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Convincing A Sikh Girl To Marry A Sikh Boy

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by harvinder71, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. harvinder71

    harvinder71
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    My cousin is interested in marrying a Hindu guy who she has fallen in love with. My large family is all Sikh.
    Can people suggest how can we convince her to marry a Sikh Guy. One suggestion also has come to ask the guy to become Hindu. Any suggestions will be appreciated.


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  3. kaur-1

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    ".....come to ask the guy to become a SIKH you mean?"
     
  4. Huck_Finn

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    :)

    its funny to even think of asking someone to change religions... it must come from inside..

    interesting question though... how do sikh rehat have a take on this?

    does a sikh become non sikh if they marry a non sikh?

    and another point...may i dare to ask... how can you say that the girl is a sikh?

    does she follow all the rehat ?

    we have had many interesting debates on that...who is sikh and who is not
     
  5. jag69

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    There is no reason to tell her to marry a guy who is Sikh rather than Hindu. A Sikh guy could turn out to be a complete tosser. So that is the wrong reason.

    A reason you could use is religions are quite different, historically they are tight arses, they are not warriers and play political games. But that is only generally speaking of course....not focusing on the man.

    You cannot push her out of it...you must provide valid arguments and logical thoughts in this one.
     
  6. harvinder71

    harvinder71
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    We have a large family and all family is married totally in Sikhs. She is the first one marrying out and I am thinking that life will become very hard for her not only because Sikhism has totally denounced Hinduism but also Sikhi if you follow seriously helps you live a very happy content spiritual life as well. My question is what points can we make to help her marry a sikh guy so she sees the value of marrying in Sikh Religion.
     
  7. Pyar_Is_Life

    Pyar_Is_Life
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    i really dont think its a good idea to force the girl into marrying a sikh guy instead because if she fell in love with this hindu guy,that means she fell for the person and probably doesnt care about the religion aspect.i mean as long as the guy respects her, then its good. The guy can follow his religion and she can follow Sikhi. Religion shouldnt be an issue when it comes to the matters of the heart. As one writer said "Love is bottling the common sense and uncorking the imagination." :yes:
     
  8. jasi

    jasi
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    Pyar or love when it happens with any soul is a realy eternal . One do not have to prove by marring other. That is not the end of love . Love ,it makes no differences what group or faith you have come from as love is main teachings of all the relegions.Any institutinalnal approch towards any relegion has caused vast indiiferences among the society and division by forgetting that there is one God and Love is the only truth exist.

    But if you are making a choice by your liking or infatuations one has to be very serious to commit life long union considering not only love weather the couple is ready to accept each other's traditions and life styles.

    Because after some time when you hit the real life as a married couple ,the love evporate and more responsabilities surround you.That is where your real love colors will appear when unforseen problems start rising from family and fiancial problems. You better be rich otherwise love will not be served in the plate to live and feed your childerens.

    So marry a person because you both knows that it is your choice. Good luck.

    jaspi

     
  9. jasi

    jasi
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    Pyar or love when it happens with any soul is a realy eternal . One do not have to prove by marring other. That is not the end of love . Love ,it makes no differences what group or faith you have come from as love is main teachings of all the relegions.Any institutinalnal approch towards any relegion has caused vast indiiferences among the society and division by forgetting that there is one God and Love is the only truth exist.

    But if you are making a choice by your liking or infatuations one has to be very serious to commit life long union considering not only love weather the couple is ready to accept each other's traditions and life styles.

    Because after some time when you hit the real life as a married couple ,the love evporate and more responsabilities surround you.That is where your real love colors will appear when unforseen problems start rising from family and fiancial problems. You better be rich otherwise love will not be served in the plate to live and feed your childerens.

    So marry a person because you both knows that it is your choice. Good luck.

    jaspi

     
  10. Randip Singh

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    From what I have observed, marriages between Punjabi Hindu's and Sikhs happen and seem to go on ok, because many Punjabi Hindu's believe in the Guru's.

