Sikh Marriages

I Had the chance to attend marriage Of close relations. The marriage involves following oppurtunities where in there is flow of money. I used to believe that sikh marriages are somewhat cheaper and less ritualistic as compared to Hindus. But it may not be so.

I understand that following activities are involved,I am also indicating the approximate expenses involved.The exact may vary from marriage to marriage depending upon the resourcefulness of the concerned.

Roka/Thaka 0.25 to 1.00
Ring ceremony+Chuni charahna 1.50 to 3lakh

[Girl's parents expenses on jewellery, Gifts like TV, Fridge,Ac, jewellery ,clothing and Misc.] 5 to 10 laks
Sagan 1.50 to 3 lakhs
Marriage reception and party 5lakh 10 lakh
'Lawan- Phere' and breakfast 0.25 t0 1 lakhs
Lump-sum expense of Boy side 5lakhs
Reception By the Boy's Parents 1.50 lakhs to 3 lakhs

Girl's side expenses on lower side.14 lakhs and on upper side Rs.27 lakhs
Boy's side expenses;6.50 to 8.00 lakhs
Total spent 20.50 to 34.50

Or
say, 20 laks to 34 lakhs.

The figures may vary according to one's resourcefulness. I have not added a car or a vehicle that most of the sikhs do give to their daughter on wedding.That will be added to the cost .
It would be 25 to 39 lakhs.
The actual expense can be safely taken as the average of two extremes that is Rs. 32 lakhs.

The marriage involves most of the money being shelled out by the patents of the girl.The boy side can safely reduce the expenses by not throwing reception that is the post marriage expenses.
The expenses from the girl's side is of the order of Rs. 20,lakhs that is phenomenel.I might have excluded some other expenses.

AS per my opinion the sikhs marriages are more ritualistic than thier counterparts and that these expenses should be reduced.The above expenditure estimates are from the middle-middle class family.Further the alarming feature is that most of the sikh marriages invove 5 function on minimum side and almost each of the function is funded by the girl's parents.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/19398-sikh-marriages.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19398
I understand that a non-sikh marriage in US cost about 25-50,000USD.Looking at this figures of Indian marriages are more than the US marriages.I have no figures for US-sikhs marriages.
Could you advise me as to how to get away with the avoidable expenses as most of us ,whteter in India or in US ,do occur expenses on the marriages.You may opine as to the cost and the rituals. Kindly enlighten if there is any edict to sikhs so far as the cost is on a marriage is concerned. Is there some guidance in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.[To the best Of my knowledge there is none]



Thanks!
e&oe

 
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The expenses in sikh marriage's varies from family to family.There are middle class sikhs,lower middle class sikhs who don't spend as much money as you have written.

I don't want an expensive sikh marriage.. and i dun want the bhangra, or the sharab (no pun intended) and i deffientaly don;t wanna dance... i wish i could just go get Lavaan and have it done with....
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19398

Sadly, culture smothers religion, as usual.

Yes, kds ji I am talking of a family whose son did his post graduation in Management from UK and the family income is almost one lakh a month and the girl's father is making about 55 thousant per month.
I think the families will, definetely, qualify for the middle-middle class families if not upper middle class families.

One may cut the expenses ,it is ok. But The range of expenses may still be of the order of the lower side of the figure i.e Rs.12-14 lakhs excluding a car that is not mandatory.It may be reduced further if one can cut the food and the same is not served either lavishly or the food is pure vegetarian. I am talking where the cost per plate is about Rs.800/-. It was a marriage in farms Of Dehli. I am including in it the cost of lighting, flower decoration , pandaal and gate for Milni etc.On higher side per plate expense varies to 1100/-

[ Brodaly speaking 5 lakhs for jewellery+clothing+furniture
[another five lakhs for reception of baraat and making stay in Hotel for the stay of the Baraat,including the cost of Breakfast after lavaan and Miscellaneous transportation expenses] 5-6lakhs

[roka, thakka,chunni Charhana ,ring ceremony, rent for the space]=2lakhs

I do not think if the costs can be reduced beyond this.Yes, this is based on the figures where one has to pay for the of the place/farm for the reception of baraat. Further it is also assumed that no outside caterer is to be taken for managing and prepration of the food and alcohol.This service is to be taken from the keeper of the farm


