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General Can Men and Women Be Friends ?

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by singhbj, Dec 26, 2008.

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  1. singhbj

    singhbj
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  3. shearwater

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    Absolutely! There is a caveat that married men and women remain faithful to their spouses at all levels and that a certain decorum be maintained that keeps those sacred marriage bonds inviolate. I think, for example, that researchers who work on the same projects at a college or university can be friends in their mutual quest for knowledge. This is friendship at the mental level of mutual appreciation for achievements, etc..
     
  4. singhbj

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  5. spnadmin

    spnadmin United States
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    Ji's all!

    I have never been able to answer this question for myself. It really depends on the meaning of "friend." After reading Shearwater's response I am now convinced the answer is "yes" but the emotional maturity and the nobility of life-purpose must be there. Thanks for creating closure for me.:)
     
  6. anders

    anders
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    From my experience and point(s) of view, I don't even understand why the question needs to be put. I'm as puzzled as when a boss-to-be asked if I could imagine working in a project with a (even slightly younger, I think) female in charge. I answered that competence matters, not gender. Am I atypical? I hope not.

    Among my very best friends today, I count my first fiancée (ca. 1962-67), my ex-wife (married 1970-1980), a woman to whom I recently intensely but in vain tried to sell the idea that marrying me would be mutually beneficial, and a much younger former university fellow student. Additionally, today, I had a 30 minutes amicable phone call from my latest (last?) fiancée. In all those cases, it's entirely and completely friendship only by now, to the degree than Plato in comparison would have been embarrassed by his lust. Also, I regard my three nieces (and their mothers, no surprise I hope) as near and dear friends.

    I have male friends as well, but they (one case excepted) are not quite as dear to me as the female set mentioned. Among the men, however, is the current partner of my ex-wife. We meet quite often and the three of us always have a good and interesting time together. I'm also looking forward to seeing two more recently acquired partners of previous GF's.

    I think that one factor that makes those friendships possible and working is what I've learned from Asian religions. In alphabetical order, I have absorbed influences from Buddhism, Daoism and Sikhism. I hope I was a reasonably kind and acceptable person when younger, but didn't really reflect on if and how my Christian environment affected me or on questions of morality etc.
     
  7. Huck_Finn

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    what is a "friend"?

    or rather "who" is a friend?
     
  8. Saint Soldier

    Saint Soldier
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    Sat shri akal,:D
    Chanakya(the great philosopher of ancient India) stated that there is no friendship without hidden motives behind it there always is a motive for friendship and one cannot imagine a friendship without motive.
    i completely agree to what he said.
    friendship is commonly for support and friends are those who have good compatibility and understanding there is no friendship without these two.
    friendship of a man and a women is prone to be doubted on the context of sexual attraction/pleasures :( but yes a women is a good friend even without indulging these sexual feelings a women is a Friend as a mother as a sister:) but otherwise it is next to impossible and if such relations are included wife is another good friend.

    ~~sainty~~
    ~~wald Guru Nanak~~
     
  9. shearwater

    shearwater
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    The English word for love often means lust, in common parlance, such as "make love." In the Greek rendering, there is agape, filia, and eros. Most of what American media regards as love is lust or eros. Filia is friendship and so long as a relationship is built on that, it is probably good and wholesome . . . gender to the contrary.
     
  10. KulwantK

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    Of course they can be friends! I have several male friends, whom I regard as brothers, sons, nephews, cousins, and uncles.
     

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