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Advice for making a change from Sikhism

Discussion in 'Sikh Youth' started by 4629, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. 4629

    4629
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    Hello everyone,

    I am Sikh student doing my masters here in USA. I am 23 years old and keep uncut beard, wear a turban and belong to a good family.

    However I would like to change that and would like to cut my hair - I have though a lot about it and it’s what I want to do.

    The issue that I am facing is I have come from India on student visa (F1) and all my photo ID’s have me wearing a turban in them (this includes my passport, visa, driver’s license etc)

    Hence, I would like to know if there is any way I can get this thing sorted out. Because if I do change my appearance, I would look different from the pictures in my photo ID’s.

    Regarding my parents, I respect them a lot and I do value their opinion – however, the motive of my post is to find options I have to make this transformation.

    I don’t know anyone who has done this before and I don’t know whom to ask regarding this issue, hence my reason for posting it online.
    It has been very uncomfortable for me to write this post and it may not sound appropriate.

    I hope my post is not taken in any offensive way. I seriously want to change and it’s what I want to do. I have nothing against it – it’s just something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and I don’t think I am being fair to myself by holding myself down.

    Please let me know your opinions and any possible options

    Sincerely,
     
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  3. Astroboy

    Astroboy Malaysia
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    ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
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  4. Archived_Member1

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    have you considered contacting the consulate, DMV, and other agencies that issued your documents and asking them?

    asking sikhs about how to handle the mundane issues surrounding cutting your kes is bound to cause people to get emotional.


    for what it's worth, i started wearing a turban about a year ago. my documents show me in a short hairstyle, no turban. no one has ever made a comment or caused any problem for me, even though i look much different now than i did in the photos. i suppose the reverse would also be true. :)
     
  5. Sikh80

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    May be it helps

    Dear friend,

    I am 84 riot victim. I have almost lost most of my close relatives. I have never thought of that you are thinking of. It is a transitory phase of life when you are young and are bothered about your physical appearance.
    But does it matter?
    In few years this youth will fade away.

    I am proud to be a sikh and would die that way.
    You should also feel that you are lucky being a sikh.

    Waheguru mehar kare.
     
  6. pk70

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    Dear Gursikh ji

    I ,on a visit to punjab, saw many young men lost their Sikh identity and I felt very sad to see that. You survived all avalanch of media that advocates the success with" be clean shaven and rise" fake slogan and terrible influence of Sants and Babas; now why to sacrifice that identity adored till now. I have been in U S A for almost 20 years, I havent faced any problem save for a few comments here and there. Read Gurbani, get strength, study as hard as you can and rise to your goal with AkaalPurkh's grace while in tuned to Satguru bachan. Nothing can stop you to become you want to be. Please dont do it.
    Wish you a successful life in U.S. May Wageguru be with you. Remember small Sahibzadas,you will keep you going. Guru guidance will elevate you, believe me.
     
  7. Huck_Finn

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    4629 ji

    legally you donot need to get another passport BUT to avoid complications you would HAVE to if you want to go ahead with your decision.

    you would have to apply to consulate in NY for a new passport, as your old passport would still be there with you- i donot think you need another trip to USCIS.

    but to bring upa sensitive isue is a bit of...ahem....on a sikh board. in times of internet access, you might like to visit various agency websites or even call them to know procedures.
     
  8. spnadmin

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    4629

    amarsanghera ji and jasleen ji make a good point. You are going to be lectured about your decision. It is a touchy subject.

    Go to the Office of International Students or whatever department at your university oversees the visas and federal laws for foreign students. Start there because they will steer you in the right direction, and they have to give accurate answers or will be in trouble with the Federal government. It will cut down on the wild goose chase you might have if you go to a government agency and just happen to encounter a clerk who doesn't really know what is what and gives wrong answers. Yes government officials don't always know what is what.

