ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ਕੁਚਜੀ raag soohee mehalaa 1 kuchajee (Ang number is 762) By Harsimrat Kaur Khalsa President Guru Granth Parchar Mission of USA, Inc. email@example.com http://gurugranthparcharmissionusa.blogspot.com 510-432-5827 A bride’s nightmare is “to be rejected by her husband.” She and her parents would become especially shamed by society. Normally, newly-wed brides do their best to please their new husband, then after time elapses, they become lax. Indian brides separate in sadness from their parents’ home, parting from their siblings, as well. Divorce without shame is rampant in our modern times and is accepted already as normal behavior in USA. In this shabad, what kind of bride does it take to become rejected by a worthy husband? What kind of husband does it take to reject a worthy bride? Does Guru Granth Sahib use this worthless bride motif to approve separation and divorce? What important message can one learn from this shabad? <o> </o> ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ “One universal creator God. By the Grace of the True Guru:” ਮੰਞੁ ਕੁਚਜੀ ਅੰਮਾਵਣਿ ਡੋਸੜੇ ਹਉ ਕਿਉ ਸਹੁ ਰਾਵਣਿ ਜਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥ “I am ungraceful and ill-mannered, full of endless faults. How can I go to enjoy my Husband Lord?” The newlywed bride is excited about pleasing her new husband, hoping he will return the pleasure and love appreciation back to her. She strives for perfection in her appearance, devotion, and homely efforts, promising productive partnership, companionship, service, and responsibilities. ਇਕ ਦੂ ਇਕਿ ਚੜੰਦੀਆ ਕਉਣੁ ਜਾਣੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਨਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Each of His soul-brides is better than the rest - who even knows my name?” The happy, worthy bride does not care about fame, as long as her husband is pleased and pleases her. If everything in the home is a pleasant environment, then there would be no need to seek pleasures outside the home or away from her family. She becomes so devoted to care for her home and family, that there would be no need to waste her hours away at the cost of her family’s stability and welfare. ਜਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੀ ਸਖੀ ਸਹੁ ਰਾਵਿਆ ਸੇ ਅੰਬੀ ਛਾਵੜੀਏਹਿ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Those brides who enjoy their Husband Lord are very blessed, resting in the shade of the mango tree.” The leaves of the mango tree are tough, thick, and large. They are spread out widely to create a long lasting shade, so that no matter which way the sun passes by, there will still be a considerable amount of shade, as long as one is under the tree. The air becomes cooler with the fruity smell of multi-colored fruit hanging from the limbs creating a wonderful Paradise view. The Gurmukh rests in the shade of Guru Ji’s gian wisdom, freeing and protecting him from the heat of slavery of the 5 vices. ਸੇ ਗੁਣ ਮੰਞੁ ਨ ਆਵਨੀ ਹਉ ਕੈ ਜੀ ਦੋਸ ਧਰੇਉ ਜੀਉ ॥ “I do not have their virtue - who can I blame for this?” The woman of valor would have her name know by all for her virtuous traits. The manmukh doesn’t care for others, especially her family. She may care for them minimally, but in her heart become neglectful, greedy, selfish, and cruel. Family disunity destroys society very quickly. If one cannot unite his heart and mind, min and qin under Gurmat, then the ugly traits will radiate from her aura, actions, words, and attitude. Her children absorb her behavioral traits as normal behavior, thus perpetuating negative traits of dysfunction, having carelessness, hate, selfishness, and rebellion. Her entire family’s reputation depends on her ability to be a worthy wife and parent. She will not be able to say that it was not her fault for this, and associations with other evil families should not be given sole blame, either. She cannot have the good virtues of the good wives until she corrects the flaws deep insider herself. There is a cure for her. ਕਿਆ ਗੁਣ ਤੇਰੇ ਵਿਥਰਾ ਹਉ ਕਿਆ ਕਿਆ ਘਿਨਾ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Which of Your Virtues, O Lord, should I speak of? Which of Your Names should I chant?” God’s traits are countless, and He is beyond any trait at all. If we say He is merciful, that would not be enough to label Him. The wife addresses her husband by name, a name given him by mortal man. But what name is worthy to place onto God? We feel shame when we compare ourselves to the infinite Creator and provider of all, the most responsible Parent of all. ਇਕਤੁ ਟੋਲਿ ਨ ਅੰਬੜਾ ਹਉ ਸਦ ਕੁਰਬਾਣੈ ਤੇਰੈ ਜਾਉ ਜੀਉ ॥ “I cannot even reach one of Your Virtues. I am forever a sacrifice to You.” The Gursikh worships the unseen One, perfect and complete. Just as He is forever providing for us, we are forever in debt to His compassion, even when we never deserved it by our own virtues. ਸੁਇਨਾ ਰੁਪਾ ਰੰਗੁਲਾ ਮੋਤੀ ਤੈ ਮਾਣਿਕੁ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Gold, silver, pearls and rubies are pleasing.” We are conditioned by other people to place value on treasures, and we work hard to earn them or to receive them as gifts from family and friends. These items do not accompany us after death, and the transition into the new phase of existence can become quite frustration like Hell, being shocked by actual reality outside of living in a human body. The wisdom of Guru is compared to precious stone and gems because of the benefits Guru gian promises. ਸੇ ਵਸਤੂ ਸਹਿ ਦਿਤੀਆ ਮੈ ਤਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਸਿਉ ਲਾਇਆ ਚਿਤੁ ਜੀਉ ॥ “My Husband Lord has blessed me with these things, and I have focused my thoughts on them.” The Gurmukh does not focus on physical treasures, but realizes that God Himself is the treasure blessing to all of us. We can find this treasure deep inside us, and all we have to do to activate it is to study Guru Granth Sahib and live by it. ਮੰਦਰ ਮਿਟੀ ਸੰਦੜੇ ਪਥਰ ਕੀਤੇ ਰਾਸਿ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Palaces of brick and mud are built and decorated with stones;” Wonderful things are created from the simplest, worthless items on earth. Brick and mud are combined with water, fired up, then set to dry in the hot sun before using for construction. Our body is composed of all the natural elements in the world decorated by the soul and light of the Creator to sustain us. Stones are hard and last indefinitely to most natural disasters. The wisdom of Guru cannot be destroyed but like the stone, becomes easily removable from our minds by choice. ਹਉ ਏਨੀ ਟੋਲੀ ਭੁਲੀਅਸੁ ਤਿਸੁ ਕੰਤ ਨ ਬੈਠੀ ਪਾਸਿ ਜੀਉ ॥ “I have been fooled by these decorations, and I do not sit near my Husband Lord.” Many are wasting most of their lives away for physical gain that will not help them. It is more important to yearn for the Giver rather than the gifts. If the gifts disappear, the Giver is faithful to restore them again. Gurbani promises God who refreshes our souls as long as we drink of the fountains of His Amrit Shabad Amrit Har Bani. ਅੰਬਰਿ ਕੂੰਜਾ ਕੁਰਲੀਆ ਬਗ ਬਹਿਠੇ ਆਇ ਜੀਉ ॥ “The cranes shriek overhead in the sky, and the herons have come to rest.” False wisdom is not wisdom at all. The cranes fly with their necks extended, but the herons humbly tuck in their necks but grab any animal that moves and are completely carnivorous. The Heron humbly, stealthily settles at the riversides searching for living food, and is even amore dangerous hunter than the crane. The Manmukh thinks the most obvious dangers are those easily detected. The greater danger hides in the unseen, secret parts of our environment posing as family or friend. Likewise, the greatest source of help is not in what is seen, but what is unseen. Things are not as they appear. Without the visual lenses of Gurbani wisdom, one will never find the true haven of rest. ਸਾ ਧਨ ਚਲੀ ਸਾਹੁਰੈ ਕਿਆ ਮੁਹੁ ਦੇਸੀ ਅਗੈ ਜਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥ “The bride has gone to her father-in-law's house; in the world hereafter, what face will she show?” Our face radiates from birth what we feel and think. The bride shows her best face into her father-in-laws house. After a short while, her true face will become evident when she reverts back to her old undesirable ways. Life after death is symbolized as the house of the father-in-law, an abode unknown and full of suspense, she is unfamiliar with what is considered acceptable behavior and intolerable behavior. She will not be willing nor is conditioned to change her behavior and attitudes in this new environment. If she had time before marriage to prep herself, it would be much easier to adjust. The wisdom of her parents prepares her for this. ਸੁਤੀ ਸੁਤੀ ਝਾਲੁ ਥੀਆ ਭੁਲੀ ਵਾਟੜੀਆਸੁ ਜੀਉ ॥ “She kept sleeping as the day dawned; she forgot all about her journey.” Instead of heeding the lessons of growing up, of life, of true love and sharing, she preferred to rest in physical pleasures, fame, fashion, and all those things that cannot buy true love and a good family. Even if she marries a worthy husband, she will suffer. ਤੈ ਸਹ ਨਾਲਹੁ ਮੁਤੀਅਸੁ ਦੁਖਾ ਕੂੰ ਧਰੀਆਸੁ ਜੀਉ ॥ “She separated herself from her Husband Lord, and now she suffers in pain.” By not heeding the advice of the experienced ones, she continually fails in her own selfish, ignorant efforts to secure her place in her new home environment, then ends up being cast out or runs away back to her old ways of life. She is not willing to accept changes in her life for her good future. ਤੁਧੁ ਗੁਣ ਮੈ ਸਭਿ ਅਵਗਣਾ ਇਕ ਨਾਨਕ ਕੀ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ਜੀਉ ॥ “Virtue is in You, O Lord; I am totally without virtue. This is Nanak's only prayer:” No bride is deemed worthy by her own virtue. She is not born with this gift but has to learn it by education and positive reinforcements and people of good examples to follow. The Gurmukh does not proudly show off his worthless self to an infinite Holder of all good virtues. We can never match up the greatness of God. ਸਭਿ ਰਾਤੀ ਸੋਹਾਗਣੀ ਮੈ ਡੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਕਾਈ ਰਾਤਿ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥ “You give all Your nights to the virtuous soul-brides. I know I am unworthy, but isn't there a night for me as well? ||1||” A husband is always affectionate to his virtuous wife. He may not express it the same way or the same amount of outward affection, but his love is still there. A virtuous wife does not selfishly demand physical expressions of love every night, but does expect some type of acknowledgement of appreciation from him. Akal Purekh shows 100% of His love and affection every single night, unlike humans, He never ages or weakens. Each night the Gurmukh realizes more and more how much the Husband Lord infinitely loves us. In conclusion, Guru Nanak Dev Ji composed this hymn using the ungraceful bride motif as a example for us learn the consequences of ignoring education of Gurbani wisdom. Just as parents are obligated to prepare their children for healthy growth and mental maturity, so are they required to lead the ways of homemaking and parenting. If we ignore the lessons of life by those who truly love us, how will we be able to survive in a new household that begins with a new life partner? Guru Nanak wishes healthy family relationships for all people. All it takes is the willingness to give up our selfish ways and be brave to adapt to change. We become too comfortable with life in this world and have no interest in preparing for the next. The best way to adapt to change is to be willing to separate ourselves from falsehood, false doctrines and false habits. This does not happen overnight, so as one studies Guru Granth Sahib, the more one learns, the more one understands, the more one feels the conviction inside for the need of change. The Indian bride is sad on her marriage day, because she is attached to her beloved parents and siblings, to that which she is accustomed to, knowing they loved and cared for her. It is the unknown that she moves into to live with. When we take the brave step to discard each non-virtuous trait inside us, then God fills that emptiness will His Amrit, the benefits of Guru’s wisdom. Constantly the Gurmukh enjoys the Husband Lord; and the more he appreciates Him the more attributes of God emulate from him.