Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

and as an aside..the sardar/hindu family has twins - the boy is keshadhree sikh while the girl is hindu...BOTH sat for a public exam recently and while the Boy scored straight A's the Girl failed in 2 subjects and got a C in the remaining three...and i heard it with my own ears the Boy telling his sister...MY WAHEGURU is much stronger than your Maata sheraan wallee !! Since they are close to me as their Teacher as well as friend...i asked what caused him to say this..he replied..i told her to pray to waheguru but she followed mummy ji to the Mandir and prayed to the statue..she deserved what she got...i had to console the girl for quite a while...but i was sure i saw the huge conflict going in inside...the mummy and the father sat nearby...the daddy was beaming and the mummy was crestfallen...

 
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LionSinghji,

I also think we are talking at cross purposes here, you must remember this is a Sikh Philosophical forum, not a general social or marriage forum, so the question is really from a spiritual and religious point of view. My wife is also white, agnostic, and although I have no children of my own, I inherited a 6ft Englishman (also agnostic) as a stepson. Now when we met, I was also agnostic, so everything was peachy, and given your adherent, I can imagine you will advise your children as best you can, but allow them to find their own answers to the question as to spirituality, as indeed would I regarding my stepson, (although who I treat as my own son).

So when I look at a married couple where one is Sikh, and one is Hindu, and they have children, and neither is particularly religious, although both are active socially in religious meetings, then Great, no problem, many many couples that consist of both Sikh parents can do a great job miseducating thier kids in any case, given the appropriate environment, this situation, it really is neither here nor there what adherent, colour, race anyone is.

The problem arises when each parent feels the need to push their own religious background on the kids, and I am sure you would have as much as an issue with this as I would. I used to be a Hedonist, and I admire any responsible hedonist, they can be truer to heart and better of soul than many religious types.

My wife is now appreciating the wonders of Sikhi, the concepts, the philosophy, it keeps our bond and connection with each other together, if my wife was an active Hindu/Christian/Muslim, I think I would find that hard, because we would be poles apart in our basic thinking. I would believe that life ended at death, She would believe that life carried on in Heaven, I believe that Homosexuals are no different to anyone else, and should be able to be themselves with no fuss or bother, She may believe that they are destined for Hell,

Now I am not trying to say the Abrahamic way is better or worse, but it is fundamentally different to Sikh thinking, and I have to confess, if my wife was say, a born again Christian, not just values, but a commited Christian, I think I would find that quite hard from a bonding and communication point of view.

To have children in such an environment would also not be hugely easy, speaking from my own point of view.

Many thanks for putting your point forward, and I completely agree with you that as long as children are not forced to choose, there is no detriment to the children, it is certainly love that brings up children anyway, not religion. To be honest, I dont even think this about the children, it is more about the conflict in parenting, given two very different adherents,

You seem quite angry at our community, and I can understand why, ours is quite a hypocritical community, where race and caste and money all seem to matter more than they should, maybe you feel like I did 8 or 9 years ago, when I would be walking in London with a girlfriend and come across a Sikh family, and instantly feel, I was being judged, I would get glares from the old men, glares from the old women, curiosity from the younger ones, You could amost hear the chatter as you walked away, 'you don't want to end up like him...', well, allow me to suggest a way of making things a bit even, understand what they do not understand, learn what they are not capable of learning, be a Sikh Hedonist, and know that people that judge you so, are very very far way from the essence of Sikhi. Sikhism is all inclusive, even Hedonists

Thanks. I have had a warning too many so dont think I will be welcome on this site much longer.

Should inter-faith marriage happen..well I suppose from many posters here it should not from a personnel opinion. Have I heard any evidence directly from the Gurus condemning it..NO...

Should it be legally allowed and protected by the full force of the law...YES without any doubt.

As you mention "The problem arises when each parent feels the need to push their own religious background on the kids" which is not the childs fault. Good parents of different faiths work together for the childs sake. I re-itereate my point that anyone who says that such marriages/relationships should not be allowed because of the children is deeply mistaken. I seems that you should not have a step son according to some posters logic as you will only confuse him.

As to "PERSONAL INSULTS will not be tolerated" that I understand and it wasnt against a specific poster. I re-iterate that throughout history, from any totalitarian regime is the control of off-spring ...and thus...any born outside the system...the excuse is always that such non-accepted relationships is that the children will suffer. That I find abhorrent whether in a religious,social,racial sense. It is always schadenfreunde for those opposed to find antedoctal experiences to show that the children suffer in a way using emotional blackmail to persuade the couple they will be condemning their off-spring to a form of damnation.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-rehat-maryada/33861-can-sikh-girl-marry-hindu-boy.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=33861

That I believe in my heart is utterly wrong. I objected strongly to anyone using children and their so called "confusion" as a bigoted view.

I believe that there are good parents and bad parents, whether the same religion/nationality/caste/colour/football team etc in both camps. Statistically those born of different mother-tongue language parents achieve much higher academic results (papers provided if needed)

You have a step-son and I dont believe he is confused..in fact I would say his is enriched by your views and experience.