    It maybe an idea to ask this guy to become a Sikh because of family objections, but if your family do not accept him then life for her will be hell.
     
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  11. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Marriage's between punjabi hindu's and sikhs goes on But in more than 90% of cases it is the girl That ends up losing her religion.If a punjabi hindu girl marries a sikh guy then she slowly start following sikhism the other hand when a sikh girl marries hindu boy then she too abandon sikhism slowly.I have both the cases in my family .Now whether you call it social or culture pressure But this happens quite often
     
  12. Rajveer2287

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    Let her marry...That's all....In my view. no Sikh girl has respect for Sikh guys so let them do what they want. Otherwise, if you marry these girls, your life will be hell. So, my suggestion is let them loose, and live your life as you want. I just did the same and I am happy. My sister is married with a hindu, since her marriage, I have never saw her face. In this way, she is happy and I am happy.
     
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  13. findingmyway

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    Thats a bit of an unfair generalisation!!

    Anyway this thread is from 2006 so the original poster is unlikely to read this.
     
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  14. Harkiran Kaur

    Harkiran Kaur Canada
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    I never understood how people could change their religion for love or marriage... religion... or more appropriately spirituality, is the path that you truly believe. CHanging religion just to appease people of another family is wrong... because it would be in show only. True religion comes from within. In the same way that you can be born into a Sikh family, but if you don't actually believe in it, I don't know how you can call yourself a Sikh. You have to put your whole heart into it and devout your life to reaching God. Whatever your true beliefs are, that is your religion / spirituality.

    As for convincing someone to marry another of a certain religion, you can try to talk to her, and show her that it is in her best interest to find someone who has the same beliefs and is on the same spiritual path. But I have known plenty of successful marriages between two people of different faiths and they made it work. As for the children, they chose to let their kids chose their own path when they were old enough... and taught them both when they were younger. That could have caused some confusion for the kids... but it really didn't. It helps if the two religions are at least similar though....
     
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  15. TigerStyleZ

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    Why try to convince somebody? Take him like he is or let him go.... Its useless , why do you want someone who does not have interested in any things you do? How you can call her a Sikh , when she is ready to leave religion for someone else? There are guys too leaving - it arent just the 'women' ... There are enough women and does matter which religion they are born in will love you like you are....
     
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  16. GSingh1984

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    In response to the Hindus an gurus thing since thread old anyway; theres millions of nanakpanthis just the show had to give brit census a definition; punjab and sind are/were sikh Muslims had healthy respect and knowledge of it. Idk bout 42 year man and 9 year girl tho..

    What exactly are you trying to say? spnadmin
     
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    #15 GSingh1984, Apr 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2013
  17. kanwaljs

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    First, Answer my question that if someone has an Aeroplane's ticket in his pocket, then should he will like to travel in a Bus ? Certainly, Not. Like this you should read the below lines and can decide yourself.


    Not to loose the True Guru’s Grace




    The birth as a human being is very difficult, before taking birth as a human one has to take birth in 84 lakhs ‘yonis’ according to one’s deeds. If someone percives birth as human being he/she has to find a good teacher (guru) to attain eternal happiness and peace in his/her own life. It requires MUCH LABOUR to find a 'poora guru' (complete and perfect teacher), who helps in one’s journey of mind and conduct to attain eternal happiness and peace. In other words , IT IS VERY DIIFFICULT TO GET BIRTH AS A HUMAN BEING AND IT IS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO GET BIRTH IN A SIKH FAMILY OR ANYHOW NEARNESS TO ‘POORA GURU’. As we (Sikh) got the nearness of ‘poora guru' (complete and perfect teacher) by our past good deeds, as baani says
    'purab likhat likhe gur paeiya' -4th Guru Nanak, Ang 13 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    'Bhag hova gur sant milaya,
    prabh abinasi ghar mean payiya' -5th Guru Nanak, Ang 97 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    We could have achieved more benefits from 'poora guru' and can proceed further, but not to WASTE our past hard labour of good deeds BY GOING AGAINST THE SIKH PRINCIPLES.

