- Jun 1, 2004
- 3,007
- 83
- 45
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette
================================================== =
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
================================================== =
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside
desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get
out.
- Montaigne
================================================== =
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't
face each other, but still they stay together.
================================================== =
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates
================================================== =
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
================================================== =
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
- Dumas
================================================== =
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?
- Freud
================================================== =
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire
engines.They gave him love and he invented marriage.
================================================== =
I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
================================================== =
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years."
- Sam Kinison
================================================== =
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
================================================== =
"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at
home too much."
- Colin Chapman
================================================== =
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want
to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield
================================================== =
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
================================================== =
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long
as I don't enjoy it.
================================================== =
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
================================================== =
My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not
enough closet space.
================================================== =
You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
- Henny Youngman
================================================== =
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
- Milton Berle
================================================== =
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
- Anonymous
================================================== =
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be
reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
================================================== =
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
================================================== =
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my
husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the
friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
================================================== =
Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer
contains small traces of
female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100
men 12 pints of beer and
observed that 100 of them started talking nonsense and
couldn't drive...
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette
================================================== =
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
================================================== =
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside
desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get
out.
- Montaigne
================================================== =
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't
face each other, but still they stay together.
================================================== =
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates
================================================== =
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
================================================== =
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
- Dumas
================================================== =
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?
- Freud
================================================== =
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire
engines.They gave him love and he invented marriage.
================================================== =
I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
================================================== =
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years."
- Sam Kinison
================================================== =
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
================================================== =
"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at
home too much."
- Colin Chapman
================================================== =
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want
to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield
================================================== =
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
================================================== =
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long
as I don't enjoy it.
================================================== =
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Groucho Marx
================================================== =
My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not
enough closet space.
================================================== =
You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
- Henny Youngman
================================================== =
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
- Milton Berle
================================================== =
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
- Anonymous
================================================== =
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be
reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
================================================== =
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
================================================== =
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my
husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the
friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
================================================== =
Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer
contains small traces of
female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100
men 12 pints of beer and
observed that 100 of them started talking nonsense and
couldn't drive...
