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Mai Harinder Kaur

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We Sikhs love to brag that our religion sees women and men as equals. All well and good, Sikhi teaches this. But I don't see many of usr Kaurs standing up as equals. We tend to let the Singhs run everything. As marvelous as they are, we are also magnificent! We need to stand up, be visible, be tough and insist on being counted. We even need to stand in front of buses, if that's what it takes.

We who are the daughters of Guru Gobind Singh Ji need to find our voice and stand up as the proud Singhnis we are. Guru Ji gives us the right, the power, perhaps even the obligation to do this.

Let's do it ourselkves...If we wait for our brother Singhs, we'll be waiting another 300 years, at least!
2694588137_3baf93aea4_o.jpg


BTW, I have no idea who this lady is, but I want to be like her.
 

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kds1980

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Mai ji

Very good post

But I want to say something If women want equality then they must have to share equal responsibilty
These days sikh girls are becoming more and more lineberal in their beleif.They openly say that they don't have problem with marrying non sikh men.We in our society hardly see any sikh woman who marries non sikh man tries to raise their children as sikhs.I am sorry to say but with this kind of beleif
women will be never seen as equal by sikh men.

And yes there are very good sikh girls who are very religious and devouted to sikhism.But they are in minority and more and more girls are becoming modern and westernised
 

spnadmin

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kds ji

Can the Singhs tell the difference between the two types of Sighnis? I think so. If they can see that, then Singhs can ask themselves these questions? The Kaurs have voices. Do enough of them know they have voices? Do enough of them use their voices? -- that is Mai's point. No one has to wait for a Singh to listen. Or wait for permission to speak.

More questions for Singhs. Why does a Kaur have to stand in front of a bus in any situation? Did the situation have to beome so drastic for that Kaur to take action? Or should having a voice and taking action become a habit for as many Kaurs as possible?

Just some thoughts from one who has a voice and would like to hear many other Kaur voices speaking to her. :)
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

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But I want to say something If women want equality then they must have to share equal responsibilty

Oh, I think we are quite willing to take equal responsibility, for the most part. Of course, that means you men need to meet us halfway. You know we get tired. These days we are excpected to take care of the house, cook, raise the children AND hold down a job. It's amazing we don't drop dead from exhaustion.

I had no idea how exhausted I really was until I had this stroke and was able to rest, since I was unable to do many of the things I had done before.

But we are also taught to serve, not to complain, just accept the old traditions of male domination from Punjabi culture. I think it's time we live according to the principles of Sikhi instead of that old culture. To do that, though, we have to find our voice and then use it. Check out the discussion of this picture - which was, by the way, painted by a Singh!:happy:



l



Daughter(s) of the Khalsa on Flickr - Photo Sharing!
 

Astroboy

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In Thailand, it is the Kaurs who boss around, and the Singhs are their "Yes Men".
Bring some of the Thai Kaurs and the world will never be the same again, ever.
 

kds1980

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Oh, I think we are quite willing to take equal responsibility, for the most part. Of course, that means you men need to meet us halfway. You know we get tired. These days we are excpected to take care of the house, cook, raise the children AND hold down a job. It's amazing we don't drop dead from exhaustion.

I had no idea how exhausted I really was until I had this stroke and was able to rest, since I was unable to do many of the things I had done before.

But we are also taught to serve, not to complain, just accept the old traditions of male domination from Punjabi culture. I think it's time we live according to the principles of Sikhi instead of that old culture. To do that, though, we have to find our voice and then use it. Check out the discussion of this picture - which was, by the way, painted by a Singh!:happy:



l



Daughter(s) of the Khalsa on Flickr - Photo Sharing!


Mai ji

You have misunderstood my post I am not talking about family responsibilty.I am talking about responsibility toward religion.That include following tenants of sikhism,marrying sikh men and raising their children as sikhs.also sikh women that marry outside their children could try to raise their children as sikhs.But I am sorry to say that I can,t that majority of sikh girls are ready to share this reasponsibility.Infact girls are most influenced by media and bollywood and started beleiving that all religions are same so their is nothing wrong in marrying outside religion.Do they ever realise they are biggest loser in terms of religion as in indian culture children inherit religion from their father mostly and slowly they also started following their husband's religion.

Women these days are much better educated ,earning etc than 20-30 years ago but in terms of following sikhism they are no match what women use to be a generation or 2 ago .Infact women were the one who encouraged sikh men to follow sikhism.
 

kds1980

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kds ji

Can the Singhs tell the difference between the two types of Sighnis? I think so. If they can see that, then Singhs can ask themselves these questions? The Kaurs have voices. Do enough of them know they have voices? Do enough of them use their voices? -- that is Mai's point. No one has to wait for a Singh to listen. Or wait for permission to speak.

More questions for Singhs. Why does a Kaur have to stand in front of a bus in any situation? Did the situation have to beome so drastic for that Kaur to take action? Or should having a voice and taking action become a habit for as many Kaurs as possible?

Just some thoughts from one who has a voice and would like to hear many other Kaur voices speaking to her. :)

After reading your post I only want to say that where there is will their is way.If sikh women really want their voice to heard then their voice will be heard m.May be not today but one day.Women all over the world acheived lot of things which they really want to do.