    It is easy to become a Doctor, an Engineer, a Pilot or any other good professionalist but it is very difficult to earn 'Dharma' by making good deeds in our life. So, one should not waste this type of labour by going against the sikh traditions.

    The importance of ‘poora guru' is very great, as baani says

    'poorea gur ka sun updesh,
    parbrahm nikat kar pekh' (sukhmani Sahib)-5th Guru Nanak, Ang 295 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    Our great Guru directly connects us to the God Almighty and God is in His nature, as even 1st GURU NANAK’s baani says

    ‘balihari kudrat vasiya, tera ant na jayi lakhiya’-Guru Nanak, Ang 463 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    japji Sahib’s 1st pauri says ‘Hukam rajai chalana Nanak likhiya naal’ ,as we have to follow His DIVINE WILL and respect the NATURE. -Guru Nanak, Ang 01 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    HAIRS ON THE HUMAN BODY IS BY NATURE, AND GOING AGAINST THIS NATURE COULD ATTRACT HIS DISPLEAURE FOR A SIKH.
    The God in his Will and wisdom has created the complete human being. To interfere with the God given body by circumcision, puffing a hole in the ear or nose and cutting or dyeing the hair are prohibited and treated as disobedience to God’s Will. A God fearing person can never prefer his will and wish to prevail over the God’s Will and can never make any alterations in the God gifted boon, which could attract His displeasure.

    Guru Nanak Sahib gives the highest place to ‘Nimarta’ (‘hirdey di garibi’) and saying that
    ‘Naam beej santokh suhaga rakh garibi veas’ -Guru Nanak, Ang 565 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    When a person becomes very humble (having ‘Nimarta’) he becomes prideless and he obeys God’s divine order or His will very happily.
    ‘Kudrat kare jhano, jot is bhave nanaka hukam soi parvano -Guru Nanak, Ang 25 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    ‘Nanak hukme je bujhe ta huame kahe na koe’ -Guru Nanak(Japji Sahib), Ang 1 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    According to the principles of Guru Nanak in Sri Guru Granth Sahib it is also written like that
    ‘Sabat surat dastaar sira’ -5th Guru Nanak, Ang 1084 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    ‘Kar kirpa Apna daras dije jas gavao nis ar bhor,
    Kes sang das pag jharao ehoo manorath mor’ -5th Guru Nanak, Ang 500 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    One who loves God, who equally loves His creatures. Guru sahib praises the symbols of ‘sargun sarup’ of Akalpurakh (God) in human being, then says like that

    ‘Tere banke loen dant risaala, sohne nak jin lamde wala’ -Guru Nanak, Ang 567 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji


    In whole of Sri Guru Granth Sahibji (Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji) on almost every Ang (page) there is written about
    (i) ‘Kudrat’ (Nature)
    (ii) ‘Bhana’ (will of GOD)
    (iii) ‘Hukam’ (divine order)
    (iv) ‘Nimarta’ (humble and politeness) or prideless
    All of the above qualities very clearly implies that every sikh must be keshadhari.
    All the sikh gurus respected the nature and were ‘keshadhari’ and so were their Sikhs. GURU GOBIND SINGHJI MADE THE ‘REHAT’ FROM GURU NANAK’S PRINCIPLES.

    The 'bea-adabi of ‘keshas' is the 'ghor apmaan of our great gurus'. The punishment of such type of deed is written in gurbani as


    'sant kea dukhan trigad jon kirmaye' (sukhmani Sahib)-5th Guru Nanak, Ang 279 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

    Sikh who cuts his hairs is called ‘patit sikh’. The 'patit sikh' even CAN NOT get birth as human being, but will get birth in the bad and lowest 'yonis'.

