Classmates Make Fun of Me Being a Sikh?

Aman Singh · #1 (**permalink**) 02-Jan-2010, 21:39 PM

Classmates Make Fun of Me
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/28745-classmates-make-fun-of-being-sikh.html
(Quoting from an interesting debate going on at sikhnet)

Quote:

I am a amritdhari sikh of class 10th , I study in convent school and I am the only sikh in class.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=28745

All my classmates make fun of me , then don't call me by name and just call Gyani and crack dirty jokes on me.

I complained about it to my teachers, They warned them but still it was of no use, they did not stopped and doing it more.

I asked them to stop . Also fought with them 2-3 times but i can't fight every time.

Its not just the matter of school , in the play ground , tutions everywhere people laugh at me because i am a Sikh.

I talked with my parents and they said to ignore me and change my thinking attitude but its not that easy. I stopped going out and playing because i don't like when other laugh at me.

I want to be a sikh but I am not so brave that i can tolerate this all . I Go to gurdwara daily and do ardaas in front of guru granth saheb ji to save me from this but it was of no use.

these things hurt me a lot and I can't do anything except crying inside a room.

Please tell me what should i do?

"Un-quote"

This is a very important topic facing every Sikh youth of today... would be interesting to hear your personal experiences on this topic.

Gurafteh!

Aman Singh · #2 (**permalink**) 02-Jan-2010, 22:01 PM

I am also quoting some very good replies from this debate as the educative value of this discussion is or pivotal importance.

Comment # 1

Quote:

by HSJagdev on Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:42 pm
i am born and live in the UK. When I was at school in 10th class (30 years ago now), I also had people making fun of me. However, it was not the english children it was my fellow Indians making fun of me. As I was the only boy in my class with my top knot on my head.

However, these experiences made me stonger and more determined to lead by example. I did not fight them. Yes I also was left on my own alot, but I started leaning my nitnem, and started doing simran and mool mantar in my breaks.

After about two years the same people started respecting me and ever since then where ever I went, people gave me respect. I Think this is the power of naam.

Do not expect thing s to happen imediatley. Remember when you do simran, maharaj is always with you and that gives you the best feeling ever.

They want you to break and cut your heair, so that they can laugh at you and your faith so do not let them win.

Don't forget that you are Guru Ji's sikh and do not forget that the chotai sahibzadhe gave their life but did not give in to anyone.

Maharaj will bless you so keep the faith.

Comment # 2

Quote:

by Kuldip S. Virdi on Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:21 pm
Sikhs kids not wearing their Sikhi saroop seems to be a fashion statement more in Punjab. They feel that that they are cool by cutting thier hair and probably feel threatened by the sikhs who choose to retain their Sikhi saroop. Mr. Kamlajeet Singh has already given you a good advice. if you find your present school is not very conducive you should consider to relocate yourself to one with more sikh kids with sikhi saroop but the right choice will be to overcome your personal shortcomings ,if any and make yourself strong and be respected because of your virtues.

In 1972-1973, I was the only turban wearing sikh in Stanford University in California but was not intimadated by some strange stares and few polite queries about the beard and turban. I would rather use it as an opportunity to tell more people about sikhi and sikhi saroop to those who bother to know.

A few well meaning and good freinds are a lot better then a hordes of them who want to just use you as butt of their jokes and snide remarks and you can win them by being useful and helpful to them.

Bullies should not be tolerated and if required you should report them to school authorities and if its is not working do not refrain from reporting them even to police.

Comment # 3

Quote:

by drdln on Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:35 am
It's easy to talk but hard to walk the talk. In other words it's easy to give advice but hard to practice that advice. Only you feel what you're going through, Gagandeep. There is no miracle solution in any of the advices, IMHO. You're brave enough to put on the discussion board. Who know how many kids are suffering silently. Few year back, I recall, one youngster even committed suicide in Vancouver, Canada under similar circumstances.

Most of the members suggested doing nitnem, and I agree with them. It does put mind at ease. But do we have to look certain way to do nitnem! Are there any gurbani verses that say anything about appearance? What I am trying to suggest is that you didn't seem ready for khande-de-pahul. The first step is to practice gurbani and then take initiation, IMHO.

Those who feel different, then please give some solid suggestion to this youngster.

Comment # 4

Quote:

by VictoryEverlasting on Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:58 am
Gagandeep Singh...you're not alone in this.
I am in the states and after 9/11, everyone wanted a piece of me...haha
Imagine a world where every single person gives you hostile looks and most others pass remarks

Stand tall brother...and remain firm...do not cower away from this filth.
At the same time, control your anger and use tolerance
They keep doing it becasue they get a reaction from you.
Next time, just smile at them and ignore them...because talk is cheap.

