Train suicide mother left note "blaming family pressures"

Soul_jyot · #1 (**permalink**) 04-Sep-2005, 00:15 AM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1770

Train suicide mother left a note 'blaming family pressures'
By BEN TAYLOR and KHUSHWANT SACHDAVE, Daily Mail

The woman who dragged her two children to their deaths in front of a 100mph train left a suicide note spelling out how deeply unhappy she was, it has been claimed.

Navjeet Sidhu, 27, said family pressures had simply become to much for her.

Friends said she wrote the haunting message only hours before hurling herself and her son and daughter in front of the Heathrow Express.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-news/5491-train-suicide-mother-left-note-blaming.html
British-born Mrs Sidhu, who had given up her career to care for her children, had been taking medication and was heavily depressed following problems in her arranged marriage to her 31-year-old husband, Manjit.
She died along with her five-year-old daughter Simran and 23-month-old son Aman Raj on Wednesday when she leapt from the platform at Southall station in West London.

Detectives are examining the theory that Mrs Sidhu became desperately disillusioned with the traditional Sikh background and differing cultural values of her Indian-born husband and his family.

Her mother-in-law had come to stay shortly after the birth of their son although she is thought to have returned to the family home in India.
Yesterday a family friend said: "I have heard she left a suicide note at her house saying she was having problems."

The friend added that Mrs Sidhu had struggled to live up to the expectations of her new family.

'Pressure'
The friend, who did not wish to be named, said: "She had a lot of pressure on her."

The friend said that giving up work had been difficult because she was better qualified than her husband and the family had been struggling to make ends meet on his wage as a Post Office worker.

The scene of the tragedy is close to Sunrise Radio, Britain's biggest Asian radio station, where she had worked as a receptionist. Yesterday Sunrise chairman Avtar Lit said: "She was very caring and good at her job.
"She had the perfect mixture of Eastern and Western values, and was the perfect example of a British Asian. I was of course aware of this tragedy, but never in a month of Sundays would I have believed it could be her. She was so happy-go-lucky."

Another former colleague said: "She seemed the most unlikely person to commit suicide but she had an unhappy marriage."

Mrs Sidhu had told one friend: "I really need someone to talk to about my problems but no one will listen."

Yesterday the friend said: "Now I wish I had done more. She said to me about a month ago that she needed help. She was really unhappy.
"She started taking antidepressants not long after she got married.
"They came from such different backgrounds, it was inevitable there would be problems."

Another friend, Uzma Darr, said the couple who married seven years ago, briefly split last year during a trip to the U.S. but had got back together to give their marriage a second chance.

Yesterday friends and relatives visited Mrs Sidhu's parents. One said Mrs Sidhu was sobbing uncontrollably. "She kept saying she had no idea Navjeet wanted to take her life and she can't believe she took the children with her."
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=5491

British Transport Police believe Mrs Sidhu had been hanging around the station entrance since 11am - two and a half hours before she died. Mr Sidhu had arrived at the station just as his wife jumped. He held his dying son in his arms after picking him up from the track.

bhoolchook · #2 (**permalink**) 07-Sep-2005, 00:35 AM

Hello ! Everyone who so ever would go through this news would definitely feel let down because a sikh lady who could not face her social obligations had to take such a step.I am not blaming anybody but can easily say that our Sikh way of life does not prompt us to go to such an extent.Waheguruji has blessed us a life with a purpose and Waheguru has the right to call us back when our purpose of life is fulfilled as per His observations. How can we interfere in this process.Should not we submit to His will and surrender, no doubt we do do such acting daily morning and evening while bowing before GuruJi before and after prayers.Should we not be open hearted to provide such consultations at Gurdwaras free of cost to save the lives of the depressed.I was deeply hurt to read the news and feel ashamed as a Sikh, that one of my sister/daughter had to commit suicide for family problems.Should we also not think of exposing the persons who are creators of socially ill problems?

Soul_jyot · #3 (**permalink**) 07-Sep-2005, 02:00 AM

http://www.depressionindiaonline.com/main/sikhism_and_suicide1.asp

Suicide - The Sikh view:
Sikh moral thinking:

Sikhs derive their ethics largely from the teachings of their scripture, Guru Granth Sahib, and the Sikh Code of Conduct (the Rehat Maryada).

Guidance also comes from the example set by the gurus, and from the experience of the Sikh community over the last 500 years.

Suicide:

Sikhs have a high respect for life which they see as a gift from God. Most Sikhs are against suicide, as they believe that the timing of birth and death should be left in God's hands.

The Sikh Gurus rejected suicide, as it is an interference in God's plan.

Many Sikhs faced torture and ultimate death at the hands of tyrant rulers and fanatic leaders, though they could have found relief through suicide.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=5491

Suffering, they said, was part of the operation of karma, and human beings should not only accept it without complaint but act so as to make the best of the situation that karma has given them.

The Gurus regarded that man must have the moral courage to bear his suffering without lament.

He should pray for the grace of God to enable him to put up with pain in a spirit of resignation and surrender.

Birth and death are the prerogatives of God and under His command, and it is no business of man to oppose the Divine Will.

Care for others:

Much of Sikh moral teaching is devoted to caring for others who are less fortunate.

This suggests that the Sikh reaction to situations where people think about suicide would be to provide such good care that suicide becomes an unattractive option.

Conclusion:

The Gurus rejected suicide, as we do not have the right to give or take life. Birth and death are the mercy of our dear creator.

Sikhism (as already said) believes that life is a gift from God, but it also teaches that we have a duty to use life in a responsible way.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=5491

Thus, it is amply clear that there is no place for suicide in Sikhism. After all suffering is a part of the human condition and has a place in God's scheme. Suffering also prompts man to turn his thoughts to God.

seekingthespirit · #4 (**permalink**) 04-Nov-2006, 01:21 AM

I have one question on suicide being against God's Plan. If God has a plan and is all knowing, and everything that happens is his will--how can this act or any act be against God's plan? Just for the record, I am deeply saddened that one would take her life and her children's life nad ther is no justification for this. I am simply posing another question.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=5491
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=5491

Guru Fateh