    Many things does not change, God (nature) has grown hairs on the human body and still human babies beings born with hairs on their body and when they grown up, more hairs are grown on their body as beard and moustache. Our sikh gurus tried to directly connect us to the God and His nature.
    ‘Pooja Akal ki’ -Guru Gobind Singh
    ‘Khalsa Akal Purukh ki fauj’ -Guru Gobind Singh
    ‘balihari kudrat vasiya,
    tera ant na jayi lakhiya’-Guru Nanak, Ang 463 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji ‘duyi kudrat saajiea kar aasan ditho chaoo’ -Guru Nanak, Ang 463 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji
    ‘sachchi teri kudrat sachhea paatshah’ -Guru Nanak, Ang 463 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji



    Sikh religion is a way of life. Keeping hairs is a natural God gift. Starting from our 1st Guru Nanak, he emphasis on love for nature. He says that nature is the form of God ("Balihari kudrat vasia, tera ant na jayi lakhia"). So going against nature is not good. When one cuts his hairs, hairs comes again and again. It shows that God's strong desire that man should be with hairs. Guru Nanak also preached that human should obey the orders of God and should be happy and satisfied always with the God's will. That is the very reason that sikh people do not cut their hairs. Other sikh Gurus also followed Guru Nanak's path. Guru Nanak honored this God's will in sikh religion, but every human when loves God deeply, he is developing the habit of not to cut his hairs and give honor to God almighty.


    So, it is fundamental rule for Sikhs not to cut their hairs.
    Today’s science is also saying that hairs are beneficial to human.

    We (Sikhs) all are the sons and daughters of Great Guru Gobind Singh ji, we should accept the sikh traditions with courage and happiness as the children of lion and not to cut our hairs.

    Mod note: personal email removed.
    SPN Terms of Service clearly state that any Gurbani needs to be posted in context of it's full shabad with English translation. The above post doesn't provide that. It also doesn't cite it's source. Please me mindful of these rules.

    Furthermore this post is quite far from the actual thread discussion and is liable for removal. Please seek threads relating to kesh if you want to discuss keeping kesh.
     
    #16 kanwaljs, Jan 30, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2014
  18. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    no, your thinking of Hinduism

    Hmm still Hinduism, the only perfect teacher in Sikhism is the SGGS

    What is the point of physically agreeing with Sikh principles just to achieve a state of supposed Nirvana, when mentally we do not understand why we are doing such?

    I was not aware that Sikhism operated a carrot and stick approach, again, I think you are thinking of Hinduism, the only reason a Sikh does good deeds is because it is the true and right thing to do, nothing else.

    his? who is this he you talk about, the Sikh creator has no form, no sex, I see we are now venturing into the Abrahamic, as for displeasure, you clearly have not read your Mool Mantra, read it again, you will find that creator has no enimity, the angry god you are thinking of belongs to those of the book.

    You make a mockery of Sikhism, you bring it down to the level of a large stick with which to beat people with, Sikhs do not fear 'god', Sikhs fear being apart from the connection to Creator, the words you use, prohibited, disobediance, they belong to the Taliban... Sikhs love Creation and Creator and only wish to live the qualities of Creator, it is a love thing, a pleasure thing, not a fear thing.


    they do not seem that clear to me, are you making this up as you go along? Every Sikh should be keshdhari, but it is between every Sikh and Creator, it has nothing to do with you now does it?

    Now how can Sikhism profess to being a modern and non ritualistic, non superstitious way of life when people keep spouting this? The Creator we speak of as true is happy to play games with lives depending on folicles?

    Has it ever occured to you that this might be nothing to do with hair, has it ever occured to you that this issue might be more to do with being free to grow hair rather than the hair itself? Do you think the many shaheeds that died did it for folicles? or do you think maybe they wanted to make a stand, maybe the hair represents a persons right to practice whatever religion they wished in whatever way they wished without being persecuted, and with pride? Why do we waste time justifying the whole hair issue? It is in our code that we should keep hair if we wish to become Khalsa, is that not enough
     
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