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General Hate

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by prabhsmart, Feb 16, 2009.

  1. prabhsmart

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    Jan 22, 2009
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    Can we ever get the hate out of ur mind. i have been trying to remove it so that i can concentrate more on Guru's teaching rather than hateing some one.
    But once while returning from office, i meet with something.
    I took an shared autorisha from station to my house. I was sitting in between and a man was sitting to my right with a woman to my left. i observed that the man didn't had an eye, may be its birth defect.I felt sorry for him, i was just imaging how hard it would have been for him. Then my stop came, i got doem. as the ricka was movinf further, the man shouted, "Is it 12o'clock or not, u _____."
    that moment I wished that God would have taken his other eye also.
    My mind and heart was filled with hate and I just wanted to kill him and people like him.
    But then what was the use of trying to control my anger and hate when on such situtation i think of things that i shouldn't.
    Please guide me through this.
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  3. spnadmin

    spnadmin United States
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    1947-2014 (Archived)
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    Jun 17, 2004
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    prabhsmart ji

    Your reaction was normal. What happened stung you and you reacted with hurt and offense. Do not think you are alone. Think what hatred really is about. Take it apart and analyze it like a medical examiner doing an autopsy on a lifeless and stinking corpse. How did it get that way? Hate dwells inside many of us with exceptions, maybe the rare holy man or woman. How do they rise above it?

    Do not hate yourself or even berate yourself for your hatred or it will never go away. The first step is to recognize that it is in your heart. The next steps are difficult but not as difficult as the first step. I am still on that journey. We can walk together if only in mind and heart. Thank you for posting.
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  4. Tejwant Singh

    Tejwant Singh United States
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    Mentor Writer SPNer Contributor

    Jun 30, 2004
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    PrabhSmart ji

    Guru Fateh.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Your getting offended is understandable but when you come to know the real story behind the legend of 12 O' clock, you will start smiling in the future whenever an ignorant yells that at you.

    12 O'clock is the hottest time of the day in the summer time in Punjab as you are aware of it. Muslim fiends, the cruel people used to abduct Hindu women and girls and used to rape them. Sikhs used to go and save them at 12 O'clock because the abductors were all asleep or lazy due to the hot weather.

    Hence the famous saying," Sardar ji, is it 12 O' clock now?". With time it was twisted in a derrogatory way by the Hindus and due to lack of awareness of these events of saving the Hindu girls by the Sikhs from the muslims, some Sikhs started taking this an offense rather than like the badge of honour which it really is.

    So next time if anyone taunts you about 12 O clock, please ask them who has abducted their daughter or sister and you are there to help.

    Hatred is a daily tug of war. People with ill intentions try to provoke us so we can breed this negative energy within. We can learn through Gurbani how to use the Shabads as the antidote to these hateful arrows.

    Remember the Shabads that motivate you in your daily life and when someone provokes you just start uttering those Shabads first loudly then you will see with time you will utter them silently and your anger because of the provocation would start disappearing as the morning mist.

    Good luck and savour your journey. We only have this life to do that.


    Tejwant Singh
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  5. pk70

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    Feb 25, 2008
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    Prabhsmart ji

    What a great post! Open heart out there longing to kill what kills the self. Believe me, a lot of people trying to be your guides (including me) have that share of misery in reality. The only difference is this that you are honest without any cover with a desire to be a nice guy.
    I solute you to be like this, first of all.
    Numerous times, here in US, I encountered people with one eye (metaphor) as you did (in reality). In the beginning, I would give them the same kind of treatment- curse them. My turban was the issue, later on, I would try to educate them by belittling them to come out of a small pond they deluded to be an ocean. I strongly believe, if we do not have Guru Message in our mind to act and we just talk about it, we, as Sikhs, can never respond correctly( though can advise others). Those kinds of encounters are still there, my reactions are changed a little (not significantly), only I am successful in this is not to hate them but ignore them. It works. One time I said “So you think all who wear turbans are Muslims connected to terrorists, guess what, its not true, I am not even Muslim but a Sikh, don’t you feel you should try to know first before showing ignorance about others? Have a nice day!” The guy was quiet, then answered” Oh I didn’t know, well I will be careful now, you too man”. Whatever bad feelings surrounded my heart momentarily disappeared, with a hand shake we said “goodbye” It may not happen in every encounter of this kind.
    The reaction you showed by wishing bad for him is obviously “hatred” but it was coming out of quick reaction, the second beautiful thing happened in your case is to check out this” hatred” and get advice. Many unfortunate do not even do this. At least, another thing which needs to be appreciated is that nothing could stop you to come out to seek guidance, in case of many other people “ego feeding self-righteous feeling’ glued them to a place where they are. You have risen above that, you have moved from that point. I was destined to have “hateful” situations. Words used to hit me really hard, still they hit me but now they have lost their sharpness to injure me so I do not bleed though get pushed in to“annoying situation." I start taking deep breath, wonder why people have to do it since it is not even necessary to do that, then I understand the reality behind all this. There are people out there who may not like your appearance, your views, your inability to praise them (hypocritically), to boost their ego, list goes on. The best step you took is to be honest to yourself and ask for the advice. It alone will scratch the base of hate some how imprinted in the mind. Take a deep breath and start feeling sorry about that person’s hatred and miseries related to that. You will realize the quick effect of that comment will not be as sharp as it appeared first time.
    Forgive me, my post is long but I can relate myself with you and feel comfortable to share with you. Thanks again.:)
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  6. Archived_Member5

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    (previously jeetijohal, account deactivated at her

    Mar 14, 2006
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    Hate is cured or alleviated by understanding. It is an emotion arising from anger, resentment, or other sin natures. Understanding of why this one eyed man may have reacted in a verbally derisory way may lighten your load. Think of any reasons causing him to retort with a flippant remark. Maybe he felt pilloried by your staring at his missing eye, maybe he felt insecure and belittled for his deficiency or inadequacy and was roused too speak out in anger. Maybe he felt you were laughing derisorily at him for his disability, many reasons. A sane and balanced person would not make such a remark, and you should not lose your peace of mind and faith in good people for the actions or words of a stupid man.

    In a civilised society we are all compassionate and respectful of one another. As one advised me years ago, preaching morality and the merits or virtue to the long passed the stage of pious living ruffles feathers, causes others to react in a volitient manner. An understanding of the fallacy of such contradiction gives a balanced viewpoint when addressing any such issues in a particular gathering. There are many verses guiding the good man away from the foolish seeking to colour him in their own ways. To live with head held high and a humbled heart steeped in humility,, to not have greater expectations in the behaviour of others than they are able to meet, to avoid disappointment is the wise outlook.

    There is little point in anger for the words of what obviates by rebuttal a foolish and discourteous person. Rise intellectually and spiritually above such situations and reprobate people. Life is lived in greater peace and personal strength for peace of mind and positive outlook than in seeking fair minded judiciousness in persons lacking in such noble virtue.
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