As far as standing in front of bus is concerned I don't know about the picture but may be that woman want to reach her destination.so she chose method to stand in front of bus as transport is really big problem in indian cities and old people women suffer the most.
 

spnadmin

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As far as standing in front of bus is concerned I don't know about the picture but may be that woman want to reach her destination.so she chose method to stand in front of bus as transport is really big problem in indian cities and old people women suffer the most

Yes both points are true!:yes:
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

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Oct 5, 2006
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You have misunderstood my post I am not talking about family responsibilty.I am talking about responsibility toward religion.That include following tenants of Sikhism,marrying Sikh men and raising their children as sikhs.also Sikh women that marry outside their children could try to raise their children as sikhs.But I am sorry to say that I can,t that majority of Sikh girls are ready to share this reasponsibility.Infact girls are most influenced by media and bollywood and started beleiving that all religions are same so their is nothing wrong in marrying outside religion.Do they ever realise they are biggest loser in terms of religion as in indian culture children inherit religion from their father mostly and slowly they also started following their husband's religion.

Women these days are much better educated ,earning etc than 20-30 years ago but in terms of following Sikhism they are no match what women use to be a generation or 2 ago .Infact women were the one who encouraged Sikh men to follow Sikhism.

ads1980 ji

You are right, I did misunderstand. I spent the whole night thinking about what you said. (One legacy for me of surviving Delhi '84 is insomnia.)

I still believe most women are exhausted, overworked, holding down jobs as well as the lion's, I mean lioness' share of work in the home. I think about my own home life when our son was a young child. Every morning and evening we had our special time together when I took care of his kesh, washing, combing, tying, patka-ing. During this time, he would leisurely tell me whatever was on his mind, and, believe me, young kids have plenty on their minds. I well remember the day he said to me, "Mommy, when you and Daddy can't figure something out, you ask Guru Ji. Can I do that, too?" Of course, he could! I had to bring in a little stool for him to stand on. I remember how carefully he opened Guru Ji, and how slowly and carefully he read the Gurmukhi - and how he insisted on reading it himself with no help from me. I hadn't asked him his question, that was really none of my business, and he was satisfied with the answer he received, the big smile on his face told me that.

A lovely story, you say, from 1975. So what does that have to do with today?

Just this: I was able to stay at home and raise our child. Don't get me wrong, I worked my tush off on our little family farm while Mani, my husband, was in town being a doctor, but I was always there. Even in my generation, though, motherhood was being discredited as an occupation. As time has gone on, this trend has accelerated until today, the stay-at-home mom is considered almost a miscreant. I wonder how much energy I would have had as a teacher of Sikhi had I had to hold down a job, take care of the home AND raise our child.

The young women today did not have the upbringing I had, nor the upbringing my son had. They really have no idea how to bring up Gursikh children. I am not blaming anyone, these are just the facts.

I loved being a mother, that's just my thing. I realise not all women want to be stay-at-homes with the kids. Nor are many able to, financially. That can work out OK, but only with the whole-hearted cooperation of the husband. The married couple must really work together as a team. None of this 50-50 nonsense. Each must give 100%. Oh, dear, I'm not a marriage counsellor, just a 56 year old lioness with some experience.

it could have been a man in the picture

the essence would have remained the same.

amarsanghera ji

Not at all. The point is that one would expect to see a man there, not a woman. It is unusual to see a woman, who in Punjabi-Sikh culture is taught to stay in the background and not assert herself, put herself forward like that. Look at the pictures of the recent clashes/protests in Punjab and Mumbai and compare the numbers of men and women.


In Thailand, it is the Kaurs who boss around, and the Singhs are their "Yes Men".
Bring some of the Thai Kaurs and the world will never be the same again, ever.

Oh, really? Please send me the list of the ladies who are gurdwara presidents in Thailand.

On my computer, I can't get that second picture to download, so I have put it on as my avatar.

I know this is already too long, but I have one more thing I need to say.

Let me tell the ending of my son's story. I am, after all, his mother and terribly proud of him. When the day came - and it did come - when he had to choose between cutting his kesh and possibly surviving or keeping it and certainly dying, he chose shaheedi. Maybe that has nothing to do with this thread, really, but I think it needs to be told. :shy:
 

spnadmin

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So there are two Kaurs and three Singhs speaking so far. Singhs, you are welcome as always to join the talk, but.. Please, where are the other Kaurs?
 

Astroboy

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Presidents don't hold the powers to make the decisions, it is the vajeer (his menteri).
This reminds me of the story of Akbar and his favorite advisor, Birbal.
 

Archived_Member_19

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<<It is unusual to see a woman, who in Punjabi-Sikh culture is taught to stay in the background and not assert herself, put herself forward like that. Look at the pictures of the recent clashes/protests in Punjab and Mumbai and compare the numbers of men and women.>>

times, they are changing


:)
 

Archived_Member_19

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mai ji

what are your measuring scales to compare indian or thai kaurs?

being president of gurudwara?

is it a reasonable measure?
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

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Oct 5, 2006
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amarsanghera ji

mai ji

what are your measuring scales to compare indian or thai kaurs?

being president of gurudwara?

is it a reasonable measure?

Actually I'm Canadian.

Seems as reasonable as anything else for a measure. You have some other suggestion?

times, they are changing

I remember that song

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'

After 300 years, it's about time. I hope you're right.

namjap

Those Birbal/Akbar stories are priceless. I liked the stupid brahmin, myself...rather like the western story of the emporer's new clothes. Thanks for the link. That barber got what he deserved. Teach him to cut hairs! :rofl!!:
 

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