Turban or Scarf for Women?

Caroline ji

Amarsanghera is giving you excellent advice.
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Thank you. I do want to take time to get some understanding, as you say. I don't expect to stop learning at any point because it is already become clear to me that the "essence" of Sikhism is deeper than the oceans and a person could study it every waking moment of their lives and STILL just have scratched the surface -- or so it seems to me. I only wish I would have found Sikhism earlier in my life, but since I didn't, I will spend the rest of my life learning as much as I can.

And I do also believe that the Guru will help me filter it out... one thing I've always known about God is that He loves a heart that seeks after him and if you really want his guidance he will give it. Or so it has been for me in my life.

My Sikh friend says that her belief in reincarnation makes her feel that her soul chose her parents and her family because they could help her learn what she needed to learn for this lifetime and because of that she doesn't really understand changing cultures and religions. For me, I see a sort of opposite picture, in that if we are to learn and evolve in our lifetimes, we have to seek the Truth and get on the path that leads to it. If we are born on a path that doesn't, we need to find one that does. And making the choice to be a Sikh just may have been the challenge and purpose of this lifetime for me.

I agree that all cultures effect their religions and one has to learn to sort out the cultural aspects, especially the ones that have become a sort of deviation, and try to get to the core message. Being from the West, learning Sikhism will probably be pretty complicated and there will be a lot of things that might be hard for me to integrate into my thinking and lifestyle. But I figure I'll just do my best, read the scriptures and ask God to guide me. And try to be a good person and help others.

Thanks!

Since we are also discussing about taking time, here's a relevant poem which has inspired me.

http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-s...-corner-2.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/19517-turban-or-scarf-for-women.html

Read the one with this picture titled Don't Quit.

This is a great question, as I am also new to Sikh, I almost feel as if I want to jump right in, wear the 5 k's, and feel proud of being a Sikh. But, because of my lack of knowledge, I hold back because the last thing I want to do is to be phrased "Sikh wannabe". Far as I have seen, living in America, the Gurdwara I have been to only has 3 white people, me being one of them. The other two were brought there because of Kundalini and take the dress of the 3HO people you see. For me, I wear a Salwar Kameez, but since I lost so much weight, they don't fit well.... but because my hair was cut soooo short before me practicing Sikh, I am embarrassed to wear the chunni because people can see my extreme short hair (why can't hair grow faster, ). I think I will buy a turban and wear a Chunni over it for services... I know Sikhs don't judge, it is all in my head, but I think I would feel less uncomfortable if I wore a turban so that I can concentrate more on the Gurbani!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517

But, I have read that women were given the gift of the turban as well because in Sikhi, they are equal to men. I personally wouldn't mind wearing it at all times, especially if someone asks why, I can tell them about the Sikh faith, which I believe is a plus!!!

I think imho you have solved this problem brilliantly. Don't forget to look at videos that show how to tie a woman's turban Sikh style. It gives you more flexibility too.

This is my favorite one.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517

Adorning weapons, chakars [quoits] and knifes they wore many [in their dumallas – high conical turbans]. Forty kilos of weapons and armour they adorned. Dressed alike were young and old women. They were strong, powerful and of great charity. Some wore dress of women. Five dressed like men [i.e. in full warrior dress]. Getting Singh and Singhnias ready thus. Sending one Sirdar with them, the Singhnia set off towards the royal palace. The powerful Singhs stood outside. All the royal women came out to see them. They [Singhs] had great moustache and beards. Their eyes were full of rage and eyebrows greater. Wearing many weapons. Seeing their great form and beauty, they were as if incarnations of the warrior spirit. The Begams were astonished. Begams sent them [Singhs] gifts. Saluting the Singhs, they sent them away. Then they looked at the Singhnia. They took them into their palace. They [Singhnia] said, “Sat Siri Akal”. They replied “Salaam” and sat them down. Seeing their form and strong bodies. Dressed in armour and weapons. Listening to their conversation of plundering and war. And how to kill a hunt. And how to aim with bows and muskets. Hearing them, they were astonished. Under their ‘Salwars’ [trouser like garments], were ‘Kashehras’ [breeches]. Seeing their great clothes. Listening to their manly words. The Begams were astounded. The four Singhnia had a special female dress. They wore silver ornaments twenty pounds in weight. Seeing this they were awe struck. Their Salwars were twenty yard long. They wore heavy lower garments. Their top knots stood span and half high. Their Shmeezes were of special design. Their physiques were large and heavy. Seeing them the Begams were astounded because they stood unarmed and weak of body. Fearing the Singhnia they cowered to half their size. Then began discussion on religion. Singhnia dismissed all other religions. The traditions of Muslims [Turks] they called false. The way of Mohammed they said was full of faults. The Singhnia described all the atrocities of the Turks. Hearing them the Begams shuddered. Shocked they covered their mouths with their hands. Hearing of the chastity, sincerity and morals of the Singhs. The Begams spoke nodding their heads. “Singhnia you are of great fate. You move about with you husbands. We are pathetic and suffer greatly. Our life is like life imprisonment. One king has sixty wives. By marrying we are as if trapped in a trap”.’
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517