....and keep a hand ready to strike only as the absolute last measure.
that is if they are coming to hit you.

Comment # 5

Quote:

by gagandeep on Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:17 pm
Thanks Victoryeverlasting and others for nice comments.

I think that i am getting very less dose of discrimination as compared to many others who are on the forum

This incident and responses from other members of forum is making me strong. I am learning to ignore them and going better day by day , Also now i feel that I am more close to gurbani and Kirtan

My Faith in Shri Guru Granth Saheb ji is now increased thousands of times

Comment # 6

Quote:

by VictoryEverlasting on Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:23 am
wjkk wjkf Gagandeep
and remember, there will always be people...throughout your life who will casually tell you
'cut your hair... or trim your hair....its not a big deal'

I am 25 and I still run into those people..and instantly kick them out of my friends circle...
always be wary of your company...wjkk wjkf

Comment # 7

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee

by Lee Douglas on Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:52 pm
Gagandeep Ji,

I had refused to comment on your post as I am English and have no experiance of what it is like to live in India. However I am very glad to see that due to our cyber sangat here you are feeling more confidant and stronger, now I feel I can make comment on your predictiment.

I am now and have been for as long as I can remember considered strange. I am not like my siblings, nor am I like the vast majority of those whom I call friends (I'll not bore you with the detials, surffice to say my spirtuality has somewhat to do with it). This has been my life for the entirty of my life, I was bullied at school for the whole of my time there.

Differance's matter when we are young(for many reasons some vailid, some not) and in truth some adults never become adult enough so that diferance cease to be important. You have recived some great advise here and in truth I hope it helps, but I tell you this to show you that you are not alone, and to show you that Shakesphere made a very important discovery when he said:

'This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans't not be false to any man'

To which I would also offer this advise.

Be the person who you are my young freind, let none gainsay your right to be so, be strong and belive me, as you grow into adulthood people will see YOU, and those who will become important to you will love you for YOU. As for the rest, then accord them them the same right,let them bne who they will be, good or bad.

Heh in a sense I guess I'm saying that the old addage, 'Kill them them all and let God sort it out' has more truth to it than at first seems.

I'm not sure how much help that will be, but let me offer one final piece of advise to you, never be scared of asking for help, we all need it from time to time.

I truey hope your troubles cease. As an adult who come through a turbulent childhood, I know that if you can just hang on until your shcooling is finished, you WILL be a very strong person for it.(strong in spirit and ethics you understand) You will be in my thoughts, and my Ardaas will continue to reflect this.

Comment # 9

Quote:

by Nihang on Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:07 am
Dear little brother
I studied in a sikh school a famous school Budhadal Public school patiala and i have witnessed sikhs making fun of sikhs on the basis of castes or hair or even turban styles in my school though i was never on the receiving side nor on the giveing but i was a good observer. I was never on the recieving side may be i was physical strong guy and i never showed any fear or interest in them thats what i think which protected me. I even tried to help few kids in my school but it never showed up any result because few of them never took the stand for themselves.

So I know whats going in punjab schools I have seen it all but it will end after ur 12th standard as soon as u get in some professional college same people will treat u with respect but till then eat and grow physically join a gym or some game or join gatka classes here u will surely find new friends who will respect u and meditate and grow spiritually. You have to takep ur stand and u have to do it for urself.

Feel like a singh and walk like a singh and when needed roar like a singh.

Baki i m in patiala just 2 hours from you and we have a strong base of dal panth nihang singh at rakba village near mullanpur headquarters of budhadal just 20 km from ludhiana so if u ever want few big nihang singh to walk with you though ur school or play ground let me know

Comment # 10

Quote:

by lotus lion on Tue Dec 29, 2009 10:21 pm
Hi,

In my eyes, actively pursuing the Sikh Dharma is one of the most "purest" and noblest of aspirations as the fruits that one is rewarded with are incredible.
This includes actively working towards a secure and stable nature, a sense of fearlessness, righteousness and generosity as well as a good solid confident vibe that has huge effects in ones life as well as those around yourself, to name but a few.
It sets ones mind in such a place that one begins to embody the virtues that The Guru Granth Sahib teaches as apposed to the ones Society tells ones to have and through that, one begins to work towards attaining a deep seated sense of annand with equipoise.

In the Guru Granth Sahib it teaches:

Amriṯ velā sacẖ nā▫o vadi▫ā▫ī vīcẖār.
In the Amrit Vaylaa, the ambrosial hours before dawn, chant the True Name, and contemplate His Glorious Greatness.

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ang 2

vadi▫ā▫ī vīcẖār. I have translated this to mean greatly study/comprehend/understand the nature of God.
Reading the teachings has a really good effect and is a great starting point, but understanding and living the teachings is perhaps the highest of all and will help you Ten fold throughout your life.

