Welcome to SPN

Register and Join the most happening forum of Sikh community & intellectuals from around the world.

Sign Up Now!

USA Should men get a say in when women should have a child?

Discussion in 'Breaking News' started by BhagatSingh, Oct 25, 2012.

Tags:
?

Should husbands have a say in when (or if) their wife should have a child? and do they have a say re

  1. They should have full say and they do have a say in real life.

    4 vote(s)
    28.6%
  2. They should have full say but they do not have a say in real life.

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
  3. They should have partial say and they do have a say in real life.

    7 vote(s)
    50.0%
  4. They should have a partial say but they do not have a say in real life.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. They should have no say but they do have a say in real life.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. They should have no say and they do not have a say in real life.

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  1. BhagatSingh

    BhagatSingh Canada
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer sikhiart.com

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2006
    Messages:
    2,912
    Likes Received:
    1,640
    The power to bring life into the world is perhaps one of the world's greatest powers, and this is a God-given gift to women. They have the power to give birth to new life, and that is awesome. The process of a single cell growing in a matter of months to a human child and in a matter of years to fully grown humans is mindblowing!

    Guru Nanak Dev ji puts this wonderfully when he says:

    ਮਃ ੧ ॥
    Guru Nanak Dev ji

    ਭੰਡਿ ਜੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਨਿੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਮੰਗਣੁ ਵੀਆਹੁ ॥
    Woman gives birth, woman creates the baby, to ask for a woman is marriage.

    ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਭੰਡਹੁ ਚਲੈ ਰਾਹੁ ॥
    Through this friendship with woman, the society goes forward.

    ਭੰਡੁ ਮੁਆ ਭੰਡੁ ਭਾਲੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਬੰਧਾਨੁ ॥
    When his woman dies, we look for another, and bond with her.

    ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥
    Why call her bad when she gives birth to kings?

    ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੀ ਭੰਡੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥
    Woman gives birth to woman, without woman there would be noone.

    ਨਾਨਕ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਏਕੋ ਸਚਾ ਸੋਇ ॥
    O Nanak, only the True Lord is without a woman.

    ਜਿਤੁ ਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸਾਲਾਹੀਐ ਭਾਗਾ ਰਤੀ ਚਾਰਿ ॥
    That mouth which praises the Lord continually is blessed and beautiful.

    ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਮੁਖ ਊਜਲੇ ਤਿਤੁ ਸਚੈ ਦਰਬਾਰਿ ॥੨॥
    O Nanak, their faces shall be radiant in the court of the True Lord. ||2||


    Child-bearing is a huge responsibility not just for the parents but also for the immediate family and the larger society. This means the arrival of a child changes the life of those who are around it. It is a life-changing experience which continues to effect your life through to the end. Thus a woman who is about to have a child effects those around her, for the most part her husband, his parents and family, and her own family. The society is effected by new life, a cause for celebration every year and a potential for progress.

    This thread revolves around the role of men with regards to the birth of a child.

    As husbands and as fathers
    Should men get a say in when women should have a child? And the reasons for your response.

    Do they get a say in real life? And the reasons for your response.



    As grandfathers, as uncles and from outside the family as kathavachaks, as gurus, as other members of a collective society...
    Should these men get a say in when women should have a child? And the reasons for your response.

    Do they get a say in real life? And the reasons for your response.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    #1 BhagatSingh, Oct 25, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2012
  2. Loading...


  3. Luckysingh

    Luckysingh Canada
    Expand Collapse
    Writer SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    2,749
    This will be fun, I can predict the different responses already !!:mundabhangra:

    Should the father have a say in a consentual relationship ?
    This meaning it's not a rape or forced pro-creation in any way, but both have happily consented to their nocturnal activities (or during the day if preferable !!)

    My answer a quite clear and confident YES

    WHY ?

    This is talking about a child, who will have parents.
    TWO of them hopefully!
    The Parents both have equal roles in the upbringing of the child.
    Since the child BELONGS to both Mum and Dad equally ie. 50/50.

