- Jan 31, 2011
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The drugs are making me fuzzy, I am in two minds as to whether I should keep taking them, I was in the butchers yesterday, buying some duck eggs for the ferrets, and the butcher looked at me and said 'harry, have you been smoking something bad', 'of course not' , I replied, and then promptly walked into his veg display and knocked it over.
Ok , good points, no sex drive, no stress, no anger, no frustration, no irritation,
bad points, its artificially induced, I have learned nothing, there is no wisdom, no understanding, no enlightenment, I have not come to any sort of peace with my inner self, I am merely relying on chemicals to balance me, and another thing, Skoda make this great car, the superb, and it is huge, and economical, has a 1.4 litre engine, and also, James Blunt makes great music.
I had dinner with my stepson today, he remarked he preferred me when I was mad, 'how can I say this Harry, but your just a bit boring at the moment', he is right, I feel boring, I am flatlined,
I almost feel writing this blog is pointless, what am I going to write about, knitting patterns maybe, or cooking tips, somehow, the struggle between man and wolf seems a lot more glamorous than what is currently in my head, at present, I cannot imagine the torture that I used to call life, all madmen grow old though, and if they do not mellow with age, they die, they burn out in a brilliant implosion, the truth is, if I did not have a wife, a stepson, a mum and dad, a brother, my dogs, (not the cat, I don't like the cat), then I would probably choose to burn out, I could do a lot in two years, it would be a lucid dream, with no consequences, dead already, its my birthday today, I have left Sian, Tom and the animals at home, they wanted to watch a film with me, but Sian caught my eye, and she knew , she knew that I needed the solitude I craved, the solitude I crave every birthday, to look back, think, so I left them in bed, with the dogs, and a big tub of ice cream, to come here to the shop, to play cat stevens, to sing along to 'wild world', and look back at my life
So many cars, so many loves, friends, some dead, I guess we all have to grow up sometime, I wonder if that Skoda comes with an extended warranty and dog guard
Ok , good points, no sex drive, no stress, no anger, no frustration, no irritation,
bad points, its artificially induced, I have learned nothing, there is no wisdom, no understanding, no enlightenment, I have not come to any sort of peace with my inner self, I am merely relying on chemicals to balance me, and another thing, Skoda make this great car, the superb, and it is huge, and economical, has a 1.4 litre engine, and also, James Blunt makes great music.
I had dinner with my stepson today, he remarked he preferred me when I was mad, 'how can I say this Harry, but your just a bit boring at the moment', he is right, I feel boring, I am flatlined,
I almost feel writing this blog is pointless, what am I going to write about, knitting patterns maybe, or cooking tips, somehow, the struggle between man and wolf seems a lot more glamorous than what is currently in my head, at present, I cannot imagine the torture that I used to call life, all madmen grow old though, and if they do not mellow with age, they die, they burn out in a brilliant implosion, the truth is, if I did not have a wife, a stepson, a mum and dad, a brother, my dogs, (not the cat, I don't like the cat), then I would probably choose to burn out, I could do a lot in two years, it would be a lucid dream, with no consequences, dead already, its my birthday today, I have left Sian, Tom and the animals at home, they wanted to watch a film with me, but Sian caught my eye, and she knew , she knew that I needed the solitude I craved, the solitude I crave every birthday, to look back, think, so I left them in bed, with the dogs, and a big tub of ice cream, to come here to the shop, to play cat stevens, to sing along to 'wild world', and look back at my life
So many cars, so many loves, friends, some dead, I guess we all have to grow up sometime, I wonder if that Skoda comes with an extended warranty and dog guard