To Sherab ji.
True and needless to say that alcohol is an integral part Of marriage parties. One has to take the formal approval of the concerned Excise Authorities.

e&oe

These families are upper middle class not middle class .Middle class start from 8000 per month to 40-50 thousand This is mainly lower or real middle class

I am not in total agreement that middle class family income is 8000/pm.It should not be so as the salary Of peon falls in Taxable slab these days.The bank's cleark gets almost 7-10,000/-,The employee in call centre begins at 12-15000/- p.m. The things have changed eversince the economies have opened up and the outsourcing phenomenon has started. Even a non-graduate with good language skills are maiking Rs 10000-15000. The entry level salary of an engineer is about Rs 3.5- to 6 lakhs.The salary of post graduate in Management from IIMs/FMS/XLRI/NMDS/IMT and even other institututes like IIPM is in the range 8-10 lakhs.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19398
The figures of other institutes may attract a salary of 3/4 lakhs a month.
Yes, the things may be different for those who are not resourceful to afford engineering or medical colleges Fee.
I ,therefore , do not agree that Rs.8000 is the limit of middle class family. A family of five or six may have more than 2/3 earning members , atleast, in Metro politan areas. I am talking Of Dehli in the present case.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

Sikh80 ji,
ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ਘਰੁ ੨ ਛੰਤ
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19398
सिरीरागु महला ४ घरु २ छंत
Sirīrāg mehlā 4 gẖar 2 cẖẖanṯ
Siree Raag, Fourth Mehl, Second House, Chant:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
ੴ सतिगुर प्रसादि ॥
Ik­oaʼnkār saṯgur parsāḏ.
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਮੁੰਧ ਇਆਣੀ ਪੇਈਅੜੈ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਦਰਸਨੁ ਪਿਖੈ ॥
मुंध इआणी पेईअड़ै किउ करि हरि दरसनु पिखै ॥
Munḏẖ i­āṇī pė­ī­aṛai ki­o kar har ḏarsan pikẖai.
How can the ignorant soul-bride obtain the Blessed Vision of the Lord's Darshan, while she is in this world of her father's home?

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਅਪਨੀ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਾਹੁਰੜੈ ਕੰਮ ਸਿਖੈ ॥
हरि हरि अपनी किरपा करे गुरमुखि साहुरड़ै कम सिखै ॥
Har har apnī kirpā karė gurmukẖ sāhurṛai kamm sikẖai.
When the Lord Himself grants His Grace, the Gurmukh learns the duties of her Husband's Celestial Home.

ਸਾਹੁਰੜੈ ਕੰਮ ਸਿਖੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਸਦਾ ਧਿਆਏ ॥
साहुरड़ै कम सिखै गुरमुखि हरि हरि सदा धिआए ॥
Sāhurṛai kamm sikẖai gurmukẖ har har saḏā ḏẖi­ā­ė.
The Gurmukh learns the duties of her Husband's Celestial Home; she meditates forever on the Lord, Har, Har.

ਸਹੀਆ ਵਿਚਿ ਫਿਰੈ ਸੁਹੇਲੀ ਹਰਿ ਦਰਗਹ ਬਾਹ ਲੁਡਾਏ ॥
सहीआ विचि फिरै सुहेली हरि दरगह बाह लुडाए ॥
Sahī­ā vicẖ firai suhėlī har ḏargeh bāh ludā­ė.
She walks happily among her companions, and in the Lord's Court, she swings her arms joyfully.