    Whether the child later grows up and decides to belong more to one than the other, then that is a different matter.
    However, no parent has the right to say before birth that the child will be more of mine ie.70/30 or similar....Or BELONG more to me.

    Since, in the making of this episode if you look behind the scenes you will see that both Mummy and Daddy were EQUALLY responsible in the making!!

    If these to be parents have to make a decision on wether to proceed with a pregnancy or not, then they BOTH eqally have to come up with a reasonable decision, and both says carry equal weight.

    I know there will be many that will disagree and come out with the mother does all the carrying and hard work..etc..
    BUT- my point is about looking at it from the future child's point not from mum's or dad's.

    I will comment more later from the 'No'' answer viewpoints.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. bairaagi

    bairaagi
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2011
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    32
    Biologically the contribution of Man in child's birth is in the terms of transferring sperms (reproductive cells) into female body. The rest of the process is taken care by women body. The entire body of child is formed from mother's flesh,blood. Other chemicals required are sourced from women body.

    Even after birth the child is dependent on mother's milk for at least one year.
    I think it should be more of a decision from female first . Male should also make sure (mentally,emotionally and financially) he is ready to take care of both in future.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  5. Ishna

    Ishna
    Expand Collapse
    On hiatus
    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 9, 2006
    Messages:
    2,942
    Likes Received:
    5,002
    In a healthy relationship it should be a joint decision. It's no more complicated than that, surely?
     
    • Like Like x 5
  6. Ambarsaria

    Ambarsaria Canada
    Expand Collapse
    ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
    Writer SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2010
    Messages:
    3,366
    Likes Received:
    5,657
    Just let it be.

    The magic happens when,

    • Husband says honey we should raise a child
    • Wife says honey we should raise a child
    Then let there be light :)angryyoungkaur:) and let it be,


    mundahugkaurhug
    cheerleader:mundabhangra:
    Conception is trial and error though some couples get a child just looking at each other lol.

    Fundamentally the decision should be "raising" versus "having" a child. Raising is positive and having is possessive and attachment (Moh).

    Sat Sri Akal.

    PS: So appropriate the following perhaps,

    Dusty Springfield "The Look Of Love" (1967) - YouTube

    Some real music everyone can contribute or visualize parts of,

    Adele - Rolling in the Deep (Cover by Sara Niemietz) - YouTube

    What a gift to the world the following is,

    Vazquez Sounds Adele - Rolling In The Deep (Cover) - YouTube
     
    • Like Like x 1
    #5 Ambarsaria, Oct 26, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2012
  7. BhagatSingh

    BhagatSingh Canada
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer sikhiart.com

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2006
    Messages:
    2,912
    Likes Received:
    1,640
    Most results indicate partial say, my objection to it is this. It's not that simple since when are two-person democracies viable? There's has to be a final say by someone. What kinds of circumstances dictate who has final say?

    When the wife says No and the husband says Yes. > who has final say and in what circumstances?
    When the wife says Yes and the husband says No. > who has final say and in what circumstances?

    Now factor in immediate family members.
    When in-laws say Yes/No and the couple says No/Yes.

    Now another factor, Joint-families living together under one roof like that in India.
    When in-laws are counted as individuals, each with their own vote.
     
  8. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
    Expand Collapse

    Moderator

    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    5,120
    Likes Received:
    7,947
    I do not think that a man, ruled by his parents, and his relatives, mired in the whole izzat concept, married to a woman, who is basically a cook, sexual plaything, servant to his parents, with no real say of her own, where they all live together in one house, can class as a healthy relationship
     
  9. Luckysingh

    Luckysingh Canada
    Expand Collapse
    Writer SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    2,749
    Harryji, I don't think you've caught on with these spammers yet.
    Every other day we get these robo-spammers with an english name and some digits after.- They are NOT real people. Tracey is about as real as Susan.
    These robos just take a few sentences from previous posts and repost them. I believe that this sentence was originally Ishnaji's !!!

    It's funny because no one has given these spammers any verbal abuse !!
     
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page