(‘Naveen Panth Prakash’, Giani Gian Singh Nirmala, 1877, Bhasha Vibhag Publication, Pa.1151-1153)

Ishna ji

May I ask you what problem your husband has with your turban? If you wear it at work or at Gurdwara then why he don't like it.Obviously he is not with you at that places so why he object it.A turban is not material that you have to wear 24x7 ,If he don't like it then don't wear it when you are with him .

Soon2bKaur Ji

Head covering is an exciting element of religion, especially in the West which is why you see a) most white converts to Islam start hijab straight away and b) why lots of Muslim sites have sticky threads for new muslimahs to talk about hijab. It's an exciting way to show the world how enamoured you are with your new faith!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517

I don't think you need to feel too self conscious about your extremely short hair. A lot of Sikhs cut their hair now anyway (not that it's ok!!), so they would be hypocrites to judge you. The main thing is that you feel comfortable in Darbar Sahib (the main hall with Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji in it - don't mean to patronize, I'm just not sure which words you already know!), and perhaps you feel more self-conscious with incredibly short hair before your GURUJI than other people?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19517

At any rate, my point of view is this:

1. Dastaar/turban can be worn at any stage on your Sikh journey, but I think it would be lovely to keep it for if you become amritdhari (baptised), and it will have special meaning, and you will feel more confident when people go "what's that thing on your head?" or otherwise challenge you possibly more aggressively because of it.
2. Perhaps you could buy a wide head-band like the one pictured and wear your chunni over that. It will a) cover your short hair and b) help keep your chunni ON your head by giving the chunni something to hold on to.

I hope this helps!

KDS Ji:
(KDS has picked up a line from my deleted post, everyone else can ignore this part of the conversation)

As you are probably aware my husband and I are both white, and I wasn't as devout a Sikh (in fact I wasn't a Sikh, I was only reading about it) when we got together. So he sees turbans as a strange and unusual piece of clothing. He doesn't think they look very feminine, and he loves my long hair. I've tried the "won't it be cool for you knowing you're practically the only one who gets to see my long hair?" approach but he says it's cooler for him for OTHERS to see my hair.

I'm divided on the turban-wearing duration... I don't see the point of wearing a turban at all unless it's for the majority of the time. This might be better in another thread. Turban is an article of uniform, I think if you've decided to wear it you should always wear it in public at least. Then whose to say you won't get called unexpectedly out of the house late at night or have visitors after dinner?

Summed up, he doesn't want to be seen in public with me wearing my beautiful SALWAR KAMEEZ let alone a turban. He doesn't particularly like seeing me with my chunni on my head either.

At any rate, I'm trying subtle things... putting up the painting of the beautiful singhni wearing a turban (so he sees it all the time and gets de-sensitised). He's open to other kinds of head-covering, especially if they look "hippy", so I'm going to experiment with tichels which I think he likes. It's still a question-mark for me at this point as to "if it's not a turban why bother at all" but I feel the need to cover my hair/head with SOMETHING so I might as well follow the instinct.

Does anyone know where I can buy tye-died turban fabric?

KDS Ji, if you want to continue this conversation it's probably best if you PM me please.