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Discussion in 'Business, Lifestyle & Leisure' started by Gyani Jarnail Singh, Sep 22, 2009.

  1. Gyani Jarnail Singh

    Gyani Jarnail Singh Malaysia
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    Sawa lakh se EK larraoan
    Mentor Writer SPNer Contributor

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    Remember when........

    A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show,
    a window was something you hated to clean, and ram was the
    cousin of a goat

    Meg was the name of my girlfriend and gig was a job for the
    nights now they all mean different things and that really mega
    bytes

    An application was for employment a program was a TV show a
    cursor used profanity a keyboard was a piano

    Memory was something that you lost with age a CD was a bank
    account and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped nobody found
    out

    Compress was something you did to the garbage not something you
    did to a file and if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in
    jail for a while

    Log on was adding wood to the fire hard drive was a long trip
    on the road a mouse pad was where a mouse lived and a backup
    happened to your commode

    Cut you did with a pocket knife paste you did with glue a web
    was a spider's home and a virus was the flu

    I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper and the memory in my
    head I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when
    it happens they wish they were dead.

    AND...

    TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
    FR : MANAGEMENT
    SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

    In order to assure the highest levels of
    quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our
    policy to keep all employees well-trained through out program
    of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
    give out employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

    If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on
    the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately
    placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and out managers are
    especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you
    can handle.

    DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

    Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have
    to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since
    our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
    don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
    already.

    If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
    training others. We can add your name to our BASIC
    UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are
    full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
    apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE
    PROGRAMMING (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

    If you have any further questions, please direct them to our
    HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGHT INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.
    S.H.I.T.).

    Thank you.

    BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
    (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
     
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