If one feels that cutting their Kesh and mixing in is right to stop the bullying is right, then do it, but being perfectly honest i could not advise of it.

In maintaining the Kesh, one connects to The Dharma. Whilst one does not necessarily learn due to form alone, it makes more conducive to practice. Essentially one is setting himself up to move in harmony with the Divine Nature of God - The Hukam - giving prominance to the most deepest and far reaching aspect of thier life.
I am of the belief that growing the hair long is not necessarily the objective, rather it is letting go of the concept of self-identity that stems from the Haumai - Ego.

Man ṯūŉ maṯ māṇ karahi jė ha▫o kicẖẖ jāṇḏā gurmukẖ nimāṇā hohu.
O mind, don't be so proud of yourself, as if you know it all; the Gurmukh is humble and modest.

Anṯar agi▫ān ha▫o buḏẖ hai sacẖ sabaḏ mal kẖohu.
Within the intellect are ignorance and ego; through the True Word of the Shabad, this filth is washed off.

Hohu nimāṇā saṯgurū agai maṯ kicẖẖ āp lakẖāvhe.
So be humble, and surrender to the True Guru; do not attach your identity to your ego.

Āpṇai ahaŉkār jagaṯ jali▫ā maṯ ṯūŉ āpṇā āp gavāvhe.
The world is consumed by ego and self-identity; see this, lest you lose your own self as well.

Saṯgur kai bẖāṇai karahi kār saṯgur kai bẖāṇai lāg rahu.
Make yourself follow the Sweet Will of the True Guru; remain attached to His Sweet Will.

I▫o kahai Nānak āp cẖẖad sukẖ pāvahi man nimāṇā ho▫e rahu. ||7||
Thus says Nanak: renounce your ego and self-conceit, and obtain peace; let your mind abide in humility.

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ang 441

According to the Guru Granth Sahib, the Haumai is what is acting as barrier to the understanding ones trues nature which is essentially the Aatma - Soul - and as a result is also stopping one directly experiencing God. When one moves in accordance to the Hukum by following the teachings of the Guru, Haumai naturally begins to disolve.

Kiv sacẖi▫ārā ho▫ī▫ai kiv kūrhai ṯutai pāl.
So how can you become truthful? And how can the veil of illusion be torn away?

Hukam rajā▫ī cẖalṇā Nānak likẖi▫ā nāl. ||1||
O Nanak, it is written that you shall obey the Hukam of His Command, and walk in the Way of His Will. ||1||
...
Nānak hukmai je bujẖai ṯa ha▫umai kahai na ko▫e. ||2||
O Nanak, one who understands His Command, does not speak in ego. ||2||

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ang 1

When one transmutes all habitual impulses that rise from the Self, one returns to their original state, restoring the natural integrity of the Human body as all traces of a Self have been eradicated.
This would manifest in the form of Kesh for the vast majority of people, hence the command by Guru Gobind Singh by way of the Panj Kakkars.

Thanks,

Lotus

Comment # 11

Quote:

by lotus lion on Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:58 am
Hi,

I would also like to say that I live in East London, An area which has a pretty high concentration of Muslims.

On several occasions in my life, even to this day, i have been questioned quite aggressively by Muslim brothers on the Sikh Dharma, not to interface, but to convert me to pick up what i can only call browny points. I say unashamedly that initially i did not have answers and they would effectively laugh and mock me when i refused to convert.

I then went away and not only studied the Sikh Dharma in as much depth as possible, but live it, experience it, and also looked into Islam at the same time.

Now not only can i answer questions posed to me, i turned the questions onto them so they had to go away to get answers.

I wish to stress that these people are highly effective trained professionals with lots of support behind them, using structured arguments and most possibly receiving payments of some nature with regards to this.
I have none of these yet today i can hold my ground against people who wish to convert me a lot more easily because i made my "Jhoor" - strength - and am a better person for it.

Ironically had i not met these Brothers, i would not be as deep into Sikhi as i am today, nor have the ability to help other Sikhs in similar positions to myself.

If i can hold my own and turn the tables against groups of Professional Muslim Converters, I am pretty sure you can hold your own against these bullies with ease.

Your Brother in Sikhi,

Lotus

Comment # 12

Quote:

by rehatmaryada on Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:30 pm
It's simply Bullying! Complain to your teacher again, whom already gave warning to them. Tell your teacher you are going to the head master /principle. Go to the Principle/head master, don't give up! Go to him again, Keep bugging him as long as they are bugging you. You have to keep fighting. There are no easy roads. Tell more teachers. They can't be all ignorant, if they are, then it is systematical. Don't forget you said you were in a convent school and they probably want you to convert.

