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Discussion in 'New to Sikhism' started by Satbinder Singh, Jun 6, 2011.
Guys i cant stop drinking
How can vaheguru help me please
Re: Need help !!
Try Alcoholics Anonymous. It has helped many hundreds of Sikhs I know.
Re: Need help !!
Satbinder Singh ji
Sikhs cannot help you, you must help yourself. And you are. You have started. Have you not taken some early steps. You admit you are helpless and you have turned to a higher power. Randip has given wholesome advice. So start over. We all fall more than once in our lives, on our own individual paths. There is no shame there. Pick yourself up. Resume your journey.
First of all mark out stuff:
-Mark out places where you might end up getting drinking (e.g. bars, pubs or bachelor pads)
-Avoid friends who force you to much to drink
-Mark out situations which give you the drinking impulse
If you show your friends you mean it, they will step back. And you will step ahead. No one stopping you.
Learn to say NO. Close your eyes when you have an inclination for drinking and repeat Waheguru to kill it. The choice is in your hands.
(If things go too out of hand, and someone hands you a bottle or glass filled with alcohol, throw it down, smash on floor!)
My wake up call happened when a 38 y/o colleague of mine got sick (her liver got sick) and died within 3 weeks.
That proved to me that your liver is really, REALLY important, and every sip of alcohol wastes it away. Why sacrifice your life and your health for something with no positive aspects.
Good luck with your recovery!
If I may ask , why do you drink?
If you are just 'drinking too much' then dealing with that is perhaps easier than for other reasons,
If you are drinking to reach oblivion, due to external pressures or life problems, you may find that dealing with the problems makes life easier to bear, and the need to run to oblivion is lessened. Also, if this is the reason, you will find yourself in no position to deal with the problems if you are constantly hungover.
Although I as a Sikh, of course accept the power of prayer and remembering the creator, try and focus as well on the very real consequences of your drinking with regards to you and your family, and the effect it may have on compounding any problems that are making you drink.
I really dont know why is drink to excess. Once i start i cant stop. very rarely in can. I dont have any particular problems at the moment, my problems arise when I drink and the consequnces after this.
I have been try to do japji Sahib in the morning maybe i need something at night aswell ( any advice? )
Also If i have eaten meat in the day should i not read the bani in the evening???
Look forget meat, that has nothing to do with reading Japji. You can read Japji any time.
Your main problem sounds like Alcohol and it sounds like you are an Alcoholic. It is a common problem amongst Sikhs.
The only thing I have seen work for Sikhs has been Alcoholics Anonymous. There are many Sikhs who are members there. Many Sikhs I know who have become Amritdhari as a result of going to AA.
Go to AA and stop drinking. Then worry about Sikhi.
I think your right.
time to make a decision and change my life.
Like I said I know lots of Sikhs who have gone to AA and now lead happy lives.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/<!-- google_ad_section_end -->
call them now.
I have trie AA in the past ( about 3 years ) drinking on off then.
I always felt a christian slant to it and felt uncomfortable. I only ever met one other sikh guy in 3 years. BUt i may go back Randip
If you have no underlying problems making you drink, I am afraid Im with Randipji on this one, find your local group and give it a go,
Thank you guys alot. Means alot.
Im going tommorow in Kensington London.
Satbinder Singh ji you may also try "Nux Vomica" a Homeopathic remedy. See your local Boots store. It is pretty cheap and try tincture or 3x, 6x strenghts and see if these take your craving away.
Sat Sri Akal.
From my understanding of the AA programme, it is about a Higher Power of YOUR UNDERSTANDING!
For Sikhs that Higher power being Waheguru or Onkaar.
If they try and ram Christianity down your throat, then that is not AAand find another meeting.
In Vancouver there are meetings run by Sikh Amritdharis.
Look here, Punjabi speaking meetings in Vancouver:
Apparently there are many Sikhs who to meetings in Brimingham and in London.
That is correct Randip ji.
First of all, please let me say congratulations on making the 1st step which is the hardest step-admitting you have a problem and asking for help. Well done!
I became accredited as a quitcard provider for helping people to give up smoking. It's another addiction so some of the techniques may be useful and I would like to share them with you. These things may or may not help, they are just ideas.
1) Make sure you have plenty of support around you. Kicking an addiction is very difficult and the more support you will have the better it will be, especially during the tough times when you suffer from withdrawel symptoms.
2) Identify patterns to your drinking as that will give you clues how to break it. Are there particular times, events, people, emotions that cause the craving? For example, if particular social situations are associated with the drinking then can you avoid them at least temporarily? If you need a drink at mealtimes then try using non-alcoholic substitutes eg grape juice. If particular times (e.g. at the end of the work day) then vary your routine so you are doing something else at that time and therefore don't have the same connection with alcohol. You get the idea.....Change as much as you can at least temporarily.
3) Use alternative drinks as much as possible. My favourite substitute for rose is rose syrup and lemonade.
4) Find a new hobby. Something completely dissociated with alcohol that will take your mind off the drinking.
5) Keep dedicated. There will be hard times but it will get better. Maybe have a written card in your wallet or somewhere prominent to help you when you get tempted.
Additionally trying to connect spiritually will help. Get involved in the sangat at your local Gurdwara. The company you keep has a big influence on what you do with your spare time. Most importantly don't be afraid to get professional help.
All the best!
One more thing you can try is track an excel sheet, every day you go without alcohol, put in 5$. If you drink one day, put in 0$. For the next 3 days if you don't drink, put in a 1$ only reminding you that you had a drink just recently. After 3 days start putting in 5$ again for no drinking. After one year, whatever is the total, donate the money. See if this helps. Have a comment column where you specify why you failed to control your urge to drink. Keep this excel sheet opened whenever you use any computer so that you are reminded of it. You can keep it online using Skydrive.com and share with a friend who can inspire you.
It is really important that "tips" for alcoholism be avoided. Alcoholism is a disease not a bad habit. A serious disease that can kill and ruins lives before that. Let's stick with approaches that have a good track record. Alcoholics Anonymous has worked for thousands for almost a century, and the medical profession knows it and recommends it.
My advice is that you must repalce an addication with something. You cannot leave an empty space as it is natural to want to fill it.
I've drunk too much in the past and I suggest replacing times you would have spent drinking with going out and doing something (any hobby).
I don't think it is a good idea going to AA, you are surronding yourself with people with worth problems than yourself and quite often peer groups can affect you.
My advice is replace your drinking with something and remember making good decisions is hard at first but it is like anything, it gets easier as you do it. The same is true for bad decisions.