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Truth and Shame in the Community

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by jiharji, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. jiharji

    jiharji
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    Are we to talk and live truthfully, or do we keep truths secret/ cover them up, because we know we will be shamed in the community if we openly tell the truth over certain things that have happened.
    Is it culture over religion?
    Take a situation that I know has happened to two Sikh families ( and I say that because it brings in both families in a marriage).
    One family lives in India (man),
    the other now lives in the UK ( woman).
    The eldest daughter marries the only son in India, having a true Sikh wedding.
    After six months she leaves him and when back in UK, she goes back to a man ( muslim) that she knows really loves her. During the following three months her younger sister ( 17yrs old) continues to converse with her husband and falls in love with him after a visit to India where they had intercourse, then leaves her family and goes to stay with him in India for a while against her families wishes. She comes back pregnant and has a son. The husband tries to get a divorce from the eldest sister, so he can marry the younger sister in secret,but she keeps blocking it.
    Both families have acted as if the man and younger sister are married and told everyone they are, when they are not.
    The parents want the divorce to go through and the new marriage in secret, so they dont have to own up to the real situation and the shame of it all in the communities.
    There are a few acts that have been carried out here that are wrong.
    Should the married couple stay married and should the parents have tried to help them over their difficulties.
    Should the man have protected his wifes younger sister and not had a sexual relationship with her.
    The man has not given anything to the mother of his child or his child and is recieving money from the UK family instead and hopes to be able to come to the UK when he is newly married.
    The younger sister realises she doesn't truly love the father of her child now, (as she has found someone else in secret who truly loves her and she him), but is still willing to carry on and go through with the marriage if the divorce happens to save the shame of the families in the communities.
    What should truly happen?
    Do they live with the consequences and tell the truth or do they continue the cover up ?
     
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  3. Ishna

    Ishna
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    Is it culture over religion?

    Yes. And it would make a great season of The Bold and the Beautiful!
     
  4. jiharji

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    It seems that a lot of Sikhs do not uphold to their beliefs and are not brave enough to be honest and truthful when things go awry, because Communities would still shame and shun them in this situation, rather than say we all make mistakes, learn from it, move on as God gave you this challenge and will stand with you, if you are willing to stand.
     

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