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Hard Time Keeping My Hair

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by Sanget, Dec 18, 2010.

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  1. Sanget

    Sanget
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    Hello, I am 16 years old. I started keeping my hair 3 years ago. I really regreted making this dicision. Keeping my hair caused me so much trouble in my life. I am also so unhappy with it. I just force myself to keep it cause i do not want to go to hell or be sinful. It is so hard if I want to go out wif my frend, I have to spend so much time making the "jura" and tying the turban. Combing my hair also causes so much pain. I also fell so unconfortable wearing a cloth that covers my forehead all the time. This causes pinples to show up on my forehead. My self confidences has also dropped from 100 to 0. I looked much better went I had short hair compared to how I look now. I also canot play sports lik I use too went i had short hair. Playing sports with a turban and alot of hair is so hard. My turban will easy slide of went playing basketball, football or swimming or went playing etc games if hit by the ball or etc. I fell so so so unhappy wif my life now. How am I going to live the rest of my life like this? I wish I can look like a normal person like everyone and style my hair how ever I wan lik all the other people. Why God made us sikhs to sufer so much by forcing us to keep our hair? It's lik a terrible curse to me.
     
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  3. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Sanget ji

    Sikhs fought wars with turban and won many battle's.In Indian army probably millions of Sikhsoldiers served and won battles for India.As far sports are concerned Its better if you play it with patka rather than turban.Plenty of sikhs play hockey for India ,some with Patka other just tie a hanky on Joora.HarBhajan singh who plays cricket for India also Tie patka
    He has 375 test wickets.Very few players have acheived this feat in test cricket.If His hair would have been problem do you think he could have acheived all this?

    It looks to me that you have problem in skin ,that's why its over sensitive.Its better to consult some doctor.
     
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  4. Ishna

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    Sanget ji

    If you don't mind me asking, why did you make the decision three years ago to keep your hair? What has changed from your mindset then when you decided, to your mindset now?

    You shouldn't force yourself to keep it for fear of going to hell or being sinful. There is no hell, there is only distance from Waheguru. You should keep your hair to keep you close to God. Being close to God is a much better feeling than "looking good with short hair".

    Perhaps you can find other styles of tying your turban which are easier to tie so you can tie them faster? Maybe you need more practice so it's not so much of a burden on you.

    It seems strange that combing your hair should cause you pain. My advice is for your try coming from the bottom and working your way up to detangle it. Have you checked your scalp - maybe you have a problem with your scalp?

    I've never worn a turban and I've had pimples for 15 years. Some people just get it worse than others. My advice for that would be to wash your face thoroughly and frequently, in the morning and in the evening at least. You may want to try one of the cleansing products you can get from the supermarket -- they make ones especially for men and for teens so you should be able to find one you're comfortable about using.

    Kanwardeep ji gives good advice about sports.

    You feel so unhappy with your life and feel it is a curse because you made a decision (ie a choice) to grow your hair and wear a turban like a Sikh? What do you think about the Sikhs 500 years ago who got their scalps cut off for keeping their hair? They wouldn't give it up, they wouldn't abandon their Guru. At least you have a choice to keep your hair or not, and your not about to be killed for making the choice.

    Waheguru doesn't force us to keep our hair. Guru Gobind Singh Ji told us to keep our hair as part of the uniform of being a khalsa, a soldier saint. You're already half way there, don't give up now. You've been blessed with this opportunity which most of the world's population don't get. Don't throw away your Sikhi, it's such a special chance for you to meet God.

    I have much admiration for Singhs who keep their hair and wear their turbans with pride. I understand it must be incredibly difficult for you, but if you perservere with faith and love for Waheguru you'll come out the other end with so much self confidence and satisfaction knowing you faced something so difficult and got through it!!

    Hang in there!! You're doing a really good job by keeping your hair and wearing your turban!