I re-iterate. The hypocrisy in history of those opposed to so called "mixed-relationships" because of "the suffering of the off-spring" are the bigots and totalitarians and history has shown this since time memorial.

If two people can conceive a child, then it is Gods will that a child should be born

Then let the couple decide if they wish to marry. Answering the initial post...I say YES.. you say NO. Dont bring the future children into this debate.. Thank you.

If you actually read my retort , it does NOT MENTION YOUR NAME...so why you feel aggrieved is beyond me. !! What I clearly stated is simple

"THOSE WHO FORBID RELATIONSHIPS USE EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL OF THE CHILDREN OF NON-SANCTIONED RELATIONSHIPS"

Considering this is meant to be a philosophical site, I presume opinions and debate is allowed. One point you did make is that such relationships shouldnt be allowed because the children would be confused ?

I answered that point by showing that in any closed totalitarian system, control of the off-spring is important. In a philosophical/historical viewpoint this has happened often. I am Addressing the argument SO NOT INSULTING YOU... I have shown that the Spartans, early Islamacists, Imperial Japanese, Nazi germany,Soviets, Kymer Rouge, Apartheid Africa, Catholic church....etc etc... HAVE BANNED relationships outside the CONTROL of the Authority/Religion and the excuse is always the humanitarian approach " THE CHILDREN WILL SUFFER".

That is a valid point to make. I dont know you../.but you seem to defend yourself against being called a bigot ? I argued a point...I have clearly mentioned a PHILOSOPHICAL AND HISTORICAL assertion that seems clear enough.

That is something you took to heart and have warned me... says more about your reasoning than my so called insult to you. Seems I have to agree with every word here !!! I suggest you re-read what I wrote and I believe that ANY totalitarian regime controls and forbids marriage with non-desireables cloaked in pseudo-humanitarianism. That is a valid point.

Ban me if you must then. I do not repent from my views.

Lionsingh ji thanks for your post. You are quite articulate but seriously you believe the thread starter wanted a poll of people who would say "YES" and others who would say "NO".

I do not believe so. Most of the comments you make are quite sound and do add value for learning. For example your reference to "totalitarianism".

In retrospect though, I personally believe that since the post is in "Sikh Rehat Maryada (SRM)" section the clear answer is "NO" as it is unequivocally so stated in SRM.

If the poster wanted a generic opinion non-considerate of Sikhism panthic and personal code (SRM), it should be posted in Interfaith, Relationships, etc., or other sections.

Perhaps it is still worth moving if Mods want to consider it.

Sat Sri Akal.

Your point can be made without calling people bigots and rascists. That is considered as personal insults and is completely unnecessary. Debate issues not personality. If you use polite and courteous language there is no reason you will not be welcome on this site.

Lumping interfaith marriage and inter racial marriage is completely wrong as they are not the same at all. The former is lifestyle CHOICE and the latter is biology. All the regimes you mentioned were against inter-racial marriage and some used faith as an excuse but they would not even agree to people of the same faith but different races which is wrong as then lifestyle's can still match. Compare like for like. The reasoning by them was control and ego, supremacy attitude. the reasoning here is lifestyle compatibility within the choices made by people. The 2 are not comparable.

No-one is saying inter faith marriage should be banned. That's a bit extreme!! People have choice and they come here to hear all sides of the argument and make an informed decision based on the choices available to them. You have every right to disagree but without inflammatory language whether directed to me or anyone else. You have made some valid arguments but so has everyone else. They do not have to agree with you! Those arguments have nothing to do with parenting skills.

From a philosophical point of view mixed FAITH (not race) marriages can cause conflict as there will be so many lifestyle decisions that will be at loggerheads. Children was only one aspect of this. Other aspects have also been raised. For many, Sikhi is a huge part of their life. Sikh philosophy governs everything for them. Even if its not a big part of life but is an important part of life, having a partner who cannot share this means that there will always be a barrier between them and that cannot cause alienation and resentment. If this is not you congratulations but this is something that the couple need to discuss together and work out for themselves before deciding whether to commit. Communication is the key. I know other people to whom music is so important they wouldn't dream of dating someone who didn't share this passion. I bet you wouldn't be calling them fascist, racist, bigoted etc!!!!

Findingway Ji..

You wrote: I know other people to whom music is so important they wouldn't dream of dating someone who didn't share this passion. I bet you wouldn't be calling them fascist, racist, bigoted etc!!!!

Funny that you should mention this...I have a very personal anecdote ref just this..
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=33861
Two families, two people. just about everything RIGHT and perfect...then it all fell apart...why ?? Because the Girl just happeend to ask IF the expected groom would accompany her on the tabla when she did kirtan....and the guy replied..I HATE MUSIC...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=33861
Both doctors..both established families, good status in the community, both involved in community work, both gurdwara attendees at all ocassions, amrtidharees, both got along well.............UNTIL the TABLA was mentioned..everyone was surprised...

hinduism bans alcohol as well for the drinking of humans xD