Another way is to let them bark and just ignore them and focus on your studies.

I have survived schooling and university in China where absolutely nobody knows anything about Sikhism (maybe know that I am an Indian) and some of them thought I am an Arab and have links to Taliban. I attained First Class Honours Degree.

Who said it was easy to be a SIkh?

"jo tho praem khaelan kaa chaao || sir dhhar thalee galee maeree aao || eith maarag pair dhhareejai ||sir dheejai kaan n keejai ||20||"

If you desire to play this game of love with Me, then step onto My Path with your head in hand.
When you place your feet on this Path, give Me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion. ||20||

Page 1412 of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

Comment # 13

Quote:

Originally Posted by max314

by max314 on Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:40 pm
Children always pick on the child who is different.

It's the same with adults, although adults do it in a slightly different way. It tends to be less obvious.

People pick on those who are different because it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel superior. It makes them feel as though they are part of a collective, as though they are accepted by the group, as though they have some sort of respect.

But the truth is that these people are weak. When the time comes to leave the school playground and to find their identity in the world, they will crumble and become integrated into a homogeneous system because they are too afraid to be themselves.

You - on the other hand - are having a crash course in 'identity training'. You're learning what it means to be an individual, to be different. You're learning what it means to be special. And being special often means one has to face ridicule and persecution, but it also means that you are free in a way that others are not. People like yourself are not bound by the rules that limit those around you.

I know it's hard. I know it's tough. But you have to learn to process what people say in a new way - instead of seeing it as, "They're putting me down..." try to see it as, "Wow - I'm actually different from this lot. I'm not like the poor, mindless masses. I am me. And I am free. Thank God I'm not one of them!"

It's all about perspective. So try to train yourself to see the world through this perspective.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Narayanjot Kaur · #3 (**permalink**) 02-Jan-2010, 23:11 PM

This could almost be a research project. An analysis of forum responses that allow some young men to find themes that stay in mind for a long time. Rescue!

kds1980 · #4 (**permalink**) 02-Jan-2010, 23:48 PM

Which country is this Guy from?

BhagatSingh · #5 (**permalink**) 03-Jan-2010, 02:52 AM

YouTube- Rabbi shergill - pagri

kds1980 · #6 (**permalink**) 03-Jan-2010, 03:11 AM

The best way to overcome this problem is start dominating the fields whether it is study,sports or anything which you are good.After that start helping your classmates which are in need.soon you will not only earn their respect but they will also come to protect you from these things.My younger brother has done mastery in this art and he has so many followers now.Anywhere No one can speak a word against him.It is not because he is a bully but because he has earned so much goodwill everywhere that if anyone will speak against him he will automatically make 10 enemies.Physical fighting,complaining these things will only make matter worse

max314 · #7 (**permalink**) 04-Jan-2010, 02:42 AM

Brother Kanwardeep is absolutely correct. It's all about confidence and helping others.

If you project confidence, people will look up to you. If you help others, people will look up to you.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=28745
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=28745

It's about enforcing the image of turban-wearing Sikhs as kind, confident individuals. Indeed, that's how everyone should strive to be.

nonakaur · #8 (**permalink**) 30-Jan-2010, 07:45 AM

My son is in US and he is just seven years old. He wears patka and looks very cute. When he got into US school for first time, he told me only one thing that he does not want to annoy Guru Gobind Singh jee by cutting his hair. He said that he is very confident about his looks and explains everyone very confidently that these are his hairs and not a BALL. The most frustrating situation for him is when someone misunderstands that he is a girl with long hair.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=28745
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=28745
To counteract this, he tells everyone on meeting that he is not a girl.I think he is quite bold and confident about his hair.Surprisingly, we all have a hair cut, but my son wears patka.

Until now he has not recieved any slanderous remarks or comments about his hair in USA in school. I just pray that his confidence to face this world grows stronger everyday.

So, be brave feel confident about yours unique looks.

dalbirk · #9 (**permalink**) 30-Jan-2010, 13:58 PM

Dear Gagandeep Singh ,
WJKK WJKF
You are very much on the right path young Khalsa Ji . As I'm living in Ludhiana , so you can contact me anytime . These so called herd mentality youngsters are a just bunch of confused lot who will probabely never grow up into successful adults . Never stray from the path you have chosen , because one day you may realise how LUCKY you were to have sticked to Guruji's Baana . I also thank Waheguru because despite being born into an atheist family , I did not cut my hair nor I did ever drink even beer . Today for last three years since I discovered Sikhi , I thank Waheguru daily that HE did not let me stray from the path because if had strayed , I would never ever had discovered SIKHI .