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I’ve Wasted £157,000 on Waxing, But Hairs Never Give up the Ghost

Discussion in 'General' started by findingmyway, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. findingmyway

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    Writer SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Aug 18, 2010
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    Last week, a news story claimed women were suffering from a rise in bacterial infections due to the current mania for Brazilian and Hollywood bikini waxes.

    The treatment can cause hundreds of tiny tears in the skin, making us more vulnerable to bacteria.

    Add this to the risk of bugs caught from the waxing process itself (don’t stand for therapists ‘double-dipping’ the lollipop stick used to apply the product back into the cauldron of warm wax; it’s a germ magnet) and a practice billed by many spas as ‘hygienic’ may well be the exact opposite.
    This latest health scare has reignited the whole debate about whether women should feel the need to be as bare as a billiard ball in their nether regions.

    Never mind the expense — I’ve just calculated I’ve spent £157,115 on waxing in my lifetime — and the time it takes to attend appointments every two or three weeks.

    Why should women feel compelled to replicate the private parts of a pre-adolescent?

    Looking at a 1982 copy of Vogue, I am amazed to see not only how womanly the models appear, but how hirsute.

    In an advertisement for tights, you can clearly see the model’s thick, dark line of pubic hair.

    Indeed, when I first came to London as a student, in 1977 and started the lifetime commitment that is ‘waxing’, the norm then was a half leg and a bikini wax — just the few stray hairs left exposed by a pair of knickers.

    And it never really works, all this waxing. Not really. Hairs never give up the ghost, the tenacious blighters.

    You can exfoliate all you like, but waxing weakens the hair shaft, meaning when it regrows it is more likely to grow crooked under the skin, resulting in unsightly ingrown hairs.

    But once you embark on the slippery slope that is waxing, you don’t know when to stop.

    Most women I know have two good weeks, when they can wear short skirts, have sex with a man and sit on a beach, followed by two weeks of famine, when we have to remain on lock-down, given we are frantically trying to grow enough hair to make the next session of costly waxing as effective as possible.

    It does make you wonder, what on earth is the point?

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    #1 findingmyway, Aug 23, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2012
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  3. Kanwaljit Singh

    Kanwaljit Singh India
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    Apache Spark, Scala developer
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    Jan 29, 2011
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    Here's a nice article on how men want women to be!


    Listen Up, Ladies: Here’s Everything Real Men Think Is Wrong With You

    Lindy West

    I've been doing some scholarly research, and I noticed this thing that's been really dragging society down for the past few millennia: it's that everything is wrong with you. You are gross. First of all, your hair is gross, because it is not long and thick enough. But don't strap fake hair to your head! That's also gross! Also, what the **** is up with your skin? It is so dry and scaly like a lizard (but not one of those sexy lizards)! Except uuuuuuugh, do you have to take so long putting on your idiotic woman-lotion? This ***** isn't going to fondle itself! CHOP CHOP. Now, I know all this contradictory minutiae regarding your attractiveness can get confusing (especially with your lipstick-encrusted walnut brains!), but luckily, plenty of guys are generous enough to explain what they don't like about you in great detail. Over and over. You're welcome.