ਲੇਖਾ ਧਰਮ ਰਾਇ ਕੀ ਬਾਕੀ ਜਪਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਕਿਰਖੈ ॥
लेखा धरम राइ की बाकी जपि हरि हरि नामु किरखै ॥
Lėkẖā ḏẖaram rā­ė kī bākī jap har har nām kirkẖai.
Her account is cleared by the Righteous Judge of Dharma, when she chants the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

ਮੁੰਧ ਇਆਣੀ ਪੇਈਅੜੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹਰਿ ਦਰਸਨੁ ਦਿਖੈ ॥੧॥
मुंध इआणी पेईअड़ै गुरमुखि हरि दरसनु दिखै ॥१॥
Munḏẖ i­āṇī pė­ī­aṛai gurmukẖ har ḏarsan ḏikẖai. ||1||
The ignorant soul-bride becomes Gurmukh, and gains the Blessed Vision of the Lord's Darshan, while she is still in her father's house. ||1||

ਵੀਆਹੁ ਹੋਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖੇ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
वीआहु होआ मेरे बाबुला गुरमुखे हरि पाइआ ॥
vī­āhu ho­ā mėrė babulā gurmukẖė har pā­i­ā.
My marriage has been performed, O my father. As Gurmukh, I have found the Lord.

ਅਗਿਆਨੁ ਅੰਧੇਰਾ ਕਟਿਆ ਗੁਰ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਪ੍ਰਚੰਡੁ ਬਲਾਇਆ ॥
अगिआनु अंधेरा कटिआ गुर गिआनु प्रचंडु बलाइआ ॥
Agi­ān anḏẖėrā kati­ā gur gi­ān parcẖand balā­i­ā.
The darkness of ignorance has been dispelled. The Guru has revealed the blazing light of spiritual wisdom.

ਬਲਿਆ ਗੁਰ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਅੰਧੇਰਾ ਬਿਨਸਿਆ ਹਰਿ ਰਤਨੁ ਪਦਾਰਥੁ ਲਾਧਾ ॥
बलिआ गुर गिआनु अंधेरा बिनसिआ हरि रतनु पदारथु लाधा ॥
Bali­ā gur gi­ān anḏẖėrā binsi­ā har raṯan paḏārath lāḏẖā.
This spiritual wisdom given by the Guru shines forth, and the darkness has been dispelled. I have found the Priceless Jewel of the Lord.

ਹਉਮੈ ਰੋਗੁ ਗਇਆ ਦੁਖੁ ਲਾਥਾ ਆਪੁ ਆਪੈ ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਖਾਧਾ ॥
हउमै रोगु गइआ दुखु लाथा आपु आपै गुरमति खाधा ॥
Ha­umai rog ga­i­ā ḏukẖ lāthā āp āpai gurmaṯ kẖāḏẖā.
The sickness of my ego has been dispelled, and my pain is over and done. Through the Guru's Teachings, my identity has consumed my identical identity.

ਅਕਾਲ ਮੂਰਤਿ ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਅਬਿਨਾਸੀ ਨਾ ਕਦੇ ਮਰੈ ਨ ਜਾਇਆ ॥
अकाल मूरति वरु पाइआ अबिनासी ना कदे मरै न जाइआ ॥
Akāl mūraṯ var pā­i­ā abẖināsī nā kaḏė marai na jā­i­ā.
I have obtained my Husband Lord, the Akaal Moorat, the Undying Form. He is Imperishable; He shall never die, and He shall never ever leave.

ਵੀਆਹੁ ਹੋਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੋਲਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖੇ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ॥੨॥
वीआहु होआ मेरे बाबोला गुरमुखे हरि पाइआ ॥२॥
vī­āhu ho­ā mėrė bābolā gurmukẖė har pā­i­ā. ||2||
My marriage has been performed, O my father. As Gurmukh, I have found the Lord. ||2||

ਹਰਿ ਸਤਿ ਸਤੇ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮਿਲਿ ਜੰਞ ਸੁਹੰਦੀ ॥
हरि सति सते मेरे बाबुला हरि जन मिलि जंञ सुहंदी ॥
Har saṯ saṯė mėrė babulā har jan mil jañ suhanḏī.
The Lord is the Truest of the True, O my father. Meeting with the humble servants of the Lord, the marriage procession looks beautiful.

