Gurfatehji, I have now spent several months in contemplation of my life, and how I can be a better sikh, this is not made any easier by the many many conflicting views that exist not only on the internet, but indeed on this forum. In my view every moment trying to get another to see your point of view, is a moment wasted, after a while, all you are left with is your own mind, and whatever interpretation your mind puts on Gurbani. SO without further ado, here lies my interpretation of Gurbani that I have finally found some peace with, I do not think it was the intention of our Gurus to have us beat ourselves up about how short we fall, as long as we accept that we fall short, I think the problem lies with those that fall short and then manipulate Gurbani to suit their own shortcomings. This is my heartfelt view, and is personal only to me and my circumstances, so I have dispensed with the use of the words, I think, possibly, maybe, I live in a world surrounded by the creation of a force. This force is the pinnacle of duality, it knows everything, it knows nothing, it is in everything, it is in nothing, it responds to all names, it has no name, it is the biggest thing you could imagine, it is the smallest thing, I almost feel like where this force is concerned, take everything you know about it, and embrace the opposite, you still know as much about it as you did before, This force does not care what you do, what you think, what you say, what you eat, however there are consequences to your actions, words, deeds, and if you are savvy, you will know which actions, words, deeds, thoughts are going to bear fruit for you, or bear poison, luck exists, but not in the stars or in rituals, luck is the good fortune of having certain circumstances together which may boost something that will bear you fruit, or ease your poison, so in that sense, we can make our own luck, by keeping our eyes and ears open, and being receptive to moods and circumstances. This force does not need your prayer, you pray for yourself, for your own ends, neither does it need your praise or worship, if you feel the need to express the joy of your living in prayer and worship, great, if you feel the need to express this by sewa, great, however a wise person would explore the words and philosophies as contained in the Guru written manuscripts, and devour them, hungrily to expand their own knowledge base to call upon whilst living,. Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny. I have now basically come full circle back to where I was when I first landed here, the only difference is I have lost the wolf, tamed one of the last of my destructive habits, and now believe in god, and call myself a sikh. However I refuse to beat myself up that I still do not have a turban, still drink, and still love intimacy, I intend to live for a while in this state, till my next big push, and I can honestly say I am quite happy to be me. How Wrong am I?