makes no difference to me.

    Now back to the issue..... I'm guessing your friend probably is a person that likes to be "In-Fashion" type so there outward appearance is of great importance to them. What you got to do is show Sikhism view on the body.... i know a few shabads (Eh Maan Sundara or Mera Gur kai Lion" but i'll have to get the exact location of them later. Guru Ji went is extensive details explaining to us of how we should dress are outward appearance. Especially in Eh Maan Sundara where Guru Ji uses the example of a Women preparing herself (putting make-up and what not) for her Husband. Guru Ji uses that example and tells our souls (the Women) how she should prepare herself following Gurmat for her Husband (Akal Purkh).

    Also i would recommend you try a deep-personal defination of the Kakaars don't give her the normal book version most of the older generation gives. Give her reason why but from a personal view.
     
  11. truthseeker

    truthseeker
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    8
    Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!


    Unstoppable Singh ji, u are totally right. she loves to be " in fashion" and loves to dress up and all that stuff. So i guess she has to work on this before she goes any further right???? and i havent even got a chance to talk to her about the kakaars yet but i will definatly talk to her about the, once she receives them.
    Caramel Chocolate ji (i hope i spelled that right) i will definalty tell her to do that... ur suggestion was great.

    P.S thanks for relpying everyone:)
    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!
     
  12. Amerikaur

    Amerikaur
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    146
    Likes Received:
    9
    Why is it that every Amritdhari Sikh that I have met has said that Amrit has made a change in their life? (A good change)

    Bottom line: have faith in WAHEGURU. Because HE always knows what HE is doing. Let HIM be your friends guide. If she wants to take a step towards HIM, then encourage that step instead of impeding it.
     
  13. truthseeker

    truthseeker
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    8
    I think that most amritdhari Sikhs will say that because it is totally true... taking amrit is life changing, not becuase u have to do paat and so on so forth but because he have given your head to your Guru Ji and u have made a promise, or a vow to stay with him always. I think that that would change someones life do u?
    Let me put it this way... when someone gets married their entire life changes right, new house, new family( not that u ditch your other ones but ya), it is pretty much the same for taking amrit, you have a new house ( the house of Guru ji, new family( u are now a Khalsa and soo everyone is your brother/sister)

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!
     

Share This Page