ਪੇਵਕੜੈ ਹਰਿ ਜਪਿ ਸੁਹੇਲੀ ਵਿਚਿ ਸਾਹੁਰੜੈ ਖਰੀ ਸੋਹੰਦੀ ॥
पेवकड़ै हरि जपि सुहेली विचि साहुरड़ै खरी सोहंदी ॥
Pėvkaṛai har jap suhėlī vicẖ sāhurṛai kẖarī sohanḏī.
She who chants the Lord's Name is happy in this world of her father's home, and in the next world of her Husband Lord, she shall be very beautiful.

ਸਾਹੁਰੜੈ ਵਿਚਿ ਖਰੀ ਸੋਹੰਦੀ ਜਿਨਿ ਪੇਵਕੜੈ ਨਾਮੁ ਸਮਾਲਿਆ ॥
साहुरड़ै विचि खरी सोहंदी जिनि पेवकड़ै नामु समालिआ ॥
Sāhurṛai vicẖ kẖarī sohanḏī jin pėvkaṛai nām samāli­ā.
In her Husband Lord's Celestial Home, she shall be most beautiful, if she has remembered the Naam in this world.

ਸਭੁ ਸਫਲਿਓ ਜਨਮੁ ਤਿਨਾ ਦਾ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਜਿਨਾ ਮਨੁ ਜਿਣਿ ਪਾਸਾ ਢਾਲਿਆ ॥
सभु सफलिओ जनमु तिना दा गुरमुखि जिना मनु जिणि पासा ढालिआ ॥
Sabẖ safli­o janam ṯinā ḏā gurmukẖ jinā man jiṇ pāsā dẖāli­ā.
Fruitful are the lives of those who, as Gurmukh, have conquered their minds-they have won the game of life.

ਹਰਿ ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਮਿਲਿ ਕਾਰਜੁ ਸੋਹਿਆ ਵਰੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਅਨੰਦੀ ॥
हरि संत जना मिलि कारजु सोहिआ वरु पाइआ पुरखु अनंदी ॥
Har sanṯ janā mil kāraj sohi­ā var pā­i­ā purakẖ anandī.
Joining with the humble Saints of the Lord, my actions bring prosperity, and I have obtained the Lord of Bliss as my Husband.

ਹਰਿ ਸਤਿ ਸਤਿ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੋਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮਿਲਿ ਜੰਞ ਸਹੰਦੀ ॥੩॥
हरि सति सति मेरे बाबोला हरि जन मिलि जंञ सोहंदी ॥३॥
Har saṯ saṯ mėrė bābolā har jan mil jañ sohanḏī. ||3||
The Lord is the Truest of the True, O my father. Joining with the humble servants of the Lord, the marriage party has been embellished. ||3||

ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥
हरि प्रभु मेरे बाबुला हरि देवहु दानु मै दाजो ॥
Har parabẖ mėrė babulā har ḏėvhu ḏān mai ḏājo.
O my father, give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry.


ਹਰਿ ਕਪੜੋ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਸਵਰੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਾਜੋ ॥
हरि कपड़ो हरि सोभा देवहु जितु सवरै मेरा काजो ॥
Har kapṛo har sobẖā ḏėvhu jiṯ savrai mėrā kājo.
Give me the Lord as my wedding gown, and the Lord as my glory, to accomplish my works.

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੀ ਕਾਜੁ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਦਾਨੁ ਦਿਵਾਇਆ ॥
हरि हरि भगती काजु सुहेला गुरि सतिगुरि दानु दिवाइआ ॥
Har har bẖagṯī kāj suhėlā gur saṯgur ḏān ḏivā­i­ā.
Through devotional worship to the Lord, this ceremony is made blissful and beautiful; the Guru, the True Guru, has given this gift.

ਖੰਡਿ ਵਰਭੰਡਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਈ ਇਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਰਲੈ ਰਲਾਇਆ ॥
खंडि वरभंडि हरि सोभा होई इहु दानु न रलै रलाइआ ॥
Kẖand varbẖand har sobẖā ho­ī ih ḏān na ralai ralā­i­ā.
Across the continents, and throughout the Universe, the Lord's Glory is pervading. This gift is not diminished by being diffused among all.

ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥
होरि मनमुख दाजु जि रखि दिखालहि सु कूड़ु अहंकारु कचु पाजो ॥
Hor manmukẖ ḏāj je rakẖ ḏikẖāleh so kūṛ ahaʼnkār kacẖ pājo.
Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display.

ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥੪॥
हरि प्रभ मेरे बाबुला हरि देवहु दानु मै दाजो ॥४॥
Har parabẖ mėrė babulā har ḏėvhu ḏān mai ḏājo. ||4||
O my father, please give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry. ||4||

ਹਰਿ ਰਾਮ ਰਾਮ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੋਲਾ ਪਿਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਧਨ ਵੇਲ ਵਧੰਦੀ ॥
हरि राम राम मेरे बाबोला पिर मिलि धन वेल वधंदी ॥
Har rām rām mėrė bābolā pir mil ḏẖan vėl vaḏẖanḏī.
The Lord, Raam, Raam, is All-pervading, O my father. Meeting her Husband Lord, the soul-bride blossoms forth like the flourishing vine.

ਹਰਿ ਜੁਗਹ ਜੁਗੋ ਜੁਗ ਜੁਗਹ ਜੁਗੋ ਸਦ ਪੀੜੀ ਗੁਰੂ ਚਲੰਦੀ ॥
हरि जुगह जुगो जुग जुगह जुगो सद पीड़ी गुरू चलंदी ॥
Har jugah jugo jug jugah jugo saḏ pīṛī gurū cẖalanḏī.
In age after age, through all the ages, forever and ever, those who belong to the Guru's Family shall prosper and increase.

ਜੁਗਿ ਜੁਗਿ ਪੀੜੀ ਚਲੈ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕੀ ਜਿਨੀ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇਆ ॥
जुगि जुगि पीड़ी चलै सतिगुर की जिनी गुरमुखि नामु धिआइआ ॥
Jug jug pīṛī cẖalai saṯgur kī jinī gurmukẖ nām ḏẖi­ā­i­ā.
Age after age, the Family of the True Guru shall increase. As Gurmukh, they meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

ਹਰਿ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਨ ਕਬ ਹੀ ਬਿਨਸੈ ਜਾਵੈ ਨਿਤ ਦੇਵੈ ਚੜੈ ਸਵਾਇਆ ॥
हरि पुरखु न कब ही बिनसै जावै नित देवै चड़ै सवाइआ ॥
Har purakẖ na kab hī binsai jāvai niṯ ḏėvai cẖaṛai savā­i­ā.
The Almighty Lord never dies or goes away. Whatever He gives, keeps on increasing.

ਨਾਨਕ ਸੰਤ ਸੰਤ ਹਰਿ ਏਕੋ ਜਪਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਸੋਹੰਦੀ ॥
नानक संत संत हरि एको जपि हरि हरि नामु सोहंदी ॥
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=19398
Nānak sanṯ sanṯ har ėko jap har har nām sohanḏī.
O Nanak, the One Lord is the Saint of Saints. Chanting the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, the soul-bride is bountiful and beautiful.

ਹਰਿ ਰਾਮ ਰਾਮ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਪਿਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਧਨ ਵੇਲ ਵਧੰਦੀ ॥੫॥੧॥
हरि राम राम मेरे बाबुला पिर मिलि धन वेल वधंदी ॥५॥१॥
Har rām rām mėrė babulā pir mil ḏẖan vėl vaḏẖanḏī. ||5||1||
The Lord, Raam, Raam, is All-pervading, O my father. Meeting her Husband Lord, the soul-bride blossoms forth like the flourishing vine. ||5||1||
Source: Sri Granth: Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

Dear sikh80

I am not at all saying that 8000 is limit I am just saying that a 8000-10000 is starting of middle class.Just check the salaries of governement a clerk's salary start at 8000 and even top officers only get 30,000-40,000 so above 50,000 per month is upper middle class

Dera kds,
The government slaries are not the datum these days as the govt. emplyee always have some perks which others do not have.I need not explain here.it is better to study the salary struc. of Government cirporation/some private banks. This can be a good datum.

I don't need to study Gov employees perks .my father itself was government servant and there are very few perks.Beleive me the data i have written above is 100% true.