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Is it Wrong for a Sikh Boy to Get Braids?

Discussion in 'Sikh Youth' started by Sikhboy11, Aug 1, 2011.

  1. Sikhboy11

    Sikhboy11
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    I just wanted to know if it was wrong for a Sikh to get braids, this doesn't include cutting of the hair, just platting the hair in an African style?
     
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  3. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    hello again little brother

    If you plait your hair, I think you will find that although you still have your kesh, it is not presented to the world as a sikh would wear it, or the way your Guru would want you to present yourself, the only boon here is that there is a way back to kesh/pugh.

    Given your last post, I would not worry too much about it, concentrate on getting your soul clean, braid your hair if you feel you must, but try and get yourself back on track to the 'golden path' , once you have filled your light with the right company, and the right pleasures, you will question why you even thought about braids

    winkingmunda
     
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  4. Sikhboy11

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    yeahh brother i understand you, thank you!
     
  5. Harry Haller

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    Brother,

    I take it you still wear your turban, will you do something for me please, I want you to go look in the mirror, and look hard. What you see is a sikh man, you may not understand what exactly this means, I do not know your upbringing, but I was you once, uncool, awkward, desperate to be validated by my peers, and then in the end, desperate to be validated by anyone. There is nothing wrong at all with black culture, but then what is so wrong with sikh culture that you would want to look like an african?. I will tell you something, if you were to look deeply into the culture and history of your own background, it would blow your mind, the philosophies and spirituality, the sheer common sense, it is all there, and you already have the identity for it, Baba deep Singh Ji, Baba Banda Bahadur ji, many many heroes, much equality , much enlightenment, you have been lucky enough to be born a king of the world, you just need to educate yourself, there is no sin, there is no paap, you just get further away, or closer to the creator, it is in your hands, but the further you move away, the further you have to go to move back.

    Brother be proud, all that you are being drawn to at present is temporary and pointless and will only give you moments of pleasure, the true hero does not dwell in the gutter of drink and drugs and women, the true hero stands proud and unbroken, yet experiences pleasure that would put your spliff and scotch to shame.

    I know where you are at present, I know how hard it is to stop, just make small steps in the right direction, use your brain, think, see, what is the gutter offering you, what is sikhi offering you, make your own choice

    You will never be too far to come back brother, but why make it harder for yourself
     
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  6. Sikhboy11

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    yeahh i understand brother, i aint going to lie, i wanted braids just obviously for something new and modern but to look cool i suppose, i've braided my hair twice in my lifetime and this was a 6-7 year gap between both. i feel in our society today the "British" society, you need to be modern etc to be accepted, getting judged for wearing a bucktah doesn't offend me but i feel it sometimes lowers my self confidence due to the fact that all my friends have haircut and i dont, not saying i want a haircut because i would never want one but nowadays the "stand out from the crowd" doesn't really apply
     
  7. BhagatSingh

    BhagatSingh Canada
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    Hmm...
    Sounds like you need to contemplate the words of Harry ji more deeply.

    Notice how he says there is nothing wrong with getting braids but the desire for braids is coming out of insecurity and restlessness.
    So the issue is much deeper than braids or turban. If you can fix this issue it will improve your life in many other unrelated areas, and overall you will feel better. Because insecurities also run in relationships, which I think are also important to you. Also recall your other sin thread, some are showign up there. if you can learn to deal with insecurities and restlessness in one area, it will give you experience with how to deal with it in other areas (that is if there is anything still left to deal with ;) ).

    First learn to accept the insecurity and it's consequences until you are over it. You can go as far as showcasing your insecurity until you feel completely comfortable with having it.

    Learn to be OK with wearing a turban. Learn to see it as acceptable and something to be proud of. Grow your perception so that it begins to see the awesome history behind the turban as you look deeply at any turban (whether Sikh, Afghani, or any other one).

    So that means some research is up next. Read up on some history. Plain and simple. Then think about that history.