    Ishna
     
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  5. a.mother

    a.mother Canada
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    Sanget ji , Welcome here on SPN, why because these are very good and warm hands to give you right direction. ISHNA ji and Kanwerdeep ji told you lot but still I can add bit more. First thing I am proud that you desided to keep long hair but now...... ....Ok I don't think if there is a that much problem in keeping long hair. I will suggest you that Patka is a very practical for your age and for sports too. ( my own son played soccer) Its never -ever opened or loosened and no one even-ever dare to touch his patka. you have to be stronge what you have desided for keeping long hair. Many Indian hockey players play hockey like sports with juda and patka, cricketer Harbhajan Singh is a exmple. Why you feel shy with your freinds when you go out. There is a primeminister of India Sardar Manmohan Singh He is alone primeminister in whole world with turban. Sikhs with kesh and turban were in the world war. Even in guru sahib 's time when it was hardest time for Sikhs to live they faught for us, for all humanity.
    For your patka I can suggest you that when you do juda put one or two rubber-band then rumaal then again rubber-band (that way your juda 'll never be loosen when you play ) then you can tie Patka . Patka is a very-2 practical for sports.
    And for your pimple on face that is because of hormones those are not from patka or kesh. Mostly everybody starts in their teenage years , and they 'll go one day you can clean your face time to time. Don't be upset because of kesh they are God's blessing and remember that whatever God gave us there is a reason for that. Kesh don't need that much extra time see ladies took how much time to get ready(some men too) You are a young boy you are quicker then anybody else. OH REMEMBER FLYING SIKH MILKHA SINGH olympic champian he wears turban. I am sending you information from google
    International career

    Milkha Singh represented India in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics, his first Olympic event. Although he couldn’t fare quite well at the event being less experienced at the time, he learnt a lot from the competition to prepare himself well for the future meets. After winning Gold in Cardiff, Wales, UK in the 1958 Commonwealth games and accepting the gold with a full head of hair, due to his Sikh faith, he became known throughout the world of Athletics.
    Around the same time, he was invited to run in Pakistan but was unsure due to the events of his childhood. He was persuaded as people were afraid of the political ramifications if he refused on these grounds. He decided to run.
    In the race Milkha Singh destroyed his opposition, easily winning. This is where he became known as the Flying Sikh.
    I feel like now you can go with your friends with choudi chhati ( OPEN CHEST)don't be nurvous or anything. I would like to hear from you soon .
     
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  6. Archived_Member16

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    Kesh (hair):

    The keeping of uncut hair is given a great deal of
    importance in Sikhism. But what is so special about
    hair?

    Historical significance: Well the history of hair
    goes back to the Bible. The Bible talks of a man
    called Sampson who obtained supernatural powers
    through his long hair. His hair was later cut and
    consequently he lost his powers.

    It is also a fact that most of the world’s prophets
    and saints including Jesus, the Sikh Gurus and
    Hindu prophets kept uncut hair.

    Meaning: G. A. Gaskell writes, ‘Hair of the head is
    a symbol of faith, intuition of truth, or the highest
    qualities of the mind.’ - Dictionary of all Scriptures

    Sikhs believe God to be a perfect creator. It
    therefore follows that whatever He creates is
    perfect. The keeping of uncut hair is therefore,
    recognition of God’s perfection and the submission
    of a Sikh to the Will of God.

    Function: Most Sikhs regard hair as a gift from
    God. But what does this gift actually do for us? Well
    the functions of hair can be divided into 5 sub
    categories. These include an ornamental function,
    physical function, psychological function, Sikh
    specific function and a spiritual function.

    Ornamental function: Nature has decorated a
    man with a beard and a moustache to differentiate
    between a male and a female. A good example from
    the animal kingdom is a lion with its majestic mane.

    Physical function: Just like the skin, the hair helps
    to synthesize vitamin D from sunlight. It also helps
    to supply the piturary gland (located in the head)
    with phosphorous. Phosphorous is an element
    which is used in meditation by the aforesaid gland.
    The hair on our body regulates body temperature
    and our eye lashes, nostril hairs and ear hairs help
    to keep out dust particles.

    Psychological function: This is by far, one of the
    most important functions of hair. People cut their
    hair to look good for other people, and although
    everyone wants to look sexy and cool, a Sikh is
    encouraged to impress God and not bother so much
    about the opinions of everyone else. Keeping hair
    therefore encourages us to become less vain and
    more God orientated.

    Sikh specific function: Uncut hair is a mark of Sikh
    identity. The 10th Sikh Guru instructed all his Sikhs to
    come before him with long hair and weapons. Long
    hair also represents sacrifice, because there have
    been many Sikhs like Bhai Taru Singh, who preferred
    to have their scalp removed instead of their hair cut.

    Spiritual function: Hair enhances the ability of a
    human being to experience God. This can be
    explained by understanding the workings of
    electromagnets. An electromagnet consists of an iron
    rod with a coil of wire wrapped around it. The strength
    of an electromagnet can be increased by increasing
    the number of coils. Now in a human being, there are
    nine visible inlets/outlets (2 nostrils, 2 ear holes, 1
    mouth, 2 eyes, 2 below the waistline). And the 10th
    inlet is located in the head and is invisible. It is called
    the Dasam Dawar. This is where we experience the
    reality of God and we can consider this to be the iron
    rod. Hairs are like coils of wire which amplify spiritual
    energy at the 10th inlet. A greater quantity of head
    hair will lead to more coils in the (Joora) knot and
    therefore a higher concentration of spiritual energy. Of
    course, it is possible to experience God without any
    head hair like Buddhists. However anything that helps
    us to experience God more easily should be
    welcomed. Hair is essentially a spiritual technology
    that makes it easier to connect with God.

