Considering Cutting My Hair?

findingmyway · #82 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parma

When I was a child I had a top-not as they call it in the UK. I was told that without the hair I was not a sikh and that it was a gift from god and that it should never be cut I was sent to indian school to brush up on my punjabi and learn about our culture, I heard the most glorious stories about how sikhs had died defending the dastaar I became myself quiet bold in my defence of the dastaar thinking this is something that god gave me. Me being quiet young I did not have the knowledge of life but only the knowledge that was taught to me by these institutions i.e; the indian school club, the gurdwara and home. They gave me a thinking or a sense that a man should rather die then let the dignity of the dastaar be humiliated. I had a lot of stick as a child off some other young sikhs and from other children from other cultural backgrounds aswell regarding my appearance with my top-not, to me it was a gift from god so I accepted it. Then came a time I had a dispute with another child at school, as young kids do. This dispute ended up in a fight between the two of us this other child was from a different cultural background as the fight ensued the child knocked it causing me even further anger, but it was still in tact after the fight and mainly because my mother had tied it well. As I grew up my thinking in this point became quiet extreme as I was begining to realies what the concept of god was, and so this "gift" from god became more of a priority to me. With these thoughts in my mind I had a thought, that had another fight ever happened as they do when your young and they did when I went to high school I would now have been in jail for maybe mass murder or maybe dead myself for defending it, which would have been complete and utter madness and would not have looked very good for sikhism as that would have been reported across the media aswell because I was so against anyone touching the top-not or causing any humiliation to it as it was taught to me as a "gift" from god. I realised what the concept of "god" was but this gift made no sense. In hindsight, luckily for me before I went to high school my mother became ill and as I was young I was unable to look after the hair the result being my family and me deciding to have it cut. God's gift is human life, not hair on its own. Growing up now I understand what the metaphor of the dastaar is and that it is not to be taken so literally, it is about oneself. Any persons life is worth more than hair, regardless of what any extremist religious fanatic tells you. God preserved the Guru Granth Sahib to preserve human life not just hair. The opposite of what would have happened due to wrong understanding and it is what is being preached within our communities, we have been lucky that cases of the above have not happened on scale before as some young men lack the determination to follow a belief and just follow for the sake of keeping others happy. If we had born into our communities more children with more determination to uphold their beliefs the outcomes could have been quite catastrophic. Lucky most sikhs in the west are relaxed in their views now. From some chap knocking my top-not off I was willing to knock out the life of some poor chap, maybe not so much of a poor chap, maybe that guy did deserve a knocking but not so much to an extent to knock the life out the chap. Everything has its balance.
peacesign

Parma ji,
Don't blame the top knot for your actions. Had you chosen to deal with the situation in a different way, e.g. promoting education and understanding rather than violence, the outcome would have been different. Had you made the effort to understand Sikh philosophy rather than using blind faith and mindless violence, you would not have gone to jail. Don't blame the top kot for your individual response-that is down to your personality alone. Here's an example of another approach:

http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/inspir...imination.html

Parma · #83 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by findingmyway

Parma ji,
Don't blame the top knot for your actions. Had you chosen to deal with the situation in a different way, e.g. promoting education and understanding rather than violence, the outcome would have been different. Had you made the effort to understand Sikh philosophy rather than using blind faith and mindless violence, you would not have gone to jail. Don't blame the top kot for your individual response-that is down to your personality alone. Here's an example of another approach:

http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/inspir...imination.html

That is rich, how is 8 or 9 yr old going to promote education and understanding on it, when a community can not achieve that I would only have gone by what was being taught to me, if a gurdwara cant teach better understanding on it indian culture classes cant promote better understanding on it elder members of society cant promote better understanding on it, what chance has a child. Read it fully my friend the interpretation of it took a whole community to produce an understanding on it. How do you mean do not blame the top not on my response? The faith is taught that the hair is not to be humiliated and if all other resources have failed then the kirpan is the resort. You must live in a guilded box I grew up on the hard streets of inner cities your response would be different as in you would have experienced a different journey to me and your dastaar.

p.s. I did not go to jail. If you are going to respond to me please be kind enough to read what I wrote properly!!

I will look at your other point you have pasted but we all know how the truth is. You can not hide from the truth

Kanwaljit Singh · #84 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 07:51 AM

Parma ji agreed that community might not give you the right reasons. It still doesn't mean that you discard Guru's gifts. When others cannot answer properly, you find your own answers. You talk to Guru. And they told you that top knot should not be humiliated. In the end the questions is what you do when you are humiliated. I have thought what will happen if someone tries to cut my hair. What will I do to the person? Will my life be worth living after that? These are complex questions. And they are thrown to us as people become more 'inhuman' with time. Doesn't mean that I will be a better person if my Kesh are gone, it is not a point of conflict, but something I earned on my spiritual quest!