    Also some meditation on the turban is also called for. Paying attention to the different styles. You know, each turban has it's own personality. Can you see it? Can you try and describe that personality? We can help you do that through images from Google. We can ask you certain questions and share our observations. That will help grow your perception of what a turban is.

    Once the turban looks not only appropriate for any situation but looks wicked, and you know your insecurity and restlessness about wearing it, is no more then do whatever you want with your hair.
     
  8. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    I will tell you about cool brother, having been jailed for driving offences, I thought i was going to get the life kicked out of me in prison, lets face it, I was about to enter the one place where being cool can save your life, and do you know what I found, I found respect, people, especially the black community respect individuality, they respect people that do not follow the crowd, you are cool already, you just do not realise it, I was left alone, sometimes even people stood up for me, because they thought that if I went to that much effort to keep my hair and my pugh, even in prison, then I must be a man of conviction and honour (ok at the time they were wrong, but thats not the point)

    If its your self confidence, then you must realise that comes from within. Let me give you an example, a friend of my wife has a bust enlargement to boost her confidence, and soon she was swamped with dates, but, she told my wife, 'they all just want to look at my chest, no one is interested in ME', well of course they do, just like if you get braids and become popular, it will not be YOU, it will be your braids, if you study some sections of the SGGS ji, some of which can be quite exciting, you will learn how to boost your self confidence without external measures, it will flow from inside, and people will be more interested in YOU

    gingerteakaur
     
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  9. BhagatSingh

    BhagatSingh Canada
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    Harry ji
    I was not aware that you still wore a turban. What style of turban do you wear?
     
  10. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    BhagatSinghji,

    I am sorry to say I do not, my mad driving days were in my mid twenties, I sported a pony tail from 27 to 29, and then removed the option of going back. But, I sported the strawberry type as opposed to the streamlined kenya/uganda type.

    I cut my hair because, at the time, I believed I was fallen, and in the process severed all ties with sikhism for nearly 16 years. I did not believe I was good enough to be a sikh, I thought I was bad, which is why I feel very strongly that young people, even if they have fallen, do not feel that the path is closed to them, like I did.
     
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  11. BhagatSingh

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    Hmm
    I have never heard of the "strawberry" style. Maybe I don't know turbans as well as I thought.

    It's funny how powerful thoughts can become to the individual who believes in them, as beliefs. You felt you were fallen, the feeling was accompanied by some thoughts you started believing. You now know how false such a notion of being "fallen" is.

    Even this brother is bothered because of some beliefs he holds about what is cool, sin, appropriate, etc.

    PS
    When I was going through your responses on his threads, I noticed how you can be a great guide for young people who feel that way. You went through those feelings at a really deep level, and faced consequences of it. Coming out of that you know the path you took, which you can now share with others.
    I am wondering, at this point in your life, does that whole part of your life seem a like a blessing?
     
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  12. Mai Harinder Kaur

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    Nothing to do with braids, I guess, but I wanted to say that I left the sangat for 20 years and did just about every immoral thing I could think of that wouldn't land me in jail. I tried very hard not to be a Sikh.

    Guess what? It didn't work!

    I learned that it wasn't outward appearance or kakkars - as important as those are (and they are very important) - but something inside of me that made me a Sikh. Something I could hide away and I could even hide from, but still it was there. It was like the old saying, I ran and ran and ran, but everywhere I went, there I was.

    As for braids, my caregiver is a woman from Kenya who informs me that men in Africa do not braid their hair, only women do. The man braid thing, she says, is an American thing and a man in Kenya who braided his hair...well, he just wouldn't. that's all.

    I think one big advantage of being a Sikh is that we need not concern ourselves with hair styles and bad hair days and all that. In fact, by keeping kesh and keeping it simply, we are freed from the tyranny of hair (and hair fashion)!
     
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  13. Navdeep88

    Navdeep88 Canada
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    Sikhboy11 Ji,

    This an indirect solution...but... APPRECIATE and LOVE yourself.

