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What should i tell her to do?

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-May-2005, 07:39 AM
truthseeker's Avatar truthseeker truthseeker is offline
 
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What should i tell her to do?

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

i have a very close friend how is thinking of taking amrit( before i go on i just wann say that i think that its amazing that she is thinking of amrit)My only concern is that she is goin into everything soo quickly and im afraid that she might " take the plunge" without being 100% ready for Guru ji. One day she would be talking to me about getting her hair cut and styled or w.e and then the next day shw would be like... wanna take amrit.And she just recently started getting more serious about it but im stilln ot sure that she is ready and ive already talked to another friend of ours who has also been talkin to her and he too said the same thing. And like now she wants to start wearing her Kakaars and she from what she has told me she does her paat, but she still talks about getting her hair done and all that kind of stuff, so in a way i really dont think should would be ready to take the final step. So my question is... what should i tell her, cuz she always asks me How she can get closer to Guru ji and stuff like that but i myslef dont even kno??
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/3357-what-should-i-tell-her-do.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 05-May-2005, 12:59 PM
S|kH's Avatar S|kH S|kH is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Let her take it.

I had a friend or two, who told me not to, and so I'm still not amritdhari.

Well, life went on, and I still regret my decision, but will take it...and
I'm not so-close friends with those people anymore.

I had another friend that was in the same boat as yours, she was always saying she wants to take amrit, and then she would talk of cutting her hair...well, she didnt take it because of friends/parents or other reasons...and now shes so far from being Sikh I cant even explain it. I lost touch with her, not because of that, but other reasons.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357

Those are just my personal experiences and of course every situation is different.

But, I am convinced the Panj Pyare just went up and did it, so to speak.
Could they know what to expect? I don't think anyone did. I bet half the people that were in attendance were worried about their farms back home, or their children running around, and weren't paying attention to guruji's wishes. A few individuals were debating it, and just stepped up and did it.

If you don't feel right in her taking it, don't tell her she should, but yet don't tell her she shouldnt. Let her make her own decision, just don't try to tell her that she should wait.
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Old 05-May-2005, 19:13 PM
vijaydeep Singh's Avatar vijaydeep Singh vijaydeep Singh is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Gurfateh

Let her decide herself.



If she wuould been blessed by Akal then she will not do unsikh thing.

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357


If Akal does not find her fit then she may leave the true and ultimate faith of Akal.
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 05-May-2005, 19:52 PM
UnstoppableSingh's Avatar UnstoppableSingh UnstoppableSingh is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Vijaydeep Ji,

Its a little more complicated then that. Though that is what our final vichars should be (leaving everything up to Hukam) at this time in a persons life (Truthseeker is 15 so i'm guessing her friend is as well)

TruthSeeker

First off i would just simply sit with your friend and let of my personal events and thoughts that occurred before and after taking amrit. Give the person the view of changes and personal self-sacrifice that is required.

Secondly, we never go 100% ready for amrit. We are but students that will make mistakes. But are goal should be to "give our heads" for Guru Ji. This is the explaination my dad gave to me while i was really young about Amrit.

"Think of taking Amrit as your finally exam for acceptance into a place of higher learning (ie University). Just as in life you prepare for your classes and exams do the same with Sikhi. So that one day (in his opinion not when your 60 and close to your death bed) you can take the one giant step of advancement and go to the University of Sikhism. And don't be discourage if you do mistakes in University everyone does. The only good thing is you have an ever loving Guru to forgive and give guidance."
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357

Lastly, show your friend the life of a Amritdhari Sikh by calling her over for your evening paat and simran. Bring her to your house and sit and read bani try to understand something together...... if the friend sees this and accepts it then fully encourage the friend to take the next step. If the friend doesn't well at least you know you did everything in your powers to help.
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Old 05-May-2005, 20:31 PM
truthseeker's Avatar truthseeker truthseeker is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

Dear unstoppalbe singh..

Every weekend abunch of us kids get together on saturday night and have a sangat at either of our houses. We sit and do paath, kirtan just as if we were at gurdwara, so it is not that she has never done this before. From what she has told me she does hir nitnem as much possilbe and usualy kirtan sohila before goin to bed. My worry is that she isnt spiritually ready, i guess. I mean no one knows her better than herself and some days she will call me up on the phone and just talk about how much she wants to do this, but there are those times when she makes comments like " im thinking of getting my hair cut" that worry me. I mean if she cant make those sacrifices then how can she be ready?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357
Another thing, she wanted to start wearing all her kakaars but she still eats meat on occassion and still removes her hair and soo forth... so would that be wrong if i told her that she should do it???

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!
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Old 05-May-2005, 21:55 PM
Arvind's Avatar Arvind Arvind is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Dear Truthseeker ji,

IMHO, let us not judge whether another another person is ready or not. When anyone asks, it is our duty to explain the road ahead without using words like tough, difficult etc. Let them decide, if they are willing to travel or not. Do play a catalyzing role in the event for her necessary preparation though.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357

Warm Regards, Arvind.
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Old 06-May-2005, 00:13 AM
CaramelChocolate's Avatar CaramelChocolate CaramelChocolate is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

My suggestion: Live as an amritdhari for a few years without actually taking amrit, and then if she gets used to living life that then tell her to take the plunge, but if she doesn't feel the lifestyle she can go back without any regrets.
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Old 06-May-2005, 03:39 AM
Arvind's Avatar Arvind Arvind is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaramelChocolate
My suggestion: Live as an amritdhari for a few years without actually taking amrit, and then if she gets used to living life that then tell her to take the plunge, but if she doesn't feel the lifestyle she can go back without any regrets.
I like this as well.. kind of rehearsal first. A self imposed test on self
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Old 06-May-2005, 05:03 AM
UnstoppableSingh's Avatar UnstoppableSingh UnstoppableSingh is offline
 
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Re: What should i tell her to do?

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TruthSeeker ji,

First off let me just say i'm not getting into the meat issue. I have no opinion... if a person eats it or not makes no difference to me.

Now back to the issue..... I'm guessing your friend probably is a person that likes to be "In-Fashion" type so there outward appearance is of great importance to them. What you got to do is show Sikhism view on the body.... i know a few shabads (Eh Maan Sundara or Mera Gur kai Lion" but i'll have to get the exact location of them later. Guru Ji went is extensive details explaining to us of how we should dress are outward appearance. Especially in Eh Maan Sundara where Guru Ji uses the example of a Women preparing herself (putting make-up and what not) for her Husband. Guru Ji uses that example and tells our souls (the Women) how she should prepare herself following Gurmat for her Husband (Akal Purkh).
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=3357

Also i would recommend you try a deep-personal defination of the Kakaars don't give her the normal book version most of the older generation gives. Give her reason why but from a personal view.
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