    Conclusion:
    Wearing 5K’s does not automatically make a good
    Sikh and in addition to this, wearing the 5 K’s without
    understanding their purpose is silly. The 5 K’s are not
    meaningless symbols, but instead are items which aid
    us in living a life revolving around God and submission
    to His Will.

    Produced by Satnam--Network (Derby)
    http://www.{url not allowed}/oldsikhnet/SikhEducation/5K's.pdf
     
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  7. Chaan Pardesi

    Chaan Pardesi United Kingdom
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    Pardon for my ignorance, But I dont think the original mail is honest or authentic.To start with, every Sikh knows what to do when playing sports, or go swimming.I question when the writer says "...My turban will easy slide of went playing basketball, football or swimming or went playing etc games if hit by the ball or etc. .."NO SIKH goes swimming with a turban on.

    Playing football with a turban is not impossible nor any more different than any other person.I have noticed a number of such write ups which make Sikh rehat maryada look silly or belittled.

    I also recognise that it is impossible to tell the truth from lies on the net, but reading between the lines, the writer simply intends to make Sikhs uncomfortable about their religion.

    My suggestion to this writer is ...keeping hair will not make your trip to heaven a gurantee , cutting it will not send you on a trip to hell.

    But for a Sikh keeping the hair is essentuial article of the faith, along with doing the duties enshrined in Sikhi.It certainly made me a 100% confident, when I decided to become Sikh; and all the worldy challenges were nothing more than a step by step hurdle I had to walk.

    Instead wallowing in self pity, I suggest, you read about Sikh history and understand the significance of the hair; perhaps the road of Sikhi will become less difficult.


    I am sorry, I have no time for wallowing in moans....just think, if the sahibzade had moaned like you...there would have been no more Sikhs or their history.I must thank the rest of the posts that followed with good sound advice...
     
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  8. Harry Rakhraj

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    Having unshorn hair has nothing to do with God. It's one's identity, dictated by one's very own choice. Initially it might be a part of inheritance, by virtue of birth. But ultimately it is one's own choice. It is an identity that announces to the whole wide world who and what you are, what your values are and what you stand for.

    For a young person growing up in a 'foreign' land, unshorn hair might pose some inconvenience that might be called minor irritants. But these would pale into insignificance if one understood the intangibles this physical state stands for--fearlessness, compassion, sacrifice, generosity.....

    If the great intangibles intrinsic to Sikhi, or being a Khalsa, are missing from one's innermost core, keeping the hair unshorn, or otherwise, are both equally meaningless.
     
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  9. skeptic.freethinker1

    skeptic.freethinker1 United States
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    Who told you that?? This is what happens when people try to scare youngsters into religious compliance by making up stuff. What they don't realise is that such tactics almost always backfire at a later stage.
    Whether you keep your hair or not, it's your decision. You won't be committing a sin either ways.
    I don't think keeping your hair is as important as to do it for the right reasons. And I'm pretty sure that the reason you quoted above is absolutely wrong.

    I don't believe in the concept of heaven and hell but for a moment let's assume that they do exist. Now suppose there are two exemplary humans who both help there fellow humans at every chance they get. One of them has hair and other one doesn't. Do you think God would send one to hell and another to heaven just because of hair.
    It's good if you keep your kesh. But don't do it for the wrong reasons.

    Also, don't let anyone tell you that our Gurus sacrificed themselves and their families just so that we could keep long hair. It's like saying someone sacrificed themselves for our right to keep mohawks. (google it if you don't know what it is)
    The purpose our Gurus's sacrifice was much greater but people often forget that. They were fighting the religious persecution by Mughals. They were fighting for the right to choose their own religion.(sikh or hindu) They were fighting to protect Hinduism as much as to protect Sikhism.

    But if you are truly intent on keeping your kesh, the physical challenges you mentioned can be easily dealt in various ways as mentioned by the forum members who have posted before me.
     
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  10. Harry Rakhraj

    Harry Rakhraj
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    I do not subscribe to any of the claims made by those supporting
    'unshorn hair'.
    I do not disagree with the logic of skeptic.freethinker1, either.

