Considering Cutting My Hair?

Luckysingh · #**100** (**permalink**) 16-May-2012, 09:01 AM

Parma ji,
I appreciate what you are saying and understand exactly where you are coming from.
Other members don't seem to quite understand your point and situation. I can understand in a sense why they can't catch your point.

I think living in the UK has a major role to play for different consequences and encounters. I'm not saying the problems don't occur elsewhere, but the british attitudes and upbringing is british.
Being here in Canada now, I'm still glad and proud of my british upbringing and I'm always glad to class myself as british or anglo-indian.

But, only people our age can understand what it was like back then. Late 70's and early 80's were tough for all punjabis back then. It is much different now, as you know.
In infant and junior(which goes to age 11, for the non UK's that won't undertsand the terms) I was the only coloured face among all white faces.
You can imagine what it was like, some of the kids parents had never ever encountered someone that was brown skinned until they saw me(the one at school).
When I got to High school (after 12yrs age), there were 3 coloured indians in the whole 500 kids, and one of us had a top-knot.
That is exactly what it was called, even by the teachers. There were many other names that would be the butt of all jokes for white people for the one friend among us three, such as-

'bobble head'
'snow ball' - would be much joked about when snowing.
'cue ball' when snooker championships were on.
'other head'
'planet'
'marshmellow'........
..........The list was endless for the young sikh lad that was among us three.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/38179-considering-cutting-my-hair.html
Your post reminded me of him and all the troubles the poor kid went through.
He had us 2 friends that were punjabis, but we were still outnumbered as kids to defend for him.
I can imagine how difficult it was for you, as our friend used to walk away crying sometimes when the goray's would tease. But like you, he used to try and defend his gift such that if anyone moved it he would try to attack the opponent.
Like you, he was taught the same thing at home and punjabi school.

I now realise, that this story was going on in hundreds and thousands of school playgrounds in all the inner cities in UK back in the 80's.

When I tell the youth of today what it was like back then in UK, they find it real difficult to swallow. Here in Vancouver, they would have a real shock if you told them your story, like wise in many places in today's times and awareness.

This is a different matter in a sense in terms of advising and helping OpenmindedSinghji he has his family as an issue and not his school or college fellows.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179
But, it should give him some insight of some of the problems faced by millions of young sikhs across the globe at different ages.

Lucky Singh

Ambarsaria · #**101** (**permalink**) 16-May-2012, 09:52 AM

Great dialog and some jousting but couple of things come to mind,

Let us not expect from others but expect from selves
Let us not teach other Sikhs, teach ourselves
- For me Sikhi is a continuous spectrum from the minmal to complete and everything in between
- As long as we don't judge others to be less than others all is good. Love for all Sikhs is needed no matter how impure or imperfect these are. There may still be a wavering or light fluttering inside that could rekindle and shine ever so bright in the future
I am guilty of the following one but I think it stands
- Let us not judge others but judge ourselves

Sikhism gives us the gift to be at peace in every way and at all stages of our living if we look close enough. There are obvious imbalances as we are at times mature inside and immature in appearance and vice-versa.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

Sat Sri Akal. peacesign kaurhug

harry haller · #**102** (**permalink**) 16-May-2012, 14:02 PM

Luckyji,

Ironically I had the best time of my life when I lived in the north, I also was the only brown face in school, and I was treated with much love and respect, (age 10), in fact, I loved going to school. No, my problems started when we moved to the midlands, and then I was bullied by many kids the same colour as me, some, the same religion as me, although I have to say that it never occurred to me that the reason was my hair, I just assumed I was 'different', even more ironically, when we lived in India for a couple of years, yes you guessed it, I was bullied there too, on account of being an 'angrez', so I was pretty much bullied everywhere apart from a predominantly white school.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

I think it is tempting to put bullying down to hair/turban, when sometimes it runs much much deeper than that. Firstly, people are bullied for many many reasons, all to do with being a bit different, and secondly, I think it teaches you an important lesson, you stop running after the herd, you become your own person, you validate yourself, and it teaches you stand up for yourself

Ambarsaria · #**103** (**permalink**) 16-May-2012, 20:12 PM

Sometimes bullying is a state of mind and very hard to look past specially when one is young. We react to how others look at, say things and react to us.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

For the UK gang the above picture from the late 1960s I believe. Areas my father lived in was Shepherd's Bush/Hammersmith in London near old Sinclair Road Gurdwara. My father in the longer thicker white beard.

In bullying we have to rise above the self conscious and just be. It happens that such lack of self consciousness and self focus would also cause others to react accordingly most of the time. Of course there will still be some barking dogs and you do what is best for such and it is "IGNORE THEM". Whole purpose of a barking dog is to attract attention and if you don't give it, they shut up and become quite pitiful.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

Sat Sri Akal.

Kamala · #**104** (**permalink**) 17-May-2012, 06:02 AM

So are you going to cut it or not? If you do cut it, I don't know why you would even bother asking on a religious site because since you obviously aren't religious these opinions will not really do anything for you.

TigerStyleZ · #**105** (**permalink**) 17-May-2012, 08:08 AM

Ok , I have read all posts - about bullying now. And due to my aspect, all Sikhs with Kesh had the same journey , the difference between the journey is just, that we all didn´t chose the same way to handle/treat this "bullying/problem". But all in all the Stories are all the same but we all ended up different , some cut their hairs some don´t.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

The sad thing is with my 17 years I went trough all things you mentioned here... IT jus

Where is my post ? I wrote long post! -.-Why it wasn´t saved .....!!

Luckysingh · #**106** (**permalink**) 17-May-2012, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kamala

So are you going to cut it or not? If you do cut it, I don't know why you would even bother asking on a religious site because since you obviously aren't religious these opinions will not really do anything for you.

I don't think that we should question each others religious scale or holding or even be judging. The opinions on here are not answers and they were never intended to be.
The opinions help the person to think much more about their actions and the impact.
This may be a religious site, but the people on here are normal human beings that can help and advise in plenty of other aspects of life as well.te
Were not just programmed to cite the rehat or Guru's words for every question.

Parma · #**107** (**permalink**) 17-May-2012, 13:47 PM

Maybe one day we can help each other to eradicate this bullying or help influence others to stop it. Is their anything or something we can do collectively to help the younger generations. We may think things are not as bad now but trust me they are. You still have young generations, cultures and other aspects of societies that will cause these frictions. I guess the true result would be to stop bullying completely regardless of cultural backgrounds barriers and people. We are all apart of the Human race. This for me is were the case of the Sikh comes in as we are all Sikh, some maybe Keshdari, Sehajdari, Amritdhari, Nirankari end in end we are all Sikh. Which is the case I have been putting forward. Who knows it is a dream. If people would accept each other instead of trying to change one another just change yourself for the change you want to see in the world is all I can suggest. If you want to see more Singh's become one, if you want more understanding in people in the world become an understanding person. Be what god intends you to be not what the world wants you to be, so long as you are not harming anyone else or hurting anyone else (that includes yourself). Only you can define you. That is true liberation and true peace.peacesign

Kanwaljit Singh · #**108** (**permalink**) 17-May-2012, 20:05 PM

I think Sikhtoons came up with a series of cartoon storybook a child could share with his classmates! Basically to introduce them to Sikhi! I have no idea how effective that was!