Human psyche perceives controlling five vices viz. ahamkaar, kaam, krodh, moh and maya, as being perhaps the five most difficult things to do, during our short stay on this planet. But the solution to controlling these vices, lies within ourselves only. Self-discipline comes from self-realization, Self-realization comes from Self-introspection, Self-introspection comes with Patience, and Patience comes from practice. And when we say that we are fighting these vices then this means we are already aware of these problems which are hampering our spritual and are on our way.

But, then this should not be just for mere saying or for impressing upon others. Actually, the fact of the matter is that as soon as we are confronted with a critical situation, we simply forget to practice patience with ourselves and are conveniently overtaken by any of the above mentioned vices, eg. as soon as somebody offends us, our 'ego' comes forward and we, conveniently, forget about practicing patience.

Have we ever analyzed for how much period do we actually remember an incidence that gave us the feeling of hurt or insult, no matter how huge may have been the magnitude of a dispute? I would say... not more than 2-3 days at the most. And after that whatever we recollect from that argument, is just a hazy picture of what had actually happened. But the hurt/insult, of whatever derogatory s/he said to us, always remain embedded in our mind. Obviously, the same applies to the other person as well. And those derogatory remarks play games in our minds for a lifetime in some cases. We hardly remember the cause for which we had argued and tend to remember only the hurt/insult thus caused, and hurt or insult is caused by our false 'ego' or 'ahamkaar' only. And this is the reason we are unhappy for most of our lives. We always say how dare s/he had passed these remarks on me? (we can’t even recollect the remarks...). But, we do not realise that whatever s/he uttered was restricted her/his level of thinking/intellect... We feel this hurt/insult only because we take, whatever is said to us, by our heart & mind and that is where all the problems arise...

And what if we do not take the insult at all, s/he can do nothing about it. Patience is a rare state of mind, where we are neither too much happy on the happening of a favorable event nor too much depressed on the happening of an unfavourable event... the state of mind in which we are constantly in 'Anand'. But this state of mind needs practicing restrain/patience with ourselves... "Very difficult ! Very difficult !!" Some would simply argue... But: Is it really that difficult ? Have we ever tried for it ? I am afraid, No! Never Ever !!

So, one derogatory remark from s/he induces another derogatory remark from us and so this vicious circle continues to a point where there would be no looking back. And in 100% of the cases, we earn nothing from our false-ego based arguments but rather might loose, the blessings of our elders or a true friend for a lifetime.

And by dragging his/her thinking (derogatory words) in our mind again and again, we are not only corrupting our minds but also not allowing good thoughts to come to mind... But now if we could just practice patience and just listen to what the other person has to say and not simply blast him/her out of his/her 'ego'. We would solve a lot of problems. We need to practice patience with our minds... So, whenever we feel bothered with such feelings of hurt/insult, just go to quieter places and try to empty our mind from such thoughts by giving our mind a feed of positive thoughts or even think about the positive sides of that individual who had hurt/insulted us at first place. And maybe we would reconcile with him/her. But, again this comes from practicing patience.

Now, when ever there is a situation when we feel that one of the five vikaars are overtaking our thinking... Just take a cool breath and hold back ourselves... we will certainly cool down... You would say that the other person would brag/boost that he has proven his point... just because we have stopped responding to the negative arguments but we should remember that nobody has ever won in an argument and his bragging would just be his 'false-ego' only. Let him/her feel happy! We can’t be right each time and the other person can't be wrong each time. So, if we can gain something from others, we should feel grateful to him/her.

We can give Patience... atleast a try. Patience definitely breeds Spiritualism. Patience breeds peace of mind (Anand...) Come on give it a try...

Chardi Kala

Patience is the Most Misunderstood Word ........

This Word makes Some Procastinators ........

This Word Makes Some Self Disciplined .........

This Word Makes Some Pessimist ........

This Word Makes Some Laggards ............

This Word Makes Some Lethargic .........

Patience is the gestation Period between the Stimulus and Response or Sowing the Seeds to the Reaping the Results Or Between the Action and The Reaction ....

First post in thread by Neutral Singh

Have we ever analyzed for how much period do we actually remember an incidence that gave us the feeling of hurt or insult, no matter how huge may have been the magnitude of a dispute? I would say... not more than 2-3 days at the most. And after that whatever we recollect from that argument, is just a hazy picture of what had actually happened. But the hurt/insult, of whatever derogatory s/he said to us, always remain embedded in our mind. Obviously, the same applies to the other person as well. And those derogatory remarks play games in our minds for a lifetime in some cases. We hardly remember the cause for which we had argued and tend to remember only the hurt/insult thus caused, and hurt or insult is caused by our false 'ego' or 'ahamkaar' only. And this is the reason we are unhappy for most of our lives. We always say how dare s/he had passed these remarks on me? (we can’t even recollect the remarks...). But, we do not realise that whatever s/he uttered was restricted her/his level of thinking/intellect... We feel this hurt/insult only because we take, whatever is said to us, by our heart & mind and that is where all the problems arise...

I find this statement so profound that it goes beyond an understanding of patience. It in my opinion speaks to the human condition --- the way of all flesh -- in a very serious way. The same negativity described here between two individuals having a argument or holding a grudge is at work when cultures, tribes, religions, nations carry feelings of injury and harm collectively over centuries. The original injury happens and time passes, maybe in some cases centuries. The original story is no longer understood in crisp detail, but the injury is vividly remembered. Sometimes the original story is so deeply embedded in historical memory that it becomes part of legend, folklore or even mythology. Feelings of hurt transform into feelings of hatred. The loss of hope and the cost in human life, destruction of societies and cultures, and more is enormous. Then come from this border disputes, pograms, cultural cleansings, blood wars, vendettas, armed hostilities, crusades, and history tells the tale.

Glad that someone bumped this thread -- maybe we need to reflect more on these issues.

__________________
ਮਨ ਕਰਹਲਾ ਗੁਰ ਗੋਵਿੰਦੁ ਸਮਾਲਿ ॥ man karehalaa gur govindh samaal O camel-like mind, dwell upon the Guru and the Lord of the Universe.