Interacial Relationships

mattike · #1 (**permalink**) 02-Jul-2005, 14:26 PM

Ok i started dating this idian girl who is sikh and her parents "found out" about us tonight an im really worried about her...we are both 20 but her sister went crazy on me threatening to sic her cousins on me. Im caucasion, and i was wondering, is there somthing in the skih religeon that prohibits interacial relationships? And if not, is there anyone that is indian here an knows the culture and how they view that issue...i jus want to know what im up against. i really care about this girl, she is so speacial, and its not like im a immoral guy, im a very decent guy compared to the steriotypical view of men these days. i just dont understand what i did wrong or her for that matter. we are both concenting adults an its not like we are having sex or anything. Can someone help me out with this? thanks
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/4704-interacial-relationships.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=4704

drkhalsa · #2 (**permalink**) 02-Jul-2005, 18:24 PM

well dear friend

What think you are facing is conservative cultural values and these are common to all the people living in eastern countries ( well majority of them if not all )

Now about sikh religion therer is nothing against interracial relation ship .

Jatinder Singh

mattike · #3 (**permalink**) 02-Jul-2005, 22:15 PM

that being said, do you tihnk its worth fighting her parents for her? i mean no so much fighting but you know continuing dating this wonderful girl. I only ask not because she doesnt mean enough to me but because i ruined my relationship with my parents forever over a girl and i regret it. I dont want to cause her to do the same with hers...they seem like a pretty close family. what do you think, is it right to pursue somthing her family is so strongly opposed to?

mattike · #4 (**permalink**) 04-Jul-2005, 13:18 PM

Also a little update. i saw her today at work and i asked her about it an she started crying. She told me her parents told her they wish she was never born and that they wish she would die. Her brother told her she was a cheap ***** and should go kill herself as her sister told she was a slut an stupid an had no idea what she was doing. They accuse her of having sexual intercourse with me but we have not! the only think we have done is kiss. They took her drivers license, computer, phone and money/credit cards all away. They keep a constant watch on her, not letting her go anywhere unless someone goes with her. Its rediculous, she is 20. she isnt a little kid anymore. She is sikh, but i dont think she is a very stout sikh as the rest of her family might be. I told her to move in with me for awhile, that she needed to give them time to cool off, or else they will get worse. She has already told me that she doesnt want to stop dating me and that she loves me, but i can see she loves her family because the things that they say, even know she knows its not true, hurt her so deeply. i made it clear i would totaly understand if she chose her family over me. i love this girl but i dont want to see her miserable because of me. Thats the problem, because everyday we continue on this, she is going to be treated worse an worse by her family and thus making her miserable, not happy as is the goal of a good relationship, and i will not behappy because my presense is basicly causing her misery. if i end it with us, it will hurt, and she might even be more miserable for a time, but she will get over it an maybe her ignorant parents will find her someone she likes an she will be happy. i dont know what to do, im so worried. She told me straight out she wanted to die an has tried to cut her wrists 2 times. she hasnt eaten in days. i am so worried. Is this right or custom the way indian parents will treat a child over such a petty matter? the color of my skin, why should i have to be sikh if she isnt even praticing the faith? i am a christian, im not a practicing christian either, but i have m y beliefs and i would repsect any beliefs her or her parents have. Then i also feel bad because if she does move in an say we do end up getting married, but her family would hat her, would she be any happier with me than without me? help me out, place any views or advice you can muster up, i am up worried so i have plenty of time to read. thanks again

drkhalsa · #5 (**permalink**) 04-Jul-2005, 13:27 PM

dear Brother

right now I am in bit hurry I will try to write something today evenning after work ..

Jatinder Singh

truthseeker · #6 (**permalink**) 05-Jul-2005, 06:50 AM

Dear Mattike ji,

I honestly think that maybe her parents are going a bit overboard with the whole issue, but calling her all those horrible names. I have a cousin who is about 22 now. and he had been dating a white girl for 6 years without his parents knowing they were very much in love at the time but one day this parents found out and it was really bad. Like your girlfriend he tried to commit suicide but was unsuccessful, Thank GOd. they did end up breaking up and now she is happily married and has i believe 2 kids. He on the other hand has found it very hard to cope with it all and is still really upset. This happened about a year and a half ago. I guess maybe im sharing this story with u... because i think it is something that a lot of indian ppl face in todays world. Specially becuase our parents are not to big on the whole dating topic, specailly when it is someone of a different race. As for a solution tho.. that is something that only u and her can figure out.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=4704
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=4704
Good luck and GOd bless u for goin through all this trouble