No problem Dawnnymph, any time you need some more advise, we're here for you

A Sikh cant "go out" with anyone FULL STOP.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!!

Good point Singhstah veerji,

we ask sikhs are NOT to have any relationoships before marriage.

Singhstah, truthseeker,

Read my post, and please provide facts as to why we can not "date".

You need a basis for your logic.

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The prayer I leave
Rippin' in the atmosphere
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I agree with S|kh jee. I don't think there is a particular bar from dating, nor is there a rule that says Sikhs must date. In our Guru's infinite wisdom, they were silent on this very personal issue (as far as I know).

I have nothing against arranged marriages. But not every situation is textbook...especially once the people grow past the traditional "marriageable" age, and may have already lived an adult life that involves children and other matters that make marriage a very delicate issue.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!

Very true... its have changed alot and i kno that i personally would have to kno the guy very well before i was to marry him. so in that case eveen id my parents were to pick him out for my or w.e i woud still have to "Date" him in a sense just to get to kno who he is stuff like that.
Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!

actually this is slightly incorrect.

Any relationship base on Kaam is taboo for a Sikh. A relationship based on love is not taboo.

A relationship that actually helps you to control the 5 thieves cannot be taboo.

Interestingly in Varan Bhai Gurdas he refererds to Heer Ranjha , Sassi Pannu etc, but ultimately the most highest form of love is for Waheguru:

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Randip Singh
Sikh History Website

"Let no man be proud because of his caste/race (Jaat).
For the man who has God in his heart, he alone is the true Brahmin.
O stupid fool, be not proud of your caste/race (Jaat), by this pride many sins arise.
Everyone says there are four castes/races (Jaat), but they are all created from the Lords seed (essence).
All men are moulded from the same clay, but the potter has fashioned it into vessels of numerous forms.
By joining the five elements, the form of the body is made, no one can say that the element is less in one and more in another" Pg 1128 SGGS

This seems to be a common leimotif in most religions. Yesterday i was watching a sitcom about a young Pakistani Muslim boy who lives with an American family. Well he ends up dating this Muslim girl sort of. BOth families meet each other at the girls house and talk. the Muslim boy spends a lot of time with the mother and father and barely anytime with the girl. The American mom of the immigrant sets up a date with the two to be alone by confusing the Muslim girls parents about the resteraunt they are suppose to meet at. At the resteraunt the Muslim girl kisses the Muslim boy on the cheeck and he tells her she cant do that unless they are married. the Muslim boy's american sister ends up seeing the Muslim girl in a resteraunt holding hands with an American boy. He confronts her about it and she tells him that she is Muslim but she is also a westerner and wants to date and that he should meet girls.
Recently, ive been talking to this Muslim girl I sent her three emails and havent heard anything back. In my last email I asked her out for lunch. I'm going to wait a week and see what she says. Although i havent been intimate with a female since summer of 2002, I still cant see why any physical expression of intimacy is immoral coming from a logical standpoint. I'm not totally out of the loop when i hear relligious people disdain dating. I have a younger sister and whenever i think of hear getting intimate with a male it makes me cringe especially when she started to have her boyfriend spend the night. However i learned to adapt. Now my sister lives with her boyfriend. I figured i cannot control her i can only love her even when she cusses at me and says she doesnt F^*&(^%ing like me.
Im moderate when it comes to sexuality. Im not a promiscuse rapist but at the same time I'm no prude. I think that the expression of physical intimacy should be related to the maturity and level of commitment in the relationship.

I would like to know where you learnt such a thing, where can I find this teaching in our Guru Granth Sahib?

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

ਸੂਹੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ॥
सूही महला ४ ॥
Sūhī mehlā 4.
Soohee, Fourth Mehl:

ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
हरि पहिलड़ी लाव परविरती करम द्रिड़ाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Har pahilaṛī lāv parvirṯī karam driṛ­ā­i­ā bal rām jī­o.
In the first round of the marriage ceremony, the Lord sets out His Instructions for performing the daily duties of married life.

ਬਾਣੀ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਵੇਦੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਪਾਪ ਤਜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
बाणी ब्रहमा वेदु धरमु द्रिड़हु पाप तजाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Baṇī barahmā vėḏ ḏẖaram ḏariṛĥu pāp ṯajā­i­ā bal rām jī­o.
Instead of the hymns of the Vedas to Brahma, embrace the righteous conduct of Dharma, and renounce sinful actions.

Source: Sri Granth: Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Above Gurbani verses are from Lavan (Anand Karaj).

"embrace the righteous conduct of Dharma, and renounce sinful actions"

means after marriage the couple must adapt the right conduct (Sikh Code of Conduct)
be commited to one another and not to commit adultery, keep control over kaam.
sinful actions also include any activity undertaken under influence of Kaam i.e masturbation, sex without marriage, flirting, dating etc

A Gursikh couple must understand and follow Guru Sahib jeeo's Hukum and renounce all the sinful actions which singles usually perform.

Hence it is must for a couple to get married and live in Grahst Jeevan and follow Dharma.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh