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Anger, the last time I felt it

Discussion in 'Blogs' started by Harry Haller, Oct 17, 2015.

  1. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    It has been some time now since I have been angry, I still get frustrated and sometimes impatient, but I cannot say I have felt anger for some time,

    1994 would be the last time I think I felt anger, march 16th. Business was not so good, I was in property.., my relationship was also not so good, my then girlfriend was an american still in the USA. But even though we were engaged, I don't think we actually loved each other.

    That evening, something snapped inside me, I started drinking, and ended up quite angry by around 2am. Sitting in my office, at my house, I suddenly felt the urge to break something, I picked up the phone, decided it wasn't big enough, and grabbed the TV. Weighing it in my hands, I decided that this to, was inadequate to express my anger, I walked around the house, trying to find the biggest thing to smash, and then the car caught my eye from the kitchen window, ahhhh the car, yes, now that was big enough. My dear Vauxhall Senator. When I was younger, my then mentor, who I had a massive falling out with, had gassed himself in a Senator, I found that hard, and when drunk, would sit and sob about it. But today, no sobbing, just anger.

    I opened the door to the cool seabreeze and walked to the car, hmmm its big, its certainly big, but still not big enough for the definitive harry statement. Turning round, I saw the house, ok, thats big, so, I staggered into the car, reversed it down my drive about 15 metres from my garage door, and then with a range of expletives floored the accelerator, I don't really remember what happened next, I think I passed out, woke up, and went off to bed.

    The next day, waking up, I had a bad feeling I had done something stupid the night before, padding downstairs, I noticed the shadow of a breakfast bar in the utility room, but I have no breakfast bar, protruding into the utility room was the bonnet of a Senator.

    I raced outside, the car had driven up the drive, through the garage doors, through the garage and was halfway between the garage and the inside of the utility room.

    Inspecting the car, which was a write off, (surveyors also condemned the house, which was presenting cracking all over the front), I noticed the right hand side was smashed in more than the rest, the car had hit 8 inches of solid concrete that had stopped it from a low ceiling smashing in the windscreen.

    It was around this time, I began to think that I could do anything and get away with it, that led me to a huge fall, from which I eventually learnt some grace and humility, but I never felt angry again after that
     
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