    And now my turn to lecture just a tiny bit -- I am reading a book -- East of Indus -- a biography by a Punjab man who grew up as a Jat farmer and became a research physicist in the US - fascinating. He relates that the decision to keep hair in the Punjab a half a century ago was even then a problem for young men. Who cut hair. Who trimmed beards. What the author tells from his own life is that many of these men when they got older went back to keeping hair and tying dastar. So don't think of yourself in a fixed way. Time will tell.
     
  9. amar7979

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    Since You've Already Made Up Your Mind (might Have Done It By Now) So There's No Point Of Telling You What Treasure You Are Going To Loose...
    i Wonder... What Will Be Your Identity Then?
    ...but Whenever You Realize Do Correct Your Mistake My Friend, Then All Spn Sangat Will Help You

    waheguru Tuhanu Samat Bakhshe !!
     
  10. Huck_Finn

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    <<i Wonder... What Will Be Your Identity Then?>>

    what is "it" now?

    why do we need identity?

    is it not ego?
     
  11. spnadmin

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    Our identity? Sat Naam....
    which takes time to find and understand in ourselves. A long journey into the interior.
     
  12. Archived_Member1

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    is following Guru sahib acting in ego? :hmm:

    not according to my limited understanding of sikhi... perhaps you can explain it better? do we ignore all of Guru sahib's teachings, assuming all of it is "ego"? or do we pick and choose which to follow? and how do we choose? by listening to you?
     
  13. Huck_Finn

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    <<is following Guru sahib acting in ego? :hmm:

    not according to my limited understanding of sikhi... perhaps you can explain it better? do we ignore all of Guru sahib's teachings, assuming all of it is "ego"? or do we pick and choose which to follow? and how do we choose? by listening to you?>>

    a valid question jasleen ji

    we are no one to pick and choose.

    Akal ordains and picks and chooses.

    the whole SGGS is replete with examples of that.

    remember i asked another question about human will in another thred.

    "human will" will always get subjugated by Akal's will.

    no where i am saying that we ignore Guruji's teachings.

    my point is that "identity" as discussed breeds one of the root vices - ego


    to me, my "identity" today is - nothing

    i am ignorant of it. So to me, it is Nothing.

    once i get the realization of self and Akal, i will get the "true identity"

    and to the point of my explaining.... i donot think i can, this has to come through realization.

    though i will keep asking questions :)
     
  14. spnadmin

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    Just a thought.

    "subjugation" may not be exactly the right word. I say this because Akaal has never seemed a stern character.

    More like lovingly realizing that one is in the end powerless and that God has taken care of everything.

    He is merciful to the week...ooops! to the weak.
     
  15. pk70

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    aad0002 ji

    amardeep ji is talking about physical identity. It has nothing to do with the SPIRITUAL aspect. Generally with beard and turban one is considered a Sikh, it could not be a fact at all. Point here was about a person who was like a Sikh for a long time and suddenly is taking U turn. Such comments are inevitable
     
  16. spnadmin

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    U turn. That is a funny way of putting it. You are making me laugh. Show me a thread without a U turn. Maybe there are a few. Anyway, Waheguru, Akaal, in all of His names, is Merciful.
     
  17. Huck_Finn

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    aadji

    :)

    my vocab is a bit poor and in the groggy monday morning thoughts all i could think of was my boss subjugating me :)

    ur right

    Akal ordains what is and what will be
     
  18. Huck_Finn

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    <<He is merciful to the week.>>

    week?

    why did he create monster mondays?:wink:
     
  19. spnadmin

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    Very good amarsangherea!!!! I will change it. If Monday's are monsters, yes, He Created It This Way.

    What a good way to start the week.

    Thank you!!!!
     
  20. Archived_Member1

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    ok, so correct me if i'm wrong... if we follow our own personal idea of "sikh identity", it's ego.

    but to keep the identity that Guru sahib has shown us, that would not be ego, right? at least it doesn't seem like Guru would ask us to act in ego...
     
  21. Huck_Finn

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    jasleen ji

    there is no point of debate of sikh or hindu or muslim identity

    the issue is with "identity"
     

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