Lust & Sexuality

Im trying to make a new poat but i dont know how since the sites design and theme has changed...

But i really need help...as a teenager i have had many problems...and one of them being lust. I am embarrased to talk about this.... but it has to be done. I really don't want to talk about it, but i must...

I had started puberty as every teenager goes through. But i regret to 'self-abuse', masturbation. I have had the priviledge to access dirty websites since becoming a teenager. I have become a slave of pornography... Since then, i would endulge in self abuse... self exploring myself...and afterwards...i have felt really dirty and very very depressed... i have become weak minded, very nervous and quickly embarrased... i am now 19 and still carry on this dirty behaviour. I just feel as if I have lost alot...and when i mean lost alot im talking about vital body energy...life force energy..which i think has led me to stop growing properly...i feel sick very often... and tired and its like a hellish experience which i cant describe... I feel as if the damage has already been done... i would use any means necessary to go to dirty websites and surf everyday...go on chatrooms which are bad.... im a really good person, and love my family...but since i was young, ive had these habbits and have felt like a sick puppet to pornography....i cant help it...and once i have finnished with this dirty session, i would feel so guilty and depressed...i would cry inside....i dont know whats wrong with me... i feel so fed up of life...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/17736-lust-and-sexuality.html


I try to ask myself what should i do? Start doing yoga...take cold baths to cure myself...what should i do? I feel so confused in life....i really feel its hard to stop thinking about the damage that is already caused...i just wish i could rewind my past...and stop this bad habbit...i feel a loss of speech and would cry inside suddenly..whenever i talk to anyone...Its hard to express myself...i have empty feelings inside of me....im really stressed!!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736
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'From the light we had come from...to the light we shall go back to'

Nothing wrong with masturbation. You need to be more careful about *sex* though, do not indulge in that... Better to deal with issues yourself then use others for lustful needs...

LOL

stop wallowing in self guilt...

all go through this and what is important is how you "outgrow" it and not "stop" it
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

play sports and change your focus....get some hobby and maybe you will have lesser time at hand to play with yourself and then wallow in guilt

I think many of us go through this phase. I have no idea how so many of us end up in this problem but it's common.

Based on personal experiances/friends experiances -

I would suggest:
- 1- Working out // do lot's of physically demanding work.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736
It's about keeping the body busy and eventually making it tired so it can't do anything. It also helps in releaving all that energy that is built up. In addition to this it keeps your mind from getting bored and wondering off into 'bad land'.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

- 2 - Psychologically tune yourself.
This method worked for me and two other mates. Basically, make a promise to yourself or create a little scanario in your mind where someone who hold dear to your will DIE if you ever masturbate again. Simply having the idea that your sending someone to death if you dare take your brain into that direction has an immidate effect on your brain. It works as a regulator of some sort which prevents the brain from drifting off.

- 3 - SELF HARM WILL NOT WORK
Believe me. Grabbing a blade and slicing yourself or hitting yourself with a hammer will not work. It works on animals and prevents them from doing the wrong thing twice but as humans we simply don't learn! It ends up leaving some horrible marks too. (pictures are availible). Be sensible and try the other two methods listed above.

I hope that helped.

This is all part of growing up.There is nothing unnatural about this. Keep yourself busy. Being a Sikh you can always start your day with a Paath of Jap ji sahib and in the evening tune in to some channel that relays Rehras sahib.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736
Be in the company of good friends. In your case it appears that you do not have good company.
In the end never indulge in self-pity. Just stop and carry on.

Anoop ji

Look deeply into your heart when you think about my questions. Please do not respond until you are certain that you have really thought things through. You posted a similar comment in another thread. On this thread some respected forum members have taken your question at face value and have attempted advice in the most serious and genuine way. My questions: Why are you asking for advice regarding masturbation on an Internet forum and doing so in such minute detail? Did you seek advice from professional sources (a doctor, a therapist) before sharing your problem with us?

does masturbation need shrink advice?


whoa....seems like suddenly Shrinks might get a lot busy.

but certainly if Anoop feels he is doing it in excess....and that is a relative term....i would rather use the term - uncontrollably..... he should see a shrink
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

amarsanghera,
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

You answer shows great wit.

Oh my friends,

We should not cringe at the discussion of sexuality (like school children). Masturbation is completely natural and without question, an integral and widespread practice. It is actually a healthy practice according to the medical field (you would be a freak if you hadn’t performed it).
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

Here is a list of scientific and medical journals (these are all journal articles from leading professional that you can look up on you own time):

The therapeutic effects of rational masturbation
Journal of Rational- Emotive and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy
Volume 13, Number 3


Human Sperm Competition: Ejaculate Adjustment by Males and the Function of Masturbation
Sperm Competition in Humans (book)

journal of biomedical sciences
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17736

Endocrine response to masturbation-induced orgasm in healthy men following a 3-week sexual abstinence
World Journal of Urology
Publisher
Springer Berlin / Heidelberg
ISSN
0724-4983 (Print) 1433-8726 (Online)
Issue
Volume 19, Number 5 (2001)


This is just the tip of the ice-burg. There are countless other fields of study on masturbation. There are countless more articles by the medical field and they all come to a consensus that this is natural and normal. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Masturbation is not something “you grow out of either”, you just replace it with sex. There have been many colourful attempts by the religious right and even some quack physicians that sadly try to pathologize masturbation (for there own personal gains). Masturbation is also individualistic in nature; some people do it more than others and it is normal in any case unless you feel you cannot do without it in any scenario.

Only certain kinds of people masturbate.

Survey research debunks this myth that only certain people masturbate. Whether you are 19 or 99, religious and conservative or secular and liberal, whether you are a parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt, whether you get around on your own two legs or use a wheelchair, scooter, crutches, or roller-skates to get around, almost everyone has masturbated at some point in their lives, and most of us continue to do so.


We have to learn to embrace sexuality.