I have a howling problem, I keep wanting to howl, until I finally give in and raising my nose to the wind, I run, and I howl. I howl until life around me degenerates into complete chaos, and then, at the absolute last minute, I wake up, and spend weeks, maybe months getting back onto an even keel, at which point I reward myself, and the cycle goes on, as it has for the last 30 years. What the howling is, is not important, suffice to say it is not in the least Gurmukh. Today, after 3 weeks, I have finally got back on top of things again, and I can hear it, my wife can hear it, I have just spoken to her on the phone, and the first words she said were 'I can hear it, in your voice, your leaving again', it was not said sadly, or to invoke guilt, more matter of factly, in the manner of someone who has accepted it long ago, So, onto the problem, I have a absolute belief that Creator is non interventionist, ie, Creator does not smile at you from above, just because you are not howling, nor does he wag his finger and grimace every time you howl, everything that happens has consequences from Creation, its all very matter of fact, cold and without flickering candles or moving music as per your average religious Indian film. Yet, as much as I will not allow myself to believe in 'luck', strange things keep happening, just when I need it most, someone comes in, pays cash, just when I have written off finding a part in my stash of stock, someone comes in and asks if I want to buy, yes that very part, and even then at some ridiculous price, or sometimes for nothing, 'just have it, I just wanted to have a clear out', this does not happen during the howling, during the howling everything is a struggle, everything is hard work. I put the phone down from my wife, and decided, in the same way that when you train, you get to a point where your conversion from fat to muscle is at its highest, this point, right here, now, this moment, instead of sinking back to the bottom, I could push even harder, not to get myself out of the mire, but to make a better life, to hope for something better than just to survive, to actually live, and keep pushing, maybe even buy a Land Rover that does not constantly break down, the thought had never occured to me, maybe buy a 10 year old one, not a 20 year old one, have enough in the bank so that if one of the dogs has a problem, not to run around like a headless chicken, or, shock horror, get pet insurance. I decided to go through a big pile of dead laptops, all very nice ones, but dead nonetheless, the first one, a very nice HP, that has never booted, even though I have tried everything, plugged it in, and it boots, straight away, of course there is a rational explanation, capacitors hold charge sometimes, and a good rest can discharge them all, which resets the motherboard, (in fact if you want a tip, a dead laptop can come alive if you take the battery out, and press the on switch for 20 seconds and then try again). Is luck relative? does it actually exist? Are we blessed when we do the right thing? how does this relate to the starving in Africa, the raped in Syria, are you blessed from being in consonance? Personally I think this is a very very dangerous path to go down, but I would most interested to hear the point of view of the rest of you, my friends, thanks. I intend to push on, there will be no howling yet.