Why Do Cultures Contradict Religions?

Harwinder · #1 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 05:12 AM

As i am writing this article for mere advice and do not want to offend anyone first and outmost.

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/relationships/35061-why-do-cultures-contradict-religions.html
I was basicly born and raised here in the US but am very close to my sikh roots. I understand that sikhism represents equality on all mankind weather not matter color cast or religion.

I took my girlfriend to the gurudawara sevral time who is white. I was said by one of the so called baba ji's there that this is not good and he asked if i was going to mary her and i said yes i plan on it and he said no you shouldnt. you mary in our culture. She also got looked at by pretty much everybody like they had seen a ghost. ( does that sends a good sign for our religion).

There is always a big nager kirten where i live and so i decided to take girlfriend there and there was not one secound that went by with someone judgementaly looking at her and sadly most of them were the bab ji's. She went the restroom and some indian girls commented to my girlfriend that she was trying to be indian and made some racist remarks that i do not wish to announce to respect her.

Now recently i have asked my mom that i want to mary her and she said you need to mary a indian girl who can take care of me and do what and indian girl does. Long story short now it has gotten to the point that my girlfriend is ready to become a sikh for me and raise our kids sikh but my mom still doesnt agree.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35061

WHY ARE WE SO IGNORENT OF OUR RELIGION AND YET STILL CALL OURSELFS SIKHS.

WHY DOESE OUR CULTURE GO AGIANST OUR RELIGION ?

WHAT CAN I SAY TO MY MOM THAT SHE WILL AGREE TO THIS MARRIAGE?

WHAT CAN I DO IN MY INDIAN COMMUNITY TO HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND EQUALITY?

PLEASE HELP

findingmyway · #2 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 06:22 AM

Harwinder ji,
I have moved your post to the relationships section as that seems to be the main focus. If you look through the section you will find many others reporting a similar situation. An admin note, please refrain from using all caps as it comes across as shouting and is not polite on the internet.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35061
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35061

With reference to not being given a warm welcome, I feel bad for your friend. Every Gurdwara I have been active in has been very welcoming to all whether they believe in Sikhi or not. Please can you clarify who these baba's are? Are they self declared sants? If they are, I would never trust them!! Gurdwara's should belong to the sangat and not a baba or sant.

Another note. Culture and religion are 2 separate things. Interfaith relationships are not easy at all so think seriously before acting. Once again, have a look at other threads to see what has been said there.

Harwinder · #3 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 07:29 AM

Thank you very much for your advice i did not mean to offend anybody and yes i will look at other threads i found this website in search of an answear and was eager to find it so i posted my problem right away. and point noted on the capitol letter thank you. I was not trying to ipmly yelling. Agian thank you

Mai Harinder Kaur · #4 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harwinder

Thank you very much for your advice i did not mean to offend anybody and yes i will look at other threads i found this website in search of an answear and was eager to find it so i posted my problem right away. and point noted on the capitol letter thank you. I was not trying to ipmly yelling. Agian thank you

Hi, Harwinder ji,

I thought you were yelling in anger and frustration. I might well have.

There is no excuse for this sort of behaviour in a gurudwara. None at all! I wish, on behalf of the Khalsa, I could apologise to you and her. Unfortunately, I can only speak for myself. You both have my deepest apologies.

Coming in a slightly different direction, she cannot convert to Sikhi for you. It is impossible. She can assume the outward appearance and actions of a Sikh, but actually being a Sikh is an inside job. No one can "faithfully believe" for another. Of course, if she believes in these things already, she is a Sikh and no ceremony is provided.

Here is the definition of a Sikh from the SRM:

Quote:

The Definition of Sikh :

Article I
Any human being who faithfully believes in
i. One Immortal Being,
ii. Ten Gurus, from Guru Nanak Sahib to Guru Gobind Singh Sahib,
iii. The Guru Granth Sahib,
iv. The utterances and teachings of the ten Gurus and
v. the baptism bequeathed by the tenth Guru, and who does not owe allegiance to any other religion, is a Sikh

My best wishes to both of you.

Mai Harinder Kaur · #5 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 09:17 AM

It just occurred to me that I did not answer your question.

Our religions, including Sikhi, embody our highest ideals and aspirations.

Our cultures reflect what we actually do.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35061

I live for the day when these two will be the same, especially for us Sikhs.

Ambarsaria · #6 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harwinder

Thank you very much for your advice i did not mean to offend anybody and yes i will look at other threads i found this website in search of an answear and was eager to find it so i posted my problem right away. and point noted on the capitol letter thank you. I was not trying to ipmly yelling. Agian thank you

Harwinder ji thanks for asking.

Again as Mai Harinder Kaur ji said, sorry for the embarrassment you folks experienced.

Take your time and get your families comfortable with each of you.

Parents love their children and few learn to let go. So be happy in spite and see how it develops unless you are in a hurry. Time changes lot of things.

Never lose respect and don't push when someone feels in a corner. Like saying no at the onset. Let them come out.

One thing that is quite valuable is to start talking facts rather than just yes or no dialog.

Ask your mom,

What she likes in the woman you are with?
- Smile
- Education
- Demeanor
- Upbringing
- etc.

Remember everyone has some qualities that people like but don't want to acknowledge. So try to look for positives.

Don't ignore what your parents say though. Think it over. Sometimes one does not see what others do specially those who raised you. They are not all bad either.

So focus on positive and don't force yes and no scenarios too much.

Sat Sri Akal and may both of you have happiness regardless.

Harwinder · #7 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 10:03 AM

Thank you ambarsaria ji and mai harinder kaur ji for those words of wisdom. i understand that my parent have raised me to be who i am today and i respect them. I want to get respect from my parents before i do aything big and i hope succeed and i will take the advice given her and apply it thank you

Ishna · #8 (**permalink**) 05-Apr-2011, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Our religions, including Sikhi, embody our highest ideals and aspirations.

Our cultures reflect what we actually do.

I live for the day when these two will be the same, especially for us Sikhs.

Unfortunately negative human nature is more powerful in the majority of people and prevents them from living righteous, idealist lives. That is why a true Sikh is very rare to find. Luckily SPN seems to be a magnet for true Sikhs, like yourself Mai ji.

It is sad that religion can't overpower culture. It all comes down to the evolution of humans. It takes a long time to evolve.