    1)Acknowledge your intellect, talent, skills and ZOOM in, focus on them and work up from there. Pursue school or a career based on them, keeping working away. Be self-sufficient, and learn to stand alone. Theres very little others can genuinely do for you if you don't work on or love yourself first.

    2) Be thankful for what you have received. Keep in mind the opportunities, the lifestyle, the health, the family, the love and support you receive from others. Go way back, think about the circumstance you were born into... I'm sure theres at least one person who has loved you, nurtured you and raised you. Appreciate them; they matter far more than the peers you want to impress. The validation you receive from others by simply changing the way you look may be temporary.
     
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  14. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Bhagatsinghji,

    Strawberry style I would call a pugh like my fathers, basically it looks like a giant strawberry, I suppose some would call it punjabi style.

    Do I look upon the past as a blessing? yes, I am not spiritual enough or wise enough to have found what limited knowledge I know through discourse or study, it has been beaten into me.

    Sikhboy11 by his own questioning of his actions, is clearly destined for greater things than a life of having knowledge beaten into him, when I was where he is, I did not even question it.
     
  15. BhagatSingh

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    Hmm.. is the strawberry right side up or upside down. When looking at the shape?

    Which way is it tilting?

    [​IMG] minus the leafs

    [​IMG]
    Here the side with the leaves forms the top of the turban.

    [​IMG]
    Here the more pointy bit of the strawberry forms the top of the turban.

    [​IMG]
    Here the strawberry is on steroids. You know those hugea*s ones that come in the box, the size of an apple.

    [​IMG]
    Here it is a strawberry from any angle.

    Lol I am confused. Do all of them look like a strawberry or what?

    I don't think I'll ever know what your dad's turban looks like. Also because it has it's own personality, the way he ties a particular larh on a particular day. Further, it has a unique personality on each day. Sometimes it might be slightly different shape, depending on various factors e.g. was it tied in a hurry, very slowly, while angry, or sad, etc. More/less smaller folds appear in one larh of the pagh depending on whether it was ironed or not, you know how much was straightened out.

    The more you look the more there is to be seen in a turban. Lucky you Harry ji, you have the front row seats when it comes to your dad's turban.
    --------------

    Was it beaten into you or was it always there?

    Are things greater because others say they are so
    or
    greater when you look at them and see the amount of depth in them?
     
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  16. Harry Haller

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    Bhagatsinghji

    Many thanks for cheering my day up with that post, that is the second time I laughed out loud today, which is rare for me, my dads pugh, and indeed my own in the past, as I modeled my own on my fathers, was more like the military sikh.

    Actually I never saw dads pugh look any different, it was always pretty consistent, I do remember when we lived in India for a while, dad looking at all the young singhs in their patkas, and deciding to go out in one, dad, unfortunately at the time was not blessed with a huge jura, and when he came downstairs modelling his new blue patka to go to the shops in, we all fell about giggling, as dads jura was more sprout shaped than apple shaped, he stuck to pughs from then on. My father is a perfectionist as far as his pugh is concerned, it was always, and still is, immaculate.

    hmm you had to ruin a nice funny post with serious stuff didnt you

    Bhagatsinghji, I know your style of posts well enough now to understand your underlying meanings icecreamkaur

    your humility will not allow you to be seen as correcting me, so you ask questions, the answers to which, make your point, without making me seem small and silly, thank you brother :grinningsingh:

    yes, thinking about, it was always there, just nobody listened to it
    and things are greater when you look at them and see the amount of depth in those actions
     
  17. BhagatSingh

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    Haha, well thanks for blowing our cover! Now how am I supposed to do that? :grinningsingh:
    We are all small and silly, we just don't realize that most of the time.

    I am this guy standing on a planet, really i am just a speck. Compared with a star the planet is just another speck.
    Think about all of this. Think about the vast emptiness of space... billions and billions of stars, billions and billions of specks!
    ‪Symphony of Science - 'We Are All Connected' (ft. Sagan, Feynman, deGrasse Tyson & Bill Nye)‬‏ - YouTube
     

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