Parma · #85 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanwaljit Singh

Parma ji agreed that community might not give you the right reasons. It still doesn't mean that you discard Guru's gifts. When others cannot answer properly, you find your own answers. You talk to Guru. And they told you that top knot should not be humiliated. In the end the questions is what you do when you are humiliated. I have thought what will happen if someone tries to cut my hair. What will I do to the person? Will my life be worth living after that? These are complex questions. And they are thrown to us as people become more 'inhuman' with time. Doesn't mean that I will be a better person if my Kesh are gone, it is not a point of conflict, but something I earned on my spiritual quest!

Kanwaljit Singh ji, sir I respect you deeply but I have to keep stressing please read my post that I wrote above properly! Before you reply! The reason I have given for me deciding to cut my hair was not because of what society had taught me. The descision to cut my hair came from a choice of personal circumstances maybe it is not justifiable to you under those circumstances but for me and my family it was. My mother being ill and me being not prepared enough beforehand led to my decision to cut it. It was out of respect of not being able to keep it properly that bought my decision to cut it. The justification between god and me, to me and god is justified. I am not seeking your approval. I am not saying you will be a better person if you cut your kesh. I am giving my side of the story a different perspective on it. Which we should think about. Funny enough I thought I would recieve love on here for this story instead of an attacking mode. As this sikh tried to keep his top-not, the decision was not because I was afraid to confront society it was personal circumstances that would not permit it. You could say their are alot of young children that tie and keep their top-not in tip top condition. My situation was I was not pre-prepared for that and when something bad happened in my family their was no background support for it. For me and my family it was a means that justified the ends. Whether you feel my actions are justified is of no importance to me it, you are not god, my decision led from my understanding which comes from my relationship with god and me. Mutt vich ratten jahavan mangeh, jeh ik gur ki sikh suni, gur ik thev bugia sub ka jio ka ik he, dahtha someh viser nah jaho

harry haller · #86 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 16:34 PM

We all make our own decisions in life, I admire your honesty Parmaji.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/38179-considering-cutting-my-hair.html

I have always felt that the growth of Kesh is not an issue, those that value it cannot explain why they value it, and that I feel is the point for all us mona types to aspire to reach, when you delight in letting it grow, and you know in your heart why it is so important, you will be unable to justify it through any logical or known reason, you just know....

If one has doubts, or finds it hard, I really cannot see the point in labouring, this is no way to be in consonance.

If Openmindedji was 10 years older, this would be a moot thread, but this has nothing really to do with Openmindedji, and everything to do with the effect on his family.

Parma · #87 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 17:39 PM

I write what I write as I do not want sikhism to fall under a hate campaign from other communities in the future. If sikhs follow such a hard line view which is preached and truthfully you can not deny it. It will have consequences and in the end it will lead to the downfall of knowledge and all that will remain is a turban and a man no sikh, no learning no studying no developing. The dastaar should be a metaphor, as I think it was intended to be. To create a fearless warrior type of mindset. You touch a hair on my head and that is it you will get it son; that is the analogy on it, it is not literal teaching and should be tought so. I learned through my life I hope others learn before Sikhi is lost. Thanks for your time

Mai Harinder Kaur · #88 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 17:39 PM

Perhaps a look at what we are talking about will help. Perhaps not.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

My son had hair like this and was willing to die rather than cut them.

harry haller · #89 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 18:06 PM

Maiji

Your son was one in a million, and the product of wise and strong parentage.

Not all of us possess the upbringing, wisdom and understanding he had, he was very fortunate to achieve that in such a short life.

I can understand what Parmaji is trying to put across, but it really is not as simple as someone shoving your turban off, that happened to me quite frequently at school, and the more animated I became, the more it happened, such frivolous actions should be met with humour and patience, unfortunately the forced cutting of hair is not just an enforced haircut, it is more about forced conversion, and/or renouncing ones present beliefs, renouncing the Guru, and that is where it is right to defend oneself using all means at hand.Not in the manner of a drunken elephant, but in the manner of a calm spiritual Sikh, without anger, without hate but to stand your ground and show your oppressor that you will not be beaten, you will not be broken, you stand a Sikh, you die a Sikh rather than submit to force. This is an entirely different subject to playground jinks.

TigerStyleZ · #90 (**permalink**) 15-May-2012, 23:33 PM

The main problem we need to talk about is. Why the hell people are so obssessed of cutting hair? Why they are influenced that much? What makes you cut your hair? What are the TRUE reasons? Will you get a better human or you just want to hide in a sheep crowd?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179
I am still not getting this point ...? Please explain me . My little brain don´t understands? You keep hair on all your body - but you cut it in on your mukh? (face/head) ? I am getting mad - searching for this answer ... Is it the everyday fight? The mentally struggling or what??Why I dont understand it ? Why??????
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38179

This is not directed to you OPENMINDEDSingh this is directed to all who cut their hair.