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Interfaith Marriage - Muslim & Sikh

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by makkanz, Feb 3, 2007.

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  1. makkanz

    makkanz
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    Salam and Hello, I would like to pose a question on interfaith marriage. I have heard from many people that marriage between a muslim & sikh is very much frowned upon. I would like to respectfully ask why? I have respect for all religions. I myself am a muslim. I would traditionally not be considered a good muslim given that i don't stictly follow the scriptures of the holy book. I do however believe i am a good person. I always try to do the right thing, make the world better for people who i come across and ofcourse my friends and family. I show respect and love to all. I do recognise the difference between right and wrong and always try to do the right thing. These are my beliefs and i live life according to them ... I believe all people are equal and their beliefs should be respected.Now ... here is my dilemma, i am deeply in love with a sikh girl and vice versa. Please let me clarify that when i mean love i dont mean physical attraction. This is someone who no matter what the situation makes me very happy and vice versa. Someone who completes my life. We both consider each other to be our soul mates. We are very equal in terms of our education, jobs and social standing and have very complimentary values.Everyone tells me that sikh muslim marriage cannot happen, why? i would like to find out first hand from people on this forum. I would like to encourage and logical and robust debate. Please give me the respect i will always give you regardless.Thank you.

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  3. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    i am really amazed why are you asking this question on sikh forum.it is your religion that does allow men to marry women apart from christian and jewish.
    all other religions are considered as kaffir.so its better if you ask this question on muslim forum that why they don't allow you to marry {censored word, do not repeat.} women
     
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  4. makkanz

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    so are you saying there is no reason from the sikh side?
     
  5. makkanz

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    i did not mean to offend .. if i have .. i apologise .. i am ignorant of the beliefs on my side .. i do remember something vaguely about the old religions .. as i said before .. i live my life by my principles ... not by a religious text
     
  6. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    DEAR MAKKANZ

    please don't mind but it is your religion that say that apart from muslims
    all others are kaffir.so how could any sensible parents give their daughter to muslim.majority of muslim men that marry women from other religion ask them
    to leave their faith and convert to islam.as far preference is concerned all parents of any religion want their children to marry within their faith.so their are reason from sikh society also.

    now tell us will you ask her to convert to islam if not then is it acceptable to
    your family and muslim society?
     
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  7. makkanz

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    you have a very valid question and the answer is no. I definately would not ask her to convert. If i did, she would not be who she is. I love her for who she is and that includes her beliefs.You are right, it would not be acceptable to the society. My family would find it very difficult as well, but it is not their decision. It would not change what i feel or change my decision. I find most mulslim cultures (and i use the word culture and not religion) have gone away from the true essence of the religion and are simply following cultural norms that have developed over the years. These are different in different regions and i find a lot of hypocrisy that people just refuse to see. Religions, to me, are about firstly giving you rigours and structures, a framework according to which you lead you life. They are there to guide you and to help you make the right decision. To teach you right and wrong and to teach you things, live love, empathy, humility etc.It is the essence of any religion that is the most important and to me all religions have the same essence if you are true to it.
     
  8. makkanz

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    they teach you very similar values ... just different books ... and a different way of teaching them ...
     
  9. kaur-1

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    A Sikh can only marry a Sikh (see Sikh rehat maryada.) If you want to marry your Sikh friend, the anand karaj (wedding ceremony) will be held in a Gurdwara not a mosque!

    If a non-sikh wants to marry a Sikh, then the advice to that person is start reading up on Sikh history, the Sikhs Guru's - their lives, their teachings, their legacy and most importantly, read and contemplate our Guru Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji. Start with japji Sahib.

    Maybe its your good karma to become a Sikh and a Son/Daughter of Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji.

    Max Arthur Macauliffe, an English writer, delivered a speech at Akaal Bunga, Amritsar in 1899:
    "There is another point to the merit of the Sikh religion that the founders of other religions in this world never wrote even one line with their own hands. You might have heard that there was a very famous Greek philosopher called Pythagoras who had many followers, but he never left behind anything written by him from which we could have known about the principles of his sect. After him came the second Greek philosopher named Socrates who was born in 500 B.C. He became a very famous religious leader who claimed that he was receiving Divine instructions from God within himself, which persuaded him to do good and prohibited from doing any evil deeds. But he too never left anything behind written by him, which could have shed light on his philosophy and its principles. Whatever we know about him, has only come through the writings of his follower, Plato. Besides there came Mahatma Buddh in India and he never wrote anything with his hands. Then came Christ who did not write anything himself either. His teachings are only known through the Bible, which was written by others. Then came Muhammad who was illiterate who also did not write down anything. However the Sikh Gurus acted quite opposite to all these religious leaders that they themselves dictated their message of Truth and compiled Guru Granth Sahib. In this respect the Sikh religion is far ahead than others."