    For your edification, the good folks over at Yahoo have compiled a list of the "15 Biggest Beauty Turnoffs from Real Guys"—yet another survey of "real guys" to reinforce the precise line of **** we women need to walk to remain attractive to them (it's the least we can do, really). Because that media trope never gets tired. Let's jump in!
    If you are looking to attract a man with your fluffy false lashes and your flowing fake mane, it is time to take a different approach. We scouted the truth and discovered the things women do that make men turn the other way. All in all, men love to see the woman underneath the makeup, so ditch the dramatic routine and go natural for once.
    First of all, I am neither an empty man-socket nor a {censored word, do not repeat.}ing venus flytrap. I am not looking to "attract a man." I am just trying to do my stuff and then maybe meet a person who likes me because I am also a person. I didn't want to get all serious right off the bat, BUT SORRY: Women's grueling, lifelong, losing battle to transform themselves into magical, flawless creatures with Disney hair and 15-inch waists and massive ham-lips is not for the benefit of women. And when men say that they "love to see the woman underneath the makeup," they're not saying they want to see your leg stubble and greasy bangs—they're saying they want you to be better at hiding your maintenance routine. Because the maintenance spoils the fantasy.
    "My wife spends 20 minutes after the shower putting on body lotion. Apparently it has to be applied evenly. For me, it is just a time suck." -R.D.S.
    "It gets on my nerves when women take too much time on makeup. You would think after a lifetime they would have the process down to less than 45 minutes!" -Christopher
    Yeah, women! You're sooooo high-maintenance! To be clear, we definitely don't want you to stop painting that prettier face over your regular face every day—because gross—but could you just hurry it up? You're late for Christopher's blowjob.
    "I can't stand when she has wet hair after the shower and lays on my pillow, I usually roll over on the wet spot." -Jeff
    Okay, that one is legit rude. But "wet hair" is not solely a woman's domain. Fun fact: Dudes are also capable of becoming wet in a shower and then lying on a bed. Equality! Look at us go!
    "If she has to be at work at 6am and uses the hair dryer, it wakes me up. Then, just when I get back to sleep. She is wearing her heels in the bathroom and the kitchen. Click. Click. Can't you wear slippers?" -Pablo
    So don't have wet hair but don't use the hair dryer. Got it.
    Also, definitely wear sexy heels (sensible flats are for lesbians, obv!), but don't walk in them. At least not when Pablo is sleeping. If you could just scoot yourself around on the carpet like a dog with butt-worms, and then put your heels on outside in the beauty bark, that would be ideal for Pablo. Thx.
    "I don't like extensions because when you put your hands in her hair you can feel all the lumps. It might be good to look at but not to touch." -Robert
    Jeez, all this hair stuff is confusing! So...don't have wet hair, don't have dry hair, don't have natural hair, don't have fake hair. GOT IT.
    And, you know, Robert, when you teach women that they need to be objects to even qualify as women, then why are you surprised when they start to literally integrate with objects?
    "I'm picky about oral hygiene - brushing, flossing, mouthwash. She has to brush her teeth before bed and in the morning before we kiss. That extra care once we reach a certain level of intimacy is important." -Rod
    Have you tried Milk Bones?
    "They don't put caps back on things or they put it on but they don't screw it on so when I go get something it spills." -Connor
    Oh, for ****'s sake, Connor. Women don't put caps back on things!? This is a woman thing now? ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN'T A "CONNOR'S SISTER" THING? My boyfriend leaves his wet towel on the bed, but you don't see me e-mailing {censored word, do not repeat.}ing Kirk Douglas and President Obama and Bobby Flay about it.
    "Those thick eyelashes that women put on are annoying. It makes a woman stick out and people know that they aren't real. I like a woman who looks nice and natural. Regular people don't need all those eyelashes." -Lindsay
    Regular people don't need all those eyelashes.
    "My wife doesn't dye her hair often enough. I don't like to see those dark roots." -Anonymous
    "I wish my girlfriend would get a manicure more often instead of doing it herself. She is pretty low-maintenance." -Shaun
    First of all. I find it hard to believe that Shaun can even tell the difference between a salon manicure and an at-home manicure, unless his girlfriend has some sort of tremor-inducing palsy, or multitasks by combining nail maintenance with trampoline practice. Which means this whole thing is just about signaling—Shaun wants to be with the kind of woman who gets her nails done at a salon. Nevermind the fact that going out to get your nails done can eat up several hours a week (I presume he also wants his girlfriend to have a career and a social life and to take care of her family and do her taxes and maintain her home and feed herself and possibly sleep once in a while), and can cost hundreds of dollars a month (I also presume Shaun is not footing the bill).

    And second of all, let's all just take a second to note that women have now been criticized for being high-maintenance, maintenance, and low-maintenance.

    And third of all, MAYBE SHE JUST LIKES DOING HER NAILS BECAUSE IT'S FUN. Sometimes women get to make our own decisions and do things because those things make us happy.

    I can't believe we're even still having this conversation, but dudes, LISTEN: Women's bodies, even ones into which you get to stick your *****, are not yours. Women have the right to be gross, to have hair, to be slow, to put on make-up, to not put on make-up, to wear fake eyelashes, to smell good or bad, and to be human beings. Women are not your dog our your lawn or your living room, you do not get to prune and groom and design us, and negotiating things like hygiene and style within a relationship is a matter of mutual respect. My right to do my own nails does not stop where your personal boner for trimmed cuticles begins.

    Also, women: If you are single, it is not because your fake eyelashes are too bushy or Kevin doesn't like cucumber lotion. This **** is an oppressive waste of your time. Here's my new beauty tip for everyone on earth: Go read a book or something.
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    #2 Kanwaljit Singh, Aug 23, 2012
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  4. Joginder Singh Foley

    Joginder Singh Foley United Kingdom
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    Writer SPNer

    Jan 26, 2008
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    On waxing.........They say fools and their money are soon parted Just think what you coul have got for that sort of money All those poor rural Singhs [and non Singhs] who could have been helped with such ammounts if given in SIVA


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