    Somehow the whole thing brings to mind this famous quote:
    "I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding
    everything I cannot explain as a fraud."
    - C.G.Jung
     
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  11. spnadmin

    spnadmin United States
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    I apologize that I cannot be online 24/7 to monitor each and every comment made at SPN. However --- The next time I have to delete a message based on its lack of civility there will be consequences.
     
  12. skeptic.freethinker1

    skeptic.freethinker1 United States
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    SPNAADMIN ji,


    Deleted material. See below for explanation.


    Admin note:

    There is a difference between "lying" and posting information that is considered "scientifically untrue." Lying carries with it the conscious intention to deliberately mislead. Almost anything coming from the realm of spiritual belief, including a claim of the existence of God, could and has been considered "lying." Not everyone however agrees, and therefore we have nonbelievers and believers alike, who state their views. However, it is possible to dispute the truth of something without referring to the person who made a statement that is difficult to believe a liar. You may have noticed that I have not agreed with those comments either. The fact is I do not. But I did not stoop to the level of telling another member he was a liar. We simply do not agree.

    skeptic.freethinker ji You do not own this forum. It is your right to post your views and we have allowed you to do that. It is also the right of other members to post their views within the boundaries of TOS. You step outside of those boundaries when you cut to the core of another person's integrity. There is nothing more to say on this matter.

    Abusive comments have been deleted.


    This is what the truth is:-


    • Vitamin D is NOT synthesized by our hair. It's only synthesized by our skin. In fact deficiency of Vitamin D will make hair fall off.
    • Phosphorous is NOT created by hair either. And hair don't supply it anywhere.
    • Our head is NOT like an electromagnet. Hairs are bad conductors of electrons and so can't be used as coils. Just adding some technical terms to your beliefs don't add any weight to them.
    Reason I am pointing these out is because I have gone through the same phase as the person who started this thread. And I know that youngsters with even a remote science education can see through these 'supposedly scientific' claims. And it only pushes them even further away.

    Please don't try to pass your spiritual beliefs as scientific facts. State them for what they are and you might be able to convince some people.

    Deleted material. Explanation given above.
     
  13. Mai Harinder Kaur

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    Yes, keeping kesh is hard. There are so many reasons given for keeping or not keeping one's hair unshorn. For me there is only one reason: my Guru asks this of me and I love and trust my Guru. One reason that is not a reason is fear of going "to hell or being sinful." Fear is usually a bad reason for doing anything; it is doubly so here.

    A few weeks ago, my medical caretaker, Irene - yes, good ol' TGI, asked me what would happen to me if I cut my hair. Would I be thrown out of the Sikh religion? Would I go to hell? Would God be very angry at me? The answer was a definite NO to all those questions. The worst that would happen to me is that I would no longer be a(n aspiring) Khalsa until and unless I took Amrit again. Of course, some more traditional members of the sangat would condemn me. It's also likely that those of the Mona Morcha - who believe that kesh is meaningless and/or outdated and should be discarded - would congratulate me.

    For me personally, I would be betraying something that is deeply meaningful to me, no matter what opinion others may have. For me, keeping kesh is an integral part of being a Sikh. Without it, I would be missing what is to me a vital part of the experience of being a Sikh. In high school, especially, I caught a lot of flak not shaving my legs and armpits. That only made me dig in and hold firm. "They think they can make me be like them? Ha! That's just not Mai." I cannot say that sort of defiance is good or bad; I can only say that is me.

    Sanget ji, I frankly think your "reasons" are excuses. I am not trying to be rude to you, but every "reason" you give can be easily overcome. As has been said there have been Sikh soldiers, athletes, firefighter, Sikhs in every legitimate pursuit who have kept kesh. Please be honest with yourself. At 16, you probably feel grown-up or nearly so. That's natural, but you are still really very young. At your age, peer acceptance - which I believe is really what this is all about - can be paramount. My suggestion is that you look deep inside yourself and make the courageous decision to pursue "truthful living" whatever that means to you.

    On a very personal note, I have come to love my hair, all of them. And I personally would love to see every Sikh seeing and understanding the meaning of keeping kesh, enjoying their natural being. I admit that I love the Khalsa roop. I find men and women who "look like Sikhs" to be extremely attractive. However, I am realistic enough to know that is not going to happen.

    So Sanget ji, I throw it right back to you. What is "truthful living" to you? I can answer only for myself. You must find your own answers.
     
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  14. spnadmin

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    This thread is temporarily closed with the intent of ending the endless taunting of another forum member, despite several warnings. Mai Harinder Kaur has the last word. Thank you. spnadmin
     
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