    There is major difference between Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji compared with other religious book. Sri Guru Granth sahib ji is not a mere book but our Guru. Not to be worshiped as an idol but to recognise Shabad Guru - the truth.

    Sri Guru Granth Sahib jee is the only religious scripture written by the Guru’s themselves. No other religion can claim this. The Quran was written not by a prophet, but 30 years after Hazrat Muhammad passed away. Hazrat Muhammad himself was illiterate, so did not write anything. But the Kaa’ba and the Hajj is also a form of big idol worship. The Bible was written by the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, none of them contemporaries of Jesus and written at least 60 years after Jesus.
     
  10. japjisahib04

    japjisahib04 Kuwait
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    Can you give me one single instance where such marriage took place and the Muslim have not left the girl few months after.
     
  11. navroopsingh

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    wow he was so polite to us and yet you near insulted him. You assumed he was lying and one of those muslims who has multiple marriages when he said that he even listed his qualities. you can't meet him in person and therefore can't judge him on his actions so we are left with only his word. If you're gonna insult someone like that...dont even post!
     
  12. MKAUR1981

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    WJKK WJKF

    Shernee and JapjiSahib04

    I agree with NavroopSingh. Whether Makkanz is an imposter or not, he has said nothing offensive, so your comments are totally uncalled for.



    Our Guru's never had any predjudice against people of other faiths. 2 Pathan brothers Ghani Khan and Nabi khan helped Guru Gobind Singh escape the Mughal army, by disguising him as a Muslim saint.
     
  13. makkanz

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    i am not an imposter. I would tell you more about about my situation but as you can pbbly guess it is quite a delicate matter. Anything i say about the situation may cause events to happen before the time is right.All i can say is that my true love knows me inside out. She can look at me and 99% of the time correctly guess what i am thinking and vice versa.My sole reason for posting here was simply to discover if there is a real reason for sikh not marrying a muslim. I respect her beliefs and she respects my values (i am not that religious as i said earlier). The time may (and hopefully will) come soon where we will try to progress this to the next level. There seems to be a bit of a difference of opinions on this topic and from what i have read they seem to geographical.I still dont have a clear answer on what is acceptable. All i see are cultural differences based on geography (muslims are the same). If there are some learned adults out there who can provide a balanced view that would be much appreciated.All i can offer is a generalisation that most religions are struggling to adapt to the western culture (as this is predominant through the world). There needs to be a balance in my view, stick to your core values and adapt the good parts of the western culture. As time progresses, my view is that we need adapt ... or end up being culturally isolated and most elders of our heritage are ....
     
  14. makkanz

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    outside the battles that occurred between muslims and sikhs during the seperation of india/pakistan (let me say we were both the pawns of the british) i cant see any other reason for the animosity ... after all we are all people and in gods view equal ... so why?
     
  15. gurc

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    WJKK WJKF

    In Singapore , if you wish to marry according the Muslims law , both party have to be Muslims. If one party is not Muslim, they have go civil court for marriage. This is allow as Singapore is not Muslim country
    :confused:
     
  16. MKAUR1981

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    Makkanz

    I'm not a learned Sikh as such, but I know that our Sikh Rehat Maryada (conduct of Sikhs) says that both partners should be Sikhs. I'm sure if you look into it you will find that as a Muslim, you can marry a woman of Muslim, Christianity or Jewish faith without any problems. However, many Muslims scholars says that a marriage to a woman of any other faith will not be accepted.

    I'm sorry if I offended you in my post, it was actually a response to others not directed at you. You say that you are not very religious, but one day you may become, how will that affect your marriage then? Will you be happy if your wife goes to the Gurdwara? that she doesn't do Namaz or celebrate Eid? More so, if God is one, would you go the Gurdwara? How about your children? How will family react?

    Basically, the problem in England is there have been several incidents where Muslims guys deliberately date Hindu and Sikh girls and then eventually convert them to Islam. (I have heard some stories where girls have been sold in Pakistan, but not sure how valid these are).

    Hopefully, someone on this forum will be able to give you a more in depth view on Sikh-Muslim marriage from a religious aspect.
     
  17. makkanz

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    civil marriage might be our only option. However, in response to your comments mkaur1981 .. you are right .. the issue of children is an intersting one. What happens in mixed marriages in UK? i have heard of christian/sikh and hindu/sikh marriages .. surely a similar issue arises there .. why is that not a problem????? the impression i get is anyone but muslim is acceptable from a lot of quarters .... why are other different religions acceptable but not islam? really wierd ....
     
  18. MKAUR1981

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    Hi Makkanz

    A lot of people will probably start shouting at this comment, but Hindu/Sikh marriages are probably more "acceptable" as culturally they have more in common. I know Sikhs that go to the temple and Hindu's that go the Gurdwara. However, they still are 2 different religions, even though some festivals overlap eg diwali, raksha Bandan. But how many Muslims would go to a Gurdwara, even if it was just for a wedding? A person of any faith - even a athiest - will be welcome into any Gurdwara in the world, yet would I get the same treatment (as a non-Muslim) in a Mosque without anyone trying to do Da'wah on me?

    As I said before, people have experienced here that if a girl does marry a Muslim, more than likely she will have to convert. I know that you have said you will not ask her to convert, but that is what happens in most circumstances. That is why it is more of an issue when it comes to Sikh-Muslim marriage. I'm sure all mixed-faith marriages have problems, but unfortunately some Muslims men have made it harder for the likes of genuine Muslim men to get married to a Sikh girl's, as there motive is to do Da'wah, convert and bring up children in the Muslim faith.

    What you've have also got to realise is how will your family react. In Islam it says that any children should be brought up in the faith of the father.

    Please do not think I am being negative towards you or Islam. My sister-in-law is married to a Muslim. I am just trying to get you to see it from my point of view, so that you can understand why people react when a Muslim guy wants to/gets married to a Sikh. It's the same all round. How would a Muslim feel if there sister/daughter wanted to marry a Sikh. After all it is the girl who is leaving her family to join a new one. And that's another issue. How will her parents react? Will they accept or end up disowning her her.
     
  19. MKAUR1981

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    Shernee calm down and breathe. For a Sikh, you obviously have a problem calming your anger. And where is it written in the Guru Granth Sahib, to disrespect other faiths?

    The Guru Granth sahib was written by Guru's but it was DIRECT revelation from God. The word is God.

    Since when did we start converting people of other faiths? As Sikhs we can tell people how beautiful Sikhism is, but we don't knock on people's doors and tell them they are doomed if they don't accept Sikhism. That is the beauty of it.

    Shernee, there is a black sheep in every religion. But one should learn to treat others as they would like to be treated. Or more so in your case...if you can't say anything nice, then don't say nothing at all. Makkanz is asking from a religious point of view why Sikh-Muslim marriages are not allowed. If you can answer that then do so. If you can only resort to insults then don't bother!
     
  20. MKAUR1981

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    Shernee,

    I also did mention in my post somewhere regarding the Rehat Maryada, that a Sikh should only marry a Sikh. I don't think there is nothing wrong with telling the potential non-Sikh partner to embrace Sikhism, but you won't do so by insulting him. Every religion has there own beliefs as to why theirs is the "true" religion. You and me know why Sikhism is the truth, but maybe our approach is different, on passing on the message to others.

    Sikhism is not like Islam trying different tactics to convert non-Muslims or knocking on doors like Jehovah's witness. In Islam and Christianity, people impose their religion on us so they get get their reward in heaven for it. Sikhs pray for the better of humanity not for self-gain. Like someone said to me "Do not impose, inspire".

    “Repeat Naam yourself, and inspire others to repeat it as well.” (Ang 290).

    Bhul Chuk Maaf.
     
  21. makkanz

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    ok ... so even though i categorically state taht i will not convert her ... and that interfaith marriages with hindu and christians are acceptable .. the only objection that remains (outside the usual cultural ones) is that i am